Dear Teegs~
Look, I've felt the same as you, and thought I was a burden, that things did not go right around me, and the medical profession was on the totally wrong track. I ended up trying to kill myself.
Lots later now I can see the depression had got rid of all my positive thoughts and substituted the negative and the hopeless. What was worse was I could see no way out -no hope.
I did not improve until I had the right competent medical help.
Now, your town may not have any facilities to help, ordinary GPs are not really equipped for Mental Health conditions, so I'd not blame you for writing them all off.
There is at the moment a program called Telehealth, where you get to a GP, Psychologist or Psychiatrist via Skype or some similar arrangement, and he can be the other end of the country. It works fine, I'm using it myself at the moment.
May I suggest you go ask whichever GP seemed the most reasonable to look into the matter for you. You sound at the end of your tether and there should be no question you get help that works, it is only deciding how.
Do you think you are prepared to give it a go?
From the mindset I got when depression hit I would have thought my family did not care, and my freinds had all gone. As it turned out my partner was a real understanding help, it made a difference.
Now I lead a pretty good life, with love, giving and receiving support and accomplishment. Although you cannot see it now it can be there for you -as it was for me.
Please come back and say what your think
Croix
