Hey I just got released from prison after almost 5 years and I’m feeling jaded af

[burner]

Hey I just got released from prison and I feel jaded af 

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

Glad you are here. We dont judge people at all for any past life etc. In fact we embrace those that have had such life events lived and embrace trying to help you.

I knew a guy once that spent 28 years in jail, the notorious Pentridge prison. When he got released his eyesight, anything beyond 200 metres was completely a blur. He hadnt looked at anything that far for all that time. Of course that is only one of the symptoms of jail but with the transition from jail to society it can be a huge challenge. A focus on basics is what is needed not much different to a separated partner after many years, trying to adapt in another life, another town and another lifestyle.

By jaded I assume you feel out of place. Have you told yourself that is ok to feel that way? Giving yourself permission to feel the way you do remove any thought that you are unique to this situation. "Give yourself time" is a good thing to say out loud as you sit in a park. Do you have hobbies? sports? Do you follow a footy team? Are you handy with your hands eg  making wood items maybe for kids, do you have nieces/nephews to make things for? Whatever the answer to being distracted it is an advantage to comb through your natural abilities and passions. Some people sadly dont have a passion so that void is never filled and a passion is something people have naturally from their childhood whereas a hobby can be chosen.

Of course you have restrictions like not being able to get a "working with children" approval needed now before working in such places but all of us have restriction of some or other to deal with. I'd like to think you can accept such boundaries and seek out what you can do not focus on what is difficult for you to achieve. That is one secret to a successful life and its universal, not restricted to ex inmates. So the transition from negative to positive is a huge one to accomplish for you in your situation. It will mean ignoring the critical, the judgemental, even ignoring yourself when your mind play games with you, doubting yourself. That's why its good you came here because you are talking to people with mental health troubles that have lived experience that can clearly see where you need guidance.  

Boredom and feelings of not belonging must cause ex inmates to feel lost, that can lead to the temptation of crime related activity or associating with people that are risky... well you know what I'm saying. It must be hard to feel you have to prove to others that you want a good honest life. I think you can put faith in yourself that you are trying and on your way to a better life. Just posting here tells me that. Thinking good is one thing, achieving objectives is another so putting into practice plans is another key to success. eg looking for work. Never give up but allow for your emotions and internal struggles to come and go, once gone then dust yourself off and try again  and again. This "allowance" of your mind to fall down is akin to a toddler learning to walk and eventually after many falls they do learn to - walk.

Can you value your new life by celebration? Meaning looking at life in a different way, the way towards appreciation for the finer things, the basics of life? Do you like yourself? Are you proud of yourself as a person - even posting here deserves your pride. It is far more an achievement than what you might think.

Thinking doesnt take money on how we view the world. I've got some links below. Enjoy and reply whenever you feel like it. Happy to chat, I'm here daily. I think we have things in common....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-peDvmjkF6s

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X30sWycWz4o

Centre bell rings every morn

On the other side of dawn

Every day like the last

The past is the past is the past...

TonyWK

[DefiantPanda]

I had a criminal record for 10 years... 10 long years. I know it's not the same as prison but it made my life difficult.