Conflict: helping friend vs not upsetting partner

[KIkiJo]

Hi, I’m new here and looking for advice.

My friend has suffered with severe depression for sometime now. I have always been there for her whenever she’s needed anything. We live 3 hours away from each other and in the last week, she has accused me of doing something unthinkable.

At first I was really shocked and angry, but then just felt sad that she could think I would do something like that. I have decided regardless that I would like to help her and support her through this rough time for her but my husband is very unforgiving and doesn’t want me speaking with her. He can’t hnderstand how I could forgive her or why I would want anything to do with her.

I am feeling very lost with what I should do and where I should go from here. I don’t want to abandon my friend when she needs the support but I love my husband and don’t want to lose him over this either...

[KIkiJo]

Thanks Mary,

I’m hoping that stepping back is the right thing to do because it’s the only solution I see and what I have decided to do. I have told her that I will still be here but that I just won’t be so involved. I’m hoping that she will eventually see why I have done that and understand. My family has to come first.

As for my husband and I, we are doing fine. He still doesn’t understand how I could want to help her after what she’s done but as long as I’ve taken a step back, he is happy. I can only hope that as time passes, her health improves and his guards drop. I don’t know that things will ever be how they used to be between us all but I hope one day, we’re all at least on speaking terms.

Thanks again so much for your help. You really helped me work through what I was feeling myself 🙂