The warmest of welcomes to you at a time of great struggle and challenge. I'm so glad you've come here to make a connection.
There can be such an enormous amount of challenges around the age of 14. As a gal in her 50s, looking back I consider
- the challenges of school
- the challenges from various people in our life, especially those who don't understand our nature and our struggles
- the challenges of figuring out who we really are as we begin to navigate life semi independently from our parents, people who used to dictate our direction to a massive degree when we were little
- the challenges that can come with how we feel
and the list goes on. Btw, any adult who says to a 14yo 'We all went through it (being a teenager). You'll be right' and then leaves it at that is insane, in my opinion. If they can only feel the need to say unhelpful stuff, without feeling any need to guide that person, I'd say they're not feeling in the ways they need to.
While people can easily dismiss feelings, I've learned fairly recently in life that feelings can be incredibly significant and very very telling. They can tell us a whole stack of stuff. If we're a sensitive person who has the ability to sense our feelings, the question becomes 'What am I sensing?'. So, while there may be plenty of people around saying 'You're too sensitive, you need to toughen up' (grrrr😠), they've got it all wrong. More helpful advice, based on my own experience, would be 'You're very sensitive, with the ability to sense. Now let's work on mastering that ability. Don't get rid of it, don't feel ashamed of it, master it'. Another way of looking at it is...If we're born with the natural ability to sense and we develop that natural ability into something incredible, we then become super natural at it.
I hope it helps in me saying that one of the most important things to get a feel for is who are the best guides in life for us. These will be the people who can help lead us in the right direction and help shed so much light on what's not entirely clear to us regarding our struggles. Gaining a sense of who are the best guides and who are absolutely terrible guides can be a massive help. I've found any 'guides' who are leading me to feel what 'down' feels like or leading me to feel what 'depressing' or 'hopeless' feels like are definitely not the ones for me. And the people who leave us to feel what 'alone' feels like are no guides at all. They just leave us where we are.
Anything you feel the need to talk about, go for it. Give yourself the freedom to express yourself and share what it is you're feeling right now.
