Lately TW: suicide/ self harm

[Velvet0w0]

So lately I’ve been having the feeling of killing myself, I’m 19 and have been having a hard time at home like getting into arguments over small little things and I’m over it and trying to get out but don’t know how to tell my mother that i want to move out and live with my boyfriend and his family for now, until w egret a place ourselves and when i move up there planning on getting a job up there, as where i live there’s 2 parts to the town so it’s hard to see him everyday because we live in 2 different parts in town he live son one side of the town and i live on the other, but I’ve been having the feeling that everyone would be better off without me, these feelings went away ages ago because they for some reasons come up every now and again, like this has been happening since i was in year 7 since my friendship broke apart in year 7 and had to make new friends, but just trying to get though one day at a time lately, but this weekend being at my boyfriends has helped a lot tbh, but I’ll get there i guess, but been talking to friends about it there sorta helping but it’s not really helping tbh, because sometimes i can talk to no one about this because they don’t live near me at all some live out of town and some live on a farm that are sorta in town but not at the same time. 

Velvet0

[white knight]

Hello precious

I fully understand and this problem seems more to do with your general unhappiness for being separate from your boyfriend and your parents not fully accepting the gravity of how you feel. This is very common. But you are an individual and we all react differently. In your case suicidal and self harm thoughts are flooding your mind and these thoughts are harmful.

Firstly, is there a relative a kind auntie or a school counsellor you can talk to. Talking will help. Can you attend your doctor to talk? If all else fails please ring the number at the bottom of this page or lifeline. Or you could walk into a clinic and tell them "I need help". 4 years ago I did that and a warm older lady held my hand for 2 hours until I settled down- I realised I did the best thing ever!!. 

In the meantime try to talk more on your telephone to friends and family about your issues, talking helps. Can you write? Try poetry or a short story. Distracting yourself is the best remedy to divert your fears.

Trust me in saying that in years to come your problems now will seem so insignificant compared to today. 

I hope that helps.

Thoughts?

TonyWK