Everyday I see people hanging out with their friends or partner, and doing such amazing things like having a beach picnic or doing a pottery workshop or even simple things like having lunch and going shopping. I don't have anyone to do these things with. I wish I did. I've spent so much time and effort trying to make friends but they all turned out to be fake (e.g. constantly cancelling plans the day of, ghosting my messages for weeks, or months, never asking to hangout, etc). I don't know how much longer I can keep trying. It's been too long, I deserve what everyone else has. Everyday Im alone at home rotting in my room. I don't even have the motivation to wash my face in the morning. Im jealous of what others have. I wish I could have at least someone to go shopping with. I don't like shopping alone. When I go shopping alone I don't speak a single word. I love talking. It hurts so much. I've cried the most I've cried since I was a kid, even more than when my grandparents died. I can't let my 20s be like this. What a waste of my prime. I know I'll still be young when I'm 30, 40, and heck even when I'm 50 I'll still be young. I just don't want to waste what I have now. Time. Maybe I'm too boring, too shy, not talkative enough. Maybe that's why I don't have anyone.
