Hi

[hanbanana]

Hi, this is my first time here. I don't really know how everything works but I think this might help me. I've been having off and on phases of suicidal thoughts, last time was last lockdown. I've got a lot happening around me lately and I just want to be happy.

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

You've done well for your introduction.

Now you can start a new thread with whatever is on your mind - any topic you like.

You can also use search bar at the top and enter things like "suicidal thoughts".

In the meantime can I help with anything ATM? Lockdown can be really challenging for some people. I've tended to use SKYPE more to talk to family and friends more directly and actually see them rather than the phone. I've used Facebook more too. It all adds up to more contact.

Can you tell us what interests you have, work, career, hobbies etc.

Repost anytime. This is a safe place.

TonyWK

[Aaronsis]

Hi hanbanana

I would firstly like to make sure you are safe and if you are considering hurting yourself please call 000 and have an ambulance some to you. There are also the most wonderful people at Lifeline on 13 11 14 that are available to talk to if you are really struggling.

I am so proud of you for reaching out today to share how you are feeling and to let us sit with you and to listen and put a virtual arm around you and to let you know we care.

If you would like to chat some more about how you are feeling or share some of the things that are happening around you lately I would like to listen, only if you want to though.

Lockdown is hard, it is nothing that we have experienced before and it is alot to get used to and to have to manage. Being told we cannot go out and live our lives as we once did is very hard. Please know you are certainly not alone in these feelings during lockdown and that it is a very difficult time.

Welcome to the forum and I am so proud of you for being here.

I hope to chat to you some more.

Hugs

Sarah

[hanbanana]

Hi TonyWK,

I was really scared about posting but I'm so glad now that the response has been so welcoming.

Just talking to others about it without being afraid of the consequences is a big help.

I'm definitely on the younger side of people using the forum which added a little bit of stress. I'm in high school, I enjoy reading, philosophy and art. Though lately I've felt a bit uninterested and detached when trying to engage in those activities again.

Fortunately I live in a big household so I'm aware the effects of lockdown have probably not been as harsh for me. But isolation from friends is hard and so is keeping up with school.

I'm vey grateful for the reply.

hanbananas

[hanbanana]

Hi Sarah,

Thank you for all the warmth. I loved reading it.

Lockdown is definitely hard for everyone. I would love to talk with you about managing it.

I really happy to have a place online like this that is so welcoming.

Thank you,

hanbanana

[white knight]

My daughter was an art teacher (and maths). She is 32yo now and should be having an art exhibition now but Covid has stopped it for now.

I remember when she was 8yo and drawing was her favourite past time. I then taught her how to draw 3 dimensional. She took off with it. Now the paintings she paints are incredible and it is also her relaxation too.

I used to do model airplanes, fly them remote control. Every now and then I get back into it. So these interests come and go you will find depending on moods and the like. My wife and I are soon going to buy a slot car racing set for the garage.

It doesnt matter if you are only school age, we are still here for you. Sarah is another community champion that is truly wonderful.

TonyWK

[Aaronsis]

Hey hanbanana

High school is hard and I am not sure how you are finding home schooling but if you are like my two kids (17 and 14) they are not coping that well. They feel disconnected from friends and also have lost interest in attending classes online, it is really hard to get them to engage and I am sure that the teachers find it hard too. It is just a tough situation to be in. How are you finding home schooling?

Lockdown is nothing that we have done before so we are all trying to accept this way of living and find ways of coping. It is that much harder when the things you used to love don't interest you anymore, I started to paint, while I am not very good at it it was fun and it totally took my attention and I actually really loved it. I think it is just trying a few things until something sticks with you, even if it is just for a day.

Have you been able to connect with any of your friends, FaceTime or even just on SnapChat? I know it is not the same but a chat from time to time might help to ease some of the "friend" anxiety too. I am not sure if that is something that is happening for you but my daughter is going through questioning if her friends still like her and if they want to still be her friend, and I get that as she hasn't seen them for so long and it is hard to try to get her to connect as she is fearing rejection.

It is a great place to come and to chat here, there is some level of comfort in being anonymous and to be able to share things that you would maybe feel uncomfortable to say or to share to someone you know. In saying that though if you are struggling with suicidal thoughts being able to talk to a person who can support you is very important too. Kids Helpline also have a web based chat service that you may also find really helpful too if you wanted to share some things there with a professional. I will put the link here for you:

https://kidshelpline.com.au/get-help/webchat-counselling

How has living in a big household been for you? Are there siblings that you could play a board game with or even bake with or play a video game with? Maybe not but maybe!

Great to chat to you some more and am around if you would like to chat too.

Hugs

Sarah

[Petal22]

Hi hanbanana,

Sorry you have been feeling this way.

I understand the dark thoughts I also experienced these while I was going through severe anxiety….. I learned that these thoughts usually accompany anxiety and depression…. The thoughts really scared me…..I have now recovered and my dark thoughts have lifted.

If you find your thoughts are distressing you please speak to someone you trust or you could speak to your gp about the way you have been feeling….

I understand lockdown would be difficult….

Have you been able to discuss how you are feeling with your parents?

We are here to chat to you