Desperately looking for help

[Huckle]

After struggling with treatment resistant depression for the past 4 years, my 23yo daughter ended up on life support in ICU 2 weeks ago after (her first) suicide attempt. This is an event I'd predicted and I've lived in constant dread, worrying ... not about "if" but about "when". However, as I always try to look for the good things in all situations, I'm grateful that the story thus far is different to what I'd predicted. After 4 days in ICU, "medically" she is ok, there is another chance to help her.

The problem is she has tried all treatments from ECT to TMS and many different cocktails of "the best" medications. She diligently attends psychology groups/courses designed to help her destructive thoughts, she is a good patient, a sensible patient, an easy patient and she tries so hard to help herself. But for her, this makes the situation more hopeless. Everytime she tries something new that doesn't alleviate her pain the situation becomes even more hopeless and she is tired and running out of energy to keep fighting.

Right now I feel she needs some extra support with mixed emotions from a failed suicide attempt, she is not only experiencing her usual mental health issues but she has added trauma and grief which are really affecting her. I'm running out of ideas to find help and I feel desperate that there may not be a next chance. I foolishly imagined that she would have received counseling about what she was thinking/feeling at the time she tried to take her life and there would be some sort of trauma counseling so she could talk things through. She desperately wants to talk to someone objective/impartial. She is really hurting. Help is so hard to find, she can't even get an appointment with her psychologist for a month. She sees her psychiatrist in hospital but he doesn't really talk to her, just tells her he has tried everything and it's up to her, then he tweaks her meds a bit more.

I will do absolutely anything to get her the help she needs and I will do absolutely anything to help her myself but I feel like I just don't know where to turn. Any ideas would be really appreciated.

Thank you.

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Huckle,

Thank you for sharing how you're coping (not coping). I'm really glad that you're here on the forums with us.

What you are feeling makes total sense- I get the sense of urgency when I read your posts and I imagine you feel this too. I feel like I want to do more for you both.

Hm, I agree with your psychologist and psychiatrist to an extent- but with any sort of therapy, the research is done against the diagnosis. DBT for example, is a gold star for BPD, and CBT for depression. When you talk about the psychiatrist, are you both seeing them together..?

Ah, I get that- it's definitely a hopeless feeling. I know your daughter wants this pain to end, but what does she want to do next in terms of recovery/therapy/people? I think no matter what you decide, it's allowing her to 'drive the car' in the sense that she's driving her mental health care rather than feeling like a guinea pig where things don't work.

I want to try and give you some credit for everything that you are doing and the energy that you are putting into your daughters care. You've shown nothing but resilience, strength and compassion. I hope there's a part of you that's able to see what I see.

rt