Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

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Do you have a safety plan?

replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section

replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

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Tired and overwhelmed

replies: 4

I've been suffering on and off with depression for more than 20 years. It's exhausting. I've been on all types of medications and tried everything from, spa baths, meditation and yoga, but I can't get out of this feeling of hopelessness, anxiety, helplessness and uselessness. I don't pity those that have passed on. They are in peace and in a strange way I envy them. It's all about your thoughts and beliefs around death. None of knows, but I have a very strong belief that it's just like sleeping or pre-birth. My Dad used to call it the big sleep. What do you remember before you were born or even before the age of about 4. NOTHING. That's death to me, nothing. No money, no pain, no responsibility, no heartache. Pure peace. The pain and sadness is only inflicted on those still alive. That's the only thing keeping here, in this crazy world of disasters and misery. Life is suffering and I'm really sick of suffering every day. Sleep is my best friend. I can't get enough. To wake, is to suffer all over again for another day.

Feel like I can’t do this anymore, I am exhausted

replies: 4

To those who say “it gets better” “ just keep going” I am sorry but it doesn’t feel that way and I don’t feel like I have the strength to keep going. I am fighting a losing battle and I don’t see the point in continuing to fight when I have been like this for 15 years; each time it comes around it’s even stronger then before ; I am and have been on anti depressants for years, I’ve seen therapists galore, when you think things are finally turning around... nope that doesn’t happen. My perceptual reality is loneliness, it is all I have known; people don’t really see you , they don’t really care. I don’t even know why I am reaching out; I guess there is a flicker of hope. I don’t see a light at the end anymore only darkness and despair.

Can't take it anymore

replies: 3

I'm so sick of being ignored. Thought about suicide all day during work. If I die right now, noone would care. People wouldn't even I realise if I was gone. I would only be statistics at death records. I don't deserve this. I want to fight for the fu... View more

Trigger Warning Triggered my recent sexual assault allegations in parliament

replies: 4

Hi, TRIGGER WARNING ️ I haven’t been here since my last hospitalisation in august last year. Despite some ups and downs things recently have been good. Got a new job have moved into my friends place and I’m in the process of buying a house (scary). but the latest allegations of sexual assault by a cabinet minister from a woman who suicided last year have sent me into a bit of a spin. Then I read a sex trafficking story and the parallels in that story resonated with what happened in my marriage. The divorce last year was a major reason for my hospitalisations. I started to self harm again and that made me realise that I’m still very much not ok. I’m not seeing a psychologist as money has been tight and I haven’t found one that’s a good fit. My GP has been great but keeps referring me to my psychiatrist who is not so great at talking therapy. idk do you ever get over the trauma of sexual assault? I don’t want to be seen as a victim. But I think not acknowledging my early experiences or sweeping it under the carpet of outward success was what led to a highly insidiously abusive marriage. It was hard to recognise it for that but now I finally see it for the manipulation that it was. I’ve finally realised what my GP was trying to say all along. That it doesn’t matter how life treats you. Good or bad it’s still the same s**t underneath. It’s been awhile since the urge to self harm has been here and I’m disappointed that it’s come back despite the good things that have happened. How do you ever move on? A lot of people don’t.

Abusive parents

replies: 5

My parents have been abusive my whole life and I developed ptsd from that. I can't deal anymore. Traumatic things keep happening one after another and I keep getting worse. I just want a normal, loving family. That's all I've ever wanted but I know that's not something I can get. No amount of therapy or meds can fix that. There is no solution. And by family I mean parents and siblings. I'm so suicidal right now (have been for years). Uni just started and I already feel like deferring... Nothing makes me happy anymore btw (like hobbies and stuff) been like this for a while now. I'm on medication but even that doesn't help that much. Also I feel like I'm losing touch with reality.

Concerned and at a loss...

replies: 5

Hey Everyone, my apologies for this extremely long winded post as I’m currently at a loss as to what to do as and who to seek help from, as me and my husband have been married for 10 and a half years been together for over 11 years. We both have depression and anxiety. He suffers also from acute paranoia and has had epilepsy himself since his childhood. the problems that’s been going on for awhile now is that 6 years ago our marriage had some big issues and was in trouble, we did seek counseling, went through 3 counselors. The 3rd one really helped but the company couldn’t no longer allow the counselor to keep helping us. We’ve also had severe issues with our current neighbours who live above us and the previous neighbours who were violent towards me and has caused my husbands paranoia to flare up. My husband has also had psychological issues with his father who’s been abusive to him. one other thing is my husband has had bad relationships in the past that have all cheated on him. And because of the history with his ex’s it’s left him questioning every thing I do, or any one else who he knows. His paranoia has gotten so bad that he thinks his own friends are going to hit on me and that I will leave him. im now at a loss of how to help him, as he’s currently still seeing a psychologist, a psychiatrist and still is seeing his current doctor. Everything I say or do seems to be going through one ear and out the other no matter how much I try to comfort him, he’s also saying he’s given up on his life. I’m at breaking point and our daughter is noticing it too.

Started a fundraising campaign for a charity to eliminate suicidal thoughts. The campaign isn't going well and I lost my confidence.

replies: 8

Hi to the wholesome users of Beyond Blue, I've been having suicidal thoughts (and I'm not using this term loosely) for a while now due to loneliness. Then I watched some videos on youtube about how to deal with it. One of the ideas was that I could start a fundraising campaign and feel a sense of accomplishment when different individual have contributed to my cause. It sounded great. Since I've been growing out my hair for a year now due to COVID, I thought I'd start a campaign with a leukemia organisation. Unfortunately, my campaign hasn't gained any momentum in the first four days as I don't have a great social bubble, which is obvious from being lonely.

I don’t want to hurt anymore

replies: 2

Hi I am 38 years old have had anxiety and depression for as long as I can remember (think it started when my dad died when I was 6) I have 7 beautiful children but I’m so overwhelmed I honestly can’t do this anymore I have no family and no friends all I do is clean then go to work I just finished work it’s 1.23am and I’m sitting in my car I just can’t stop crying I honestly hate myself so much trying to keep my mind occupied so I don’t hurt myself.

Husband wanting me to sleep with other men

replies: 4

I have been married for over 25 years, husband currently unhappy with monotony of life and wanting to create some excitement (we are 50). He wants me to pursue other men, believing it will create more passion and excitement in our lives. It is all he talks about, I am tired of hearing his constant requests for this to happen. When we have a weekend away, it generally ends with a massive argument in the car on the way home because I am not open to his suggestion. I am not a confident person and find the idea challenging. I want to be more fun and spontaneous, but his mood is so up and down, I am struggling with our relationship. He is either fully on (affectionate and caring) when he believes we have made 'progress' towards his goal, or completely removed and distant if he feels I am not on board with his idea. I really don't know if I want to be in this relationship anymore. This scares and distresses me, as we have had, until a year or so ago, a fantastic life together. Sometimes I want to be done with everything and this is bringing thoughts of how to end my life, which I don't really think I want to do, but I just want an 'out' from the constant pressure of not being enough for him.

What exactly is "crisis"?

replies: 8

Hi... This is my first time here. I've been contemplating and searching for forums and online support for a while and thought I would post. I look at all the supports online.. all the phone numbers.. and I wonder, what is crisis? What constitutes being in crisis? Do I have a right calling those lines when I am having a "bad night"? This is my dilemma... I am a self-harmer... I am not ashamed, it is a coping mechanism and, though I have controlled it, when I am at my worst and having a "bad day" my mind searches for something to self-harm with. Am I in crisis at this point? Should I be calling someone? I know if I physically talk to someone I will bawl my eyes out, and control is something I pride myself on (or what eventually breaks at that point). I have a counsellor but her time is sparse so there are 6-8 week gaps in our sessions. I just don't feel I have a right to call... I don't know.

Do you have a safety plan? replies: 97

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section replies: 0

Tired and overwhelmed replies: 4

Feel like I can’t do this anymore, I am exhausted replies: 4

Can't take it anymore replies: 3

*Trigger Warning* Triggered my recent sexual assault allegations in parliament replies: 4

Abusive parents replies: 5

Concerned and at a loss... replies: 5

Started a fundraising campaign for a charity to eliminate suicidal thoughts. The campaign isn't going well and I lost my confidence. replies: 8

I don’t want to hurt anymore replies: 2

Husband wanting me to sleep with other men replies: 4

What exactly is "crisis"? replies: 8