My husband needs help but no one will help.

[Shar]

Hi my name is Shar,

My husband has been depressed and anxious for years.  4 weeks ago he assaulted my children and myself, took most of our money and left.  All the protection and legalities are in place BUT...

Everyone tells me I just have to let him go and it's up to him not.  I've been told he needs to hit rock bottom, realise what he's lost etc...  Alas I have two children with him and he has three from his earlier marriage, plus a grandchild on the way.  They are all hurting.  I have lost my mate.

Is this the only option available in our society now.  That we just have to sit and wait?

Shar

[AGrace]

Hi Shar,

Welcome to Beyondblue. 

It's a terrible situation you find yourself in. I hope that you and your children are ok. There's no excuse for what your husband did, not even depression or anxiety can be blamed for this. 

I'm inclined to agree with others. Do you know where your husband is? Are you in contact with him? If not where would you start to look for him? When you say is this the only option in society now, no its not. Your husband has an option to seek help just by showing up to an Emergency Department or a local GP. Is all that you can do sit and wait,  no, what would you be waiting for? 

You mentioned all the legalities are in place, this is good. You and his children don't need to be subjected to anymore hurt.

Was your husband getting help before this point? I understand his children are hurting, the best you can do is be there for them. 

I hope to avoid further worry that your husband is found and receives some treatment,  until then I think focus on your recovery from this loss an focus on your children. 

I hope you will get back to us. 

AGrace

[geoff]

dear Shar, this is a terrible situation for all concerned, and there are a few questions I would to ask, but now is not the appropriate time.

I presume that the police are looking for him, but I am worried about his anger and abuse that he has demonstrated, now or maybe before as well.

He needs help and I wonder whether he has a drinking problem, sorry to mention this but I did while I was depressed, but eventually he will run out of money, so I'm not sure what protection there is to protect you, and you can let us know only if you want to.

I hope that you can keep us in touch, because your safety plus the kids is so important, and I know that you are worried about him, but at the moment he will probably refuse any help. L Geoff. x