Pressures from friendships, family and school are making me feel so alone.

[hellohi]

Hi,

I feel very alone and I feel nobody wants to hear me. I try to talk to my parents as much as I can about everything stupid to important, but they don’t understand or respect my opinion. They always taunt me and they are never satisfied with whatever I do. I can't talk to them about how I feel. They would never show me their affection, they never hug me, or give me a proper response for my special moments or properly spend time with me. They avoid me. I don't have a strong relationship with anyone.

I know I am very overweight and extremely ugly, I have to put up with it myself every day of my life. I hate the way I walk, talk and I am dumb in everything I do. So many times I have known the answer or have an idea, but I cannot say it out loud in class. I am fine with sharing things with my friends and sometimes other students in my class, but even with them I feel ignored and alone, as I cannot keep up with things going on in their lives, they all have social media and I don’t and they go all travelling and I have never been out the house except to go to school. Or they simply don’t want to talk to me because of my ugly looks and lack of popularity. There are students in my class who everyone respects because they are good-looking not caring how rude they can be, everyone tells me being beautiful in the inside is more important, but no one cares about being kind. I feel so out of place.

I try my hardest to look skinny, I wear clothes that I think will help me do that, I try to keep my things clean and tidy and I try to be nice as much as I can. Nothing works, I always feel the same; alone and stupid. I don’t want any of my friends and family to know about how I feel. But with my parents, my younger brother and my friends ignoring me and making me feel alone, make me think about suicide and I can't sleep during the night or wake up early in the morning.

I don’t feel loved, happy or accepted in the people I am surrounded with.

I feel weak, alone, misunderstood, ugly, sad, confused and a burden on everyone. I feel confused as I got no idea where I want to work. I feel stupid and sad because my grandma has breast cancer and I haven’t seen her, all I have done is make her miserable, I want to talk to her which I can’t do it through a phone call, because at that moment I don’t want to say and I don't know if she wants to talk to me.

Maybe I am overreacting because so many other people go through worse things than me, but this is how I feel

[hellohi]

Thanks White knight, you have given me some hope and I don't feel as lonely as I did before posting.

I want to thank you for spending your time and providing so much support and detail in your replies.

[white knight]

You are welcome

Something in life take time. Time in itself is annoying- we want it now!...we want confidence, money, acceptance etc but, alas, it takes time.

In 1996 after 11 years of emotional abuse, I attempted suicide, thankfully I survived. I have two daughter then aged 7 and 4.

I left my wife and my eldest came to live with me at 12yo. The reason?- she was abused also. When she reached 26yo she married, walking her down the aisle she said “thanks for making it dad”.

I knew what she meant. Who would have replaced me if I’d succeeded?

Do why am I telling you this? Because in life to succeed we have to develop many things personal

• A fighting spirit
• A judgement on those people that do not deserve your company
• An appreciation for who you are
• A ongoing development of appreciation for life

So in closing there is a man that is called Maharaji, real name Prem Rawat. He doesn’t peddle religion but promotes well being. He has heaps of YouTube videos

google

Maharaji Prem Rawat YouTube sunset

mahar Prem Rawat YouTube the perfect instrument

and many more. Listen to one per day.

Loving yourself could be your greatest achievement, defending yourself the second,,,

TonyWK

[hellohi]

I will definitely listen to it.

I will definitely listen to Maharaji Prem Rawat YouTube sunset.

I read frog and the scorpion and the good Samaritan, they were inspirational and wonderful posts, I loved reading them.

I really appreciate your help. Thank you so much. Your daughters are very lucky to have you as their father.

Thanks again. 🙂

[hellohi]

I wanted to ask what I should do to be accepted by people and not feel alone.

I don't have any close friends and everyone I talk to seems to hate me because I am so useless, stupid and don't know how to keep a conversation going. They just ask me for answers and then leave, and follow leaders who can be rude at times but because they are good-looking, they swear and talk a lot and don't care about school, everyone respects them, including teachers.

Each day turning into a week to a month to a year, life is going away so quickly. I'm already 14, haven't had any good memories and I haven't done anything in life that I could be proud of. I always stay at home and have never gone on a proper holiday with my family. No one wants to talk to me because I am such a boring person.

I'm scared, what if my parents' divorce. I don't know who to choose as I don't have a strong relationship with my mum or dad, what if both of them don't want me? And my other family members live in a different country, so I don't have a strong relationship with as I don't feel comfortable talking on the phone.

I am so stupid and dumb and it is still hard to accept the way I look as I have many things wrong with me

Many nights I can't sleep, these questions and thoughts make it hard to concentrate. I don't like to the things I used to love, everything feels like an effort.

I feel like I'm being surrounded by this thick dark cloud.

[white knight]

Hi,

You will always be what you say you are. If you believe you are dumb, stupid, boring etc then why would others doubt it?

Firstly, you really need to keep looking for compatible friends. Someone that also feels they are denied friendships with popular kids. Keep a lookout.

In respect to your parents it isn’t a good idea to worry about “possibles”

google

beyondblue topic worry worry worry

Most people have an interest, hobby, sport, ability. This could be as simple as being good at jigsaw puzzles, sewing, drawing etc eg my niece is an expert in Harry Potter and is reknown worldwide on forums for her knowledge. She has read the Harry Potter books 10 times.

