Don’t know how to keep going

[Hooperhp]

So I’m 23 and I feel like my entire life has fallen apart around me over the last year, I’ve gone from living out of home with a full time job,

were I have now lost my job of almost 3 years and have had to move back in with my parents who I have not the best relationship with, these last few weeks at home have been hell, my mums threatened to kick me out multiple times and has spent majority of the time comparing me to my brothers who are pretty much drop kicks

what I’m trying to say is that I’m scared that I don’t know how long I can keep this up, I’m not close enough to any family or friends to talk about this, everyone expects me to keep on smiling because I’m that friend

but every day it’s getting harder, I don’t know if I feel like ending it but there are these dark thoughts circling in my mind and I really need help in how I can even start to bring these subjects up to people

[Sophie_M]

Hey Hooperhp,

Welcome to our friendly online community, we are so glad you decided to join us here. We know it can be hard to write the first post, so thank you for having the courage. We are so sorry to hear that you are having such a difficult time at the moment and that you're struggling with these dark thoughts. Please know that you've come to a safe, non-judgemental space and our community is here to offer support, advice and conversation to help you find ways to talk about these thoughts and feelings with other people. 

There are a number of services available to support you. We would recommend that you get in contact with the Beyond Blue Support Service if you would like help to find some mental health support. They are available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport. 

Another helpful service is Kids Help Line. They are a confidential and anonymous, telephone and online counselling service specifically for young people aged 25 and under. You might also like to check out Headspace who offer a wide range of services including group programs which are a great opportunity to meet people. They also have a group chat on their webpage.

We would strongly urge that in overwhelming moments you get in touch with our friends at Lifeline (13 11 14) or the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467).

We hope that you will find some comfort here on the forums. Please feel free to keep reaching out here on your thread whenever you feel up to it. 

[monkey_magic]

Hi Hooperhp,

Life can change very quickly and become destabilizing. It's happening to so many people recently bcas of Covid-19.

Are you on any sort of government payment like job seeker? I ask this bcas you might be able to rent a room somewhere. I was able to afford $160/ room/week on government payments at a stage in my life and used to go to churches or charities to get food.

I needed to remove myself from a bad environment so took the plunge.

I don't like the way you're being treated at home at all.

Sophie has given you the numbers of some great services, it's important to have support on your side so I'd be utilizing whatever I can.
If you feel more comfortable writing there's here, and webchat. You've done well to open up here so you're on the right track.

All the best

[Tay100]

Hi Hooperhp

Welcome to the forums, we appreciate you opening up here.

You said you have no one to reach out in real life and talk to them- it may be good to follow up on Sophie_M's suggestions if this is the case. We can help you navigate these services too. This thread is a place where you can find a listening ear if you feel like you can't open because you are the 'happy friend' in real life. We can provide encouragement and general support. This could be supporting you as you try and communicate and reach out to your Mum or someone you trust to talk about how you really feel, for example.

Let us know how you go, if you like.

Tay100