Hi, welcome
When my daughters were 4 and 7yo I had to move away from their mother after a suicide attempt. That was 1996.
Fast track to 7 years ago my eldest daughter was getting married and I was about to walk her down the aisle. I wondered then who would have done that deed had I succeeded years earlier. Then she turned towards me and said "thanks dad for making it here". I knew what she meant. Now nearly every day we ring each other. She has complex mental illness issues and cant work as a teacher anymore. She needs me.
Your daughter needs you and if anything she is the one reason you should have in order to be in this world, even if you become estranged due to any reason. A part time dad in better than no dad at all.
So, my suggestion is-
- Hopefully you can afford $1500-$3000 for an old caravan. Buy it!! Take it to a caravan park and live in it. Under laws now you must move every 8 weeks or so, move it to another caravan park then back again etc. This will make you independent of leases and bonds and give you flexibility. I did this, I paid $1200 for a 3 metres caravan and had my kids over. They slept on the lowered dining table.
- After things have settled down save money and make your next decision. It could be to rent or in my case I bought a block of land and built my own cabin.
- Realise you'll be paying for child support if not a 50/50 custody situation. It will be 18% of your gross salary
Separating is hard but it can also open up positives. You will be free from obligations from your partner and you'll carve a different life. You can expand on hobbies like fishing and golf etc.
By far the best thing you can do is to drive yourself to have a friendly communication with your ex. My ex was impossible to remain friendly with but you might be able to explain to her that you and her can be friendly for the sake of your daughter. Its a fine line, but when dropping off your child a 10 minute chat will see her running around you both laughing, its so because she see you both talking.
I'm here daily and there are other champions here also and members, ready to talk further. Your little girl needs you forever, I hope you can value your presence to her every day. Life is tough in this period but in 12 months you'll look back and know you made the right choice to continue being the good father you are.
Reply anytime
TonyWK
