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How do I respond when my partner is pushing me away because of depression and anxiety

Dreamcatchr
Community Member
Hey guys, first time post. I have been dating a girl for 6 months. When we're together she's sweet and happy and laughs the day away with me. She has suffered with depression and anxiety for years and tends to be a pretty solitary person generally. Recently I got upset because she has been distancing herself and is very hard to get through to. It led to her breaking up with me. Telling me it isn't me, it's her and it's not fair on me. . I know she is going through a hard time at the moment and she is pushing everyone away. I love her with all my heart and there is no chance I'm giving up on her. I want to be there for her, I want to help her get through this in any way possible. Even if I'm not in the picture at the end. I'm not really sure how to go about this, I don't want to make this any harder for her than it already is. Can anyone please tell me what I should and shouldn't do for her. I'm just not experienced in how to be with and be around people with depression. I love her to pieces even though she doesn't love herself. People who know her have seen her shut off and withdraw like this in the past. Any help, advice and even opinions would be most welcome. I'm not sure what I should do, but I miss her terribly and want to be there for her 
10 Replies 10

Peyton18
Community Member

Hi Jmor,

I am going through exactly the same thing at the moment. My partner broke up with me a week ago. He has been struggling for a while and I’ve tried my hardest to be there and support him but he just keeps pushing me away. I’m unsure if he genuinely wants to break up or he thinks he’s making my life harder. I spoke to him 4 days ago and said I will give him some space. I just don’t know how long to leave it before I check in again. He has no family living in the same state and I really worry that he has no close support so I am finding it very hard not to reach out and contact him. I am not sure what the right approach is. He also says he thinks he is destined to end up alone, I’m just not sure if I believe that.