Just not getting through

pete29 · ‎08-09-2015

I suffer with depression and have for many years now. The problem is my daughter is showing all the signs of Depressions, including refusing to accept it and she refuses to see or talk with anyone about it. She is 15yo. i am concerned, her school is concerned and she is becoming impossible to deal with. She knows all the tricks to not do things including refusing to talk with a Pdoc. she now is virtually not doing any school work and they are (this is really bright) considering suspending her, an option that she likes the sound of. Her mother is not in the picture and we have no support around us. To get her to school is a matter of an hour of argument, which is wearing me out.
Hellllp anyone? I need to find some way to deal with this. She needs help, but have run out ideas.

romantic_thi3f · ‎08-09-2015

Hi Pete29,

Thanks for reaching out to BB and I'm sorry that it's been so tough lately for yourself and your daughter.

It sounds as though the priority is to get your daughter some help. You mentioned that she refuses to talk with a doctor; is there a reason behind this? Is she afraid of what might happen? It might help to talk to her about what to expect in an appointment so that she feels more in control. She could also chat to BeyondBlue or Headspace (a free online session with counsellor) which would help preserve her anonymity and can be less confronting.

It might also be worth considering having a chat with the teachers or school counsellors (if there is one). They might have some advice or ideas on what might be able to assist her or have a bit more of an insight into what might be making her feel depressed. Perhaps it might be worth considering taking breaks, having additional teacher/tutor support, or getting some help in making friends/social groups.

Remember also to take care of yourself. You are not alone here.

I hope this helps.

pete29 · ‎08-09-2015

Thanks, My daughter has Aspergers and had been seeing pdocs for years, she refused to talk about anything with them and they gave up. She knows that they will just give up is she says nothing, so that is how she plays it, she is very manipulative in this respect. The Special needs teachers at her school, have no ideas, in fact they upset her today by asking if she was being abused at home this morning. I don't have an issue with this as they should check, but they did it in front of class, so made matters worse and they really need to wake up as to how to deal with these things. The reason they were checking is she has been upset because I have been forcing her to go to school and have yelled at her, She gets sensitive about this at times, "i hate yelling but when she will just hide under the sheets in the morning ignoring my telling her to get up, sometimes I just lose it and yell at her to get her up. Yes my focus is to get through to my daughter that she needs help, but she is very stubborn.

romantic_thi3f · ‎10-09-2015

Hi Pete29,

Thanks for reaching out again. I'm sorry that you are still quite stuck.

Is your daughter still seeing the psychiatrist? Do you know why she refuses to communicate with them?

I'm sorry that the special needs teachers put you both in that situation. That would make me really uncomfortable and even if that were true they certainly shouldn't ask in public. I wonder if it's worth trying to sit down with the special needs teachers and talk through what's going on so that you can both work together (you and the teachers) to help your daughter in the best way you know how.

I know that you said she's shutting off a bit but is she shutting off from you as well? What about her friends/social circle?

Hope this helps a little. Remember that you can always ring the BeyondBlue support line should you wish to talk to someone straight away.