A bit of background, been married to my wife for 5 years, been together 12 years, were 29 years old. Two wonderful kids, 3 and 1.
She has been seeing a psychologist and GP for depression and high levels of anxiety for the last 8 months but I feel like we didn't understand for 18 months before that that we needed help.
She works two days a week now after dropping from 5, extremely thankful we have income protection, I work 5 days usually afternoons and look after the kids in the morning. With support from family she only has to have both kids together one day a week. She struggles to keep her emotions and anxiety under control with both kids at the same time.
I don't see myself as someone who runs, and have committed to helping her feel better about herself and us learning to stay in control as much as possible.
My wife is not abusive, manipulative and has not shown any signs to say she blames me for anything of what is happening. What she does do is what I call "leaving us." She is physically here with us but she doesn't respond when we talk to her, she forgets the simplest of tasks, seems constantly distracted and distant. This is the time I find hardest, I feel anxious about leaving the kids with her while I work, I feel like everything I do goes unnoticed and unappreciated. Sex is nonexistent during this time and any other time it seems like Its a chore.
I find the easiest way to stay in control of my emotions during this time seems to be to not expect anything from her, which whilst working full time and two kids becomes totally exhausting for me. When she "returns" from one of these states of mind it's extremely hard to pick back up where we left off before she "left us." I expect her to realise what's happened and at very least acknowledge it, I find it hard to continue to offer my full support without feeling her love for me.
this cycle happens every 10-14 days and lasts 3-5 days, and after 8 months I'm exhausted all the time, I've lost most of my friends, stopped going to the gym, and don't enjoy the hobbies I used to. I'm not sure what I'm expecting or asking for from writing this but just want to know how to keep being supportive, it know will get better eventually but it's so hard to keep it up.
how do you keep telling yourself to keep going?
Sincerely,
Exhausted.
