My husband & I have been together for almost 20 years. We have three young children, all under 10. Three years ago, things seemed to change dramatically (although I think they had been heading that way for quite some time). Eventually two years ago, he ended up in hospital and the doctor diagnosed him with anxiety and gave him medication. The medication helps, however lately, I'm not sure that it is. I have had counselling and believe that he is possibly also suffering from undiagnosed depression. He refuses to get any further help. According to him the medication works so thats all he needs. If he is having a 'down' moment, it is always my fault according to him. I try to be as supportive and caring as possible but it is starting to take its toll.
Twelve months ago, he quit his job as he hated it. I was working but only one day a week as one of our children was not at school. We made the decision for me to apply for a position in a town that we have always wanted to move to. I was lucky enough to win that position and we both thought that the fresh start would help. My children & I are loving the move. The job is great, the kids are all going well at school and we all fit into the community well. Unfortunately, my husband is getting worse. Apparently that's my fault too. He wanted to be a stay at home dad - he decided that is what is best for him. Lately he does
nothing around the house, and blames me and the kids for making his life miserable and the house a 'pigsty'. Without going into detail, as it sometimes gets explicit, he constantly verbally abuses me (usually swearing and calling me names) and has recently started on the kids.
I am
at breaking point and just want him gone. My two youngest idolise him. It makes me upset when I think of leaving him, as I know how upset they will be. My eldest, however, often comes to me and asks questions like "why does dad hate us so much" and "why is dad always mean to you?". That also breaks my heart and supports my decision for him to be gone. My other fear is that he once told me that before I met him, he tried to end his life. This was about 25 years ago, but I am worried that this will happen again. If he succeeds, my children will be left without their father and I don't know how I would cope with being the real reason behind him taking that step.
I am keen to hear from other people who may have been in similar situations and how you dealt with it.
I am feeling rather alone and stuck at the moment.
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