I hate my life

[Justin95]

Hi My name is Justin. I’m new here at beyondblue and I don’t know much about it but I’m hoping I can get some support because of what I’m going through. Let me explain: in 2017 I dropped out of high school year 10 because I had some anxiety, people would constantly sniffle and cough during classes, this type of sneaky bullying destroyed my developing mind. I was then stuck at home depressed and hopeless then my Aunt started sniffing so I told her to leave my house live in the garage, then she developed cancer but I still couldn’t live with her because of her sniffing. My Aunt died at the hospital , I was then kneeling at the hospital bed where my Aunt died then someone started coughing it was one of the nurses, so I shouted at her and threatened to kill her after just witnessing my Aunt die. After adjusting my life without my Aunt I felt depressed hopeless and stupid but my irritation to people coughing at me only returned with a vengeance. I stayed at home for 2 years in a row WITHOUT LEAVING my home. I felt like a damn BOO RADLEY. Then my next door neighbors started sneezing and coughing, so guess what I switched house. So I left my home first time in 2 years, the home movers workers also started coughing. I’ve been admitted to a mental hospital but got nothing out of it only more frustration and hopelessness .Now I’m a helpless unemployed loser taking medication and regularly visiting my psychologist; who also happens to cough but she says it’s her itchy throat which I reckon is bullshit. These days I am planing to go back to school so I can get a good job but I am going to have to face my fears which is by all the most horrifying thing I will ever have to face. If you are reading this maybe you to want to cough. God bless me...

[Sophie_M]

Hey Justin,

Welcome to the Beyond Blue community,

Thank you for sharing your story here with us. We're sorry to hear how impacted you have been throughout your life by others coughing and sniffling. We can hear the amount of stress and anxiety it has caused you. Would you be able to share with us more about what thoughts and feelings you have as you hear a cough or sniffle? Please know that you've come to safe, non-judgemental space to talk things through and our community is here to offer as much support, advice and conversation as you need.

If you feel it may be helpful, you are always welcome to get in touch with Kids Help Line. They are a confidential and anonymous, telephone and online counselling service specifically for young people aged 25 and under. We’d also welcome you to reach out to our Support Service, which is available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport.

We hope that you keep checking back in and let us know how you are going when you feel up to it. We're all here for you.