I can’t sleep

[Chilli_Pepper]

I am currently too overwhelmed to fall asleep, and so i just want to vent a bit.

it is terrifying. i am currently applying into a new school- and only now do i realise the amount of stairs they have

(context: i am scared of stairs due to persisting suicidal thoughts)

i love the buildings- 100%, it looks amazing.. but i dont think i will cope regularly moving along them. maybe its just the stress thats making me think like this// but either way, my heart beats faster around them. im scared the adrenaline would make me want to do it.

i am depressed- more times than not am i often sad- or even a hollow husk of who i used to be (or… masked to be) i dont want this adrenaline to be my death.

im scared

(by the time ive finished this message, ive calmed down, im going to try to sleep again) hopefully this follows the terms and conditions…

[smallwolf]

Hi. I hope you were able to get a some sleep. I had some trouble staying asleep last night so I got up at 4am did some, came here and now found your post.

Btw... welcome to the forums. And your post made it through! Yay!

I have found that writing things down helps to get the thoughts out of my head. And depending on the time, like yourself, try to get back to sleep.

Do you want to tell me more about the school? What prompted the move?

Regardless of whether high school or Uni, have you spoken to a counsellor (at school) about what you are going through? Or your parents? And if you are under 25 you can also chat with people from Kids Helpline -

https://kidshelpline.com.au/

This is also a safe space and the people here are supportive and non-judgemental. I hope you will come and chat some more. Listening to you,

Tim

[james1]

Hey Chilli Pepper

Welcome to the forums. It sounds like you've been dealing with a lot and this application is both exciting and scary, so I'm really glad you've found your way here to speak with us.

Like Tim, I'd also love to hear whether you've been able to speak with anybody and if you have any other supports in your life at the moment.

Otherwise, we are here for you too and I hope posting helped you feel a little less scared and overwhelmed, and you were able to get some sleep. I find speaking to others can really help, even just temporarily.

James