advice: how to help BPD sufferers

[Kayvee]

Hi there - I'm looking for advice on how to help BPD sufferers.

I think my husband has BPD coupled with anxiety/depression. It is not diagnosed as he sees nothing wrong with himself and has refused counselling.I have been seeing a counsellor myself (at first to try to understand what was happening and now to deal with our separation) and she is the one who has steered me to BPD.

We are now separated as he went from loving husband to hating me - for no reason. He tells people now that I am evil and full of venom. Nothing ever went wrong or happened for him to do this. 

I am no living with our one year old child and my husband is living with his parents. There are issues there now as he will not speak to his father. 

We are all at a loss what to do. He refuses help, sees nothing wrong with himself. Hotlines tell us to take him to a GP but he has not been to one for 36 years so there is no chance of it happening. 

I would love any advice from people who have been through this. We love him and just want to try to help him. 

He won't even speak to me so anything I can do definitely has to remain "behind the scenes". 

If anyone knows of any support organisations in Sydney or Wollongong that would also be very helpful.

Thank you 🙂 

[Jo3]

Hi Kayvee

I've just seen this post and replied to your other one.

Apart from what I've written on the other post the only other suggestion is to read up on BPD on this website - borderline support.com.au. They have some fantastic information on BPD.  

I hope you read my other post that you had replied to.

Good luck

Jo

[guest1]

Good luck. I will come back to this thread soon.

 Well ok a quick overview.

 People with BPD can be very emotionally unstable and impulsive (generally).

 Very rejection sensitive, they tend to either idolize or hate people (black and white thinking), and this can quickly change if they think the person is rejecting them or "hates them". It may not even be apparent what has triggered this sense of rejection, which they take as the most personal criticism of their self worth. Sometimes just not calling for too long can be enough.

They can sometimes seem to be very needy and stormy in relationships.

 Some people with BPD have histories of self harm behavior and general reckless behavior.

Some people with BPD also tend to have explosive angers or the potential to have complete "rages", at least at times.

Some peoples say that being around someone with BPD can- at least at times- be like "walking on eggshells", because you have to be gentle or they can be emotionally set off.

 I'm off for now!

Read up all you can!

[Kayvee]

Thank you for your reply. I have read up a lot on BPD and so has his family.

our biggest problem is he sees nothing wrong with himself at all so its hard to see how he will ever get the help he needs.

Can you share what made you acknowledge your BPD?

or do you have any tips to help him realise there is a problem?

Losing his wife and baby doesn't seem to have had any impact.

Thanks again for sharing,