i think my boyfriend of two years has depression.
i think he may also have a problem with alcohol.
I've tried to have reasonable discussions with him about this, but he doesn't want to discuss it and gets defensive. he refuses to talk about the liklyhood of him having depression. he has agreed that he has a problem with alcohol. he refuses to see someone about these issues.
when i try to encourage him and support him and say we should do it together (as not to make him feel like he has a problem or like i'm attacking him) he acts like he hasn't got a problem and refuses. He takes on average a day or two off a month from work when he has a hangover from an all nighter (out drinking and on drugs all night).
He wont open up about his problems to anybody and won't discuss his feelings with anybody. We have signed contracts and are about to buy a house but i am in constant fear of him losing his job and then us defaulting and having to pay $40,000.00 for backing out of the sale.
We have been living together for a year. We are intimate maybe once a month or less. I don't think i can cope with this anymore as I also suffer bouts of depression and this is effecting me a lot as well. I am still in love with him and i don't want to leave him but its getting too unhealthy for the both of us.
I know that nothing will change unless he is willing to seek help for himself, but i don't know if he will ever be willing to get help. I've told him that i'm not sure i can deal with it anymore and his response is to tell me where the door is because he wont change for anybody but he also knows that i deserve better and wont hold me back if i want to leave.
I can't leave him because i love him. Does anybody have any advice for me?
i know i'm not the only one that is in this situation, and surely people that have been in this situation or similar have overcome it.... please help