What is your interests?

TonyWK

[hellohi]

I know that my parents are going to have a divorce. They are waiting until I'm a bit older and they want me to choose one of them. I really don't know, who to choose.

I don't want to be friends with the 'popular kids' and there is hardly anyone else who doesn't want to be part of their group. There was this person who became my best friend, but I was absent was a week and then she started treating me differently and became part of the group. Now, we hardly ever talk and she uses me for answers as well. The people who are kind of my friends, make me feel bad at times. They brag about their family relationships, their weight and the places they have been.

I used to like to draw and play basketball, but I don't know why I don't feel like doing those things anymore. I don't know what I'm interested in, to be honest.

I wanted to thank you for talking to me, you have made me feel lighter.

Thank you,

Neerja

[white knight]

And Thankyou Neerja

becsuse you are trying, persisting and you have the decency to reply.

On this forum we get a lot of posters that never reply to us. So you do have good qualities in your personality.

In terms of your parents, they must love you if they are delaying their divorce until you are older. You see, I don’t mean to upset you but for many possible reasons you have developed with a mind that is negative. I was like that also, until 26yo when I attended a motivation lecture

google

Beyondblue topic 30 minutes can change your life

from that day on my whole life changed. I saw the beauty of life, of saving orphaned baby animals, helping people like you or building my defences against hurtful people- which is taking action with my problems

beyondblue topic fortress of survival

beyondblue topic fortress of survival part 2

Neerja- you are a good person and one day in the next couple of years you will mature more and maybe reflect in our chat here when it will dawn on you that you yourself can carve your own path to happiness with a list of things to act on

• Worry doesn’t solve anything
• action can solve most things
• discount nasty people as possible friends - there is many as teenagers
• seek a hobby or choose a footy team to follow
• think positive and never give up
• other people have problems but often hide them (eg your parents)
• that people put you down, don’t join them,
• concentrate on your school work, it will repay you
• life can be incredible and it’s there for you to grab and run with it into the sunlight

beyondblie topic only the strongest survive- make it YOU!

beyondblue topic the best praise you’ll ever get

ps Thankyou for telling me my daughters are lucky to have me as their dad. You have empathy...a gift

TonyWK

[hellohi]

If you see my parents, they hardly ever talk to me and when they do they just yell. Sometimes they have made me feel so bad about myself, at times they have made fun about my weight, they never support me in special events in my life: whenever I tell something good has happened in my life they don't even give me a proper response but they compare me with other teenagers.

But, you are right, they do have their own problems, they have arguments with each other, they are stuck in an arranged marriage. But I really want to spend time with them, I have dreams about us spending time because I know it won't happen in reality.

They are waiting because one time they had an argument, and I had to go to the hospital with chest pain. So since then, they decided to wait until me and my younger brother are older. But, I think you are right, they do care about me as they are staying together for me and my brother.

The reason why I want a good friend is that I can share stuff with them and hear their stuff, so I have someone to spend time with me, to feel supported and I can stay away from my family, it will give me and my family someplace.

I want to change, I want to live in a family where I feel supported, I don't care about the things they buy me, I appreciate that they spend their money on me, but I really want to feel that emotional connection with my family. I want to look different which will help me accept myself and be accepted by others.

Neerja

I really appreciate your replies, thank you TonyWK 🙂

[Aaronsis]

Hello Neerja, I hope you don't mind me using your name, it is lovely to know it though.

Tony WK has given you some really wonderful and useful tips here on how to try to turn your thinking around and to try to form a happy relationship with you, I agree so very much of what he has said in that what we tell ourselves is what we believe, even if you start off not believing it, some time to do some positive talk to yourself is so helpful, as in time you might actually start to see that it is possible and that you are a wonderful person.

You are trying and you are taking on board the suggestions that we are putting to you, considering that there could be another way of thinking, this is a really positive step forward.

I just wanted to say something about your parents divorcing, as an ex wife and mother, also a child of divorced parents. Role playing how the day/event will go is only a new avenue to worry and cause you unnecessary pain and anxiety. I totally understand that it is really hard not to overthink this event however, in my experience, the days did not go how I played them out in my head. I actually have a better relationship with my ex than when were married, which makes us both happier, which makes him the best version of him as a father, and me the best version of me as a mother. That my children are actually happier now than when we were together. I understand that every one's situation is different but I promise you that you will not be forgotten in this separation, your parents love you. Try not to think about "who am I going to live with?" the decision might be made for you and all this worry will have been for nothing, I know it is hard and a really sad time, but sometimes it is a happy time too...I know that sounds weird but really, good things can come from difficult situations.

I am sorry you are going through such a hard time but we are here for you.

We care about you and I can see what a beautiful person you are Neeja.

Chat soon

Sarah xxx

[hellohi]

Thanks, Sarah, for your reply.

I will try my hardest not to overthink about my parent divorcing, but it is hard because they argue with each other, then they don't talk to each other for days and then they ask me to choose one, to choose who is right. It's hard. I can't talk to anyone of them, as I don't have a strong relationship with them, they don't understand nor support me. I feel alone, so these thoughts just pop up in my mind, which are really hard to stop.

Thanks, Sarah/Aaronsis and Tony/WhiteKnight for being there for me and giving me your time, support, kindness and advice. it means a lot for me.