my best friend's dad suicided and i dont know what to do...

[jessimin]

hi,

3 days ago i was with my best friend who got a phone call from her mother telling her that her father called crying about something he has done (assumedly something unlawful) & was something quite surprising & alarming to her...

the next day, she hasn't heard from him - no one had. & as the next day approached, still nothing. my friend kept me updated on this as i was the only one that knew about this because of the day of the phone call. they called the police & they found him... suicide.

my friend jokes around a lot, especially about serious things. so of course when she told me (mind you i was the first to know outside of her family), i refused to believe it... and i told her that. i told her that i dont believe her.

but when she sent me a video explaining everything that had happened, i realised that i have NEVER seen her cry up to this moment. it was all very real. ive never experienced anything like it so i dont know how grief works. but she APPEARS to be doing fine but i know she's not. & i dont know if it's a coping mechanism or whatever...

my friend has dealt with terrible things in the past but she has never opened up to me about it. she's usually always the one who puts a happy face on all the time & i think thats what she's trying to do...

im scared she may do something? im scared that she isn't coping very well & im trying so so so hard to support her but i need advice on how.

ive never done this before, so thank you for reading.

[Sophie_M]

Hey jessimin, welcome to our friendly online community. We are so so sorry to hear about your best friend's dad. We imagine that must be incredibly difficult for your best friend and her family to go through, and for you as well. It is very kind of you to be concerned about your friend and to seek advice on how to best support her. We're sure she appreciates your friendship.

We thought we'd link you some resources that may be helpful. For instance, we have some information on "supporting someone" (see here), "supporting someone after a suicide loss" (see here), "worried about someone suicidal" (see here) and "talking to someone you are worried about" (see here). It's also important that you look after yourself, which we have some information on here. 

Furthermore, you or your friend may benefit from contacting or checking out the following services: 

• Griefline – 1300 845 745
• StandBy – Support after Suicide 
• Support After Suicide – (03) 9421 7640
• Survivors of Suicide Bereavement (SOSBSA)

We hope that some of what we have shared is helpful and that you find some comfort here on the forums. Please feel free to keep reaching out here on your thread whenever you feel up to it. 

[Ggrand]

Hello jessimin,

A very warm and caring welcome to the forums...

I am so very sorry that this has happened to your best friends family and you...

Sophie has given you some great supports that might help you.,,

Your best friend would probably be trying to manage so many different emotions as well as grieving the loss of her father...

jessimin....I think your friend might be trying to brave for her family....Just by you being there for her, when she needs to talk or needs a shoulder to cry on...or just needs her best friend to sit quietly with her....These are all very caring and supportive things you can do to her her..having a caring and supportive friend is something that she needs right now...I can hear in your post that you have a lot of care for you...Please just be you when your with her..

Talk here anytime you feel up to it...We are here for you with our care and support...

My kindest and most caring thoughts..

Grandy..