Is there anything I can do?

[30_years]

Husband of 30 years with depression managed with meds recently made redundant at 57, says happy to be early retired but now depressive. I always feel it is my fault. Not speaking , moody, can't even say have you had a good day. So mean to me sometimes. Was physically threatened once though he doesn't remember it. If this is retirement do I have the rest of my life to look forward to this? He sees a psychologist every two weeks and is on meds. Can't talk, he turns everything against me (super intelligent). Most I can say is hello.  Every comment, such as any news is met with antagonism.Is this it for the rest of our lives? Just want to cry and make it all go away. Bringing me so down. I am the one working and supporting him, yet he is so mean to me. History of withdrawal. Kids' birthdays I managed myself while he withdrew to the bedroom.

[Neil_1]

Hi there 30 years;

Welcome to Beyond Blue and thank you for providing this post.

This sure sounds like not an overly good situation for yourself.  A few things jump out at me as being not so good – but one in particular was the part where you mentioned being threatened physically.  That in my book is the ultimate in going over the top and being the lowest of the low.  The fact that you also mentioned means that it’s still very much in your thought processes.  Was that a recent occurance?

Has he been as bad as he is now, while he was actually employed or do you think it’s gone to another level now?  But for the most part, all I can read through this is that everything for you at the moment is not good – perhaps aside from your work (where you don’t see him) and no doubt your kids as well.

This is just a suggestion and so take it how you wish too – but am just wondering whether he’d be available to take part in say an appointment or two with an organisation like Relationships Australia?  It doesn’t sound like you’ll get anywhere with just trying to talk to him at home alone and so some kind of professional mediation might be something to investigate?  Just a thought.

I am sure others will come forward with responses too, and I do hope you can come back and write again to us.

Kind regards

Neil