Dealing with a depressed husband

[E75]

Hi there,

this is my first visit here.  My husband and I have been married for 14 years and have 4 young children.  He has suffered anxiety and depression issues for most of his life but has only recently realised this is what it is.  Recently, the doc has suggested that maybe there was something else at play, such as ADHD or Aspergers.  (Both these affect our kids).  The past 4 years have been particularly stressful, involving 2 moves, health issues with 3 of the kids, job loss and financial stress.  He had been on medication for about a year and recently the doctor doubled this dose.  He is quite difficult to live with at the moment.  I don't think the medication is helping him.  He has developed a stutter and seems to be severely depressed at times.  I also think he is making poor choices and decisions.  We have recently decided to seperate, although it is going to be a bit of a process because we have to sell our old property first, in order to afford two places.  He is not dealing well with this.  The other night he told me he had been talking to lifeline.  I am really unsure what to do for him and how to ensure both our happiness.  Looking forward to hearing any suggestions.

[Jacko777]

Hi E75,

Welcome to the Beyond Blue forums, i am glad you have posted. So sorry to hear about the challenging time you have been having. I guess you need to focus on your own health first so that you can then help others. I am not sure what you can do for your husband either, hopefully others on this site will have some ideas, at least he is talking to someone about this (Lifeline) and I hope he is taking their advice. These are very stressful times you are both going through so it is very important you are seeking support. 

You could ring the BB phone service any time, to get professional advice on how to respond to your husband's situation. Going through the process of separation may be challenging, you may want to keep lists of the actions required so you are not over thinking, try and and cut any unnecessary emotion for a while, do what has to be done whilst conserving your energy. Happiness is a journey, not necessarily a destination, keep searching for the steps you need to take. Sorry I don't have more to offer, however I send you both much love and I hope you find some answers. Talk any time.

Jack