H Carla
I am so pleased you have found your way here at such a desperate time, it breaks my heart that you are going through this and that it has brought your husband to break down. I too am a mother and it is such a bloody hard role, you are not alone, and this is one of the hardest things and you are doing a great job, the fact you are going to appointments, on here reaching out..you are wonderful.
I want to share a story with you and I am not sure if it will be helpful or what you will think but it is my story and it worked for us. It goes against everything your doctor has told you but you know what, there are many ways to skin a cat..pardon the pun!
My son, now 15 went through the same thing..I kid you not...he refused to go to school, wear the uniform, get out of the car when we got to school, the more I pushed the more I ended up going insane and the more he pushed back...it lead no where but to what felt like hell for both of us.
So...I sort the advice from a trusted friend who like me is no professional...but a mother...she said...
"Take everything out of his room but his bed, he cannot therefore destroy anything but nor will he have anything to do, then start in the morning as you normally would, "good morning X, time to get up and go to school, then it started..so I said, I am going to leave you here now and close the door, when you are ready to get dressed, to have some breakfast and go to school please come out as I would love to see you"...then I left the room...closed the door and waited....9am came, 10am came..I stuck my head in there and repeated the same thing "When you are ready to get dressed and go to school please come out as I would love to see you"..at this point I am beside myself an almost vomiting, however we are all calm...a bloody new experience!....this went on until 4pm and he came out dressed to go to school...I was floored...but now what..school is over...I told him how proud I was of him and that school is over for today, did not judge or say anything else..just got on with the night...then did the same thing the next day...this went on for a week..I am really summarizing here but I got him to school, he got dressed and we had calm mornings....I feel like the fire was diffused so we could communicate, he felt in control and made choices for him..ok so he missed some school, but not sure how good it was going like that anyway.
I feel for you Carla and not sure if this is helpful but I would love to chat more to you.
AS
