A breakup due to his depression?

[keekeee]

My partner and i have a long history together and have been dating for just over a year, it was all great until the last few months he began to withdraw, and just seemed generally down. He claims to not feel anything and feel detached from not only our relationship, but everything life. We decided to take some space and end it because he wants to be alone so that he doesnt feel like a burden on me. I am worried as he only just realised that he is dealing with depression and is not seeking any medication or any professional help, but rather prefers to isolate himself from the world until he feels 'better'. We are both 25 years old and while I want this relationship to work and I want to support him, I dont know how to deal with this split. I am in two minds as to moving on with my life and treating it as a break up, or whether I can support him as the only reason for our break up is due to his depression. He claims he would like to be back how we were in the beginning of our relationship but needs time alone to sort himself out. Is it pointless for me to hold onto hope that we can work it out? Is there anything I should be doing to support him? How do I even support myself in this situation? I cant quite move on in case we do want to try again but I dont want to hold on to hope in the case he never feels like trying again? Has anyone had a similar experience to this?

[geoff]

hello keekeee, I'm sorry this has happened but we never know when this illness will take over it has the power and strength to destroy our life any time it wants to.
When people are consumed with depression they normally want to be by themselves for a couple of reasons, they don't want to get you involved and secondly they don't want to be asked question after question because they don't have any answers and don't want to be asked all the time.
Once you started dating, then if he had depression it would be overtaken by the love that always happens when you first date, but as soon as this settles down the real truth appears, so what I'm saying is that he may have had it before you dated.
Isolating himself and not taking any medication or seeking help from a psychologist is not going to help him at all, what will happen is that he will only become worse, because it's virtually impossible to be able to cure yourself of depression, but unfortunately you can't force him to seek help, nothing will work.
If you decide that you want to stay in this r/ship, you can text him saying that if he needs you then 'you are there for him with love and kisses', however if he is stubborn and won't go and see his doctor, then you're facing a huge battle.
You can leave but still stay in contact with him.
What you need to do to help yourself in this situation is to book an appointment with your doctor who may prescribe medication and refer you onto a psychologist, ask your doctor about the mental health plan, which entitles you to 10 free visits with the psych.
You're not deserting him, but you can't help someone who doesn't want to help themselves. Geoff.