What I've learnt about dealing with depression

[demonblaster]

I didn't know I had Bipolar until I was 46 yrs and suffered wickedly deep depression ..often.My besty wasn't very supportive. She had a lot going for her and of course with depression and this beast of demons attacking my self worth and my god it's a master at that although I had awesome parents, it wasn't enough to pull me through the extreme Black times of teenage yrs.

I tried suicide 4 times and there was nearly another. I wanted out cause I couldn't see any light in this deep dark tunnel. You hear people say oh they just want attention....some may...but what they don't know is it takes a LOT of courage to go against a natural instinct to survive and try and end your life. 

So I decided to take on these demons after being diagnosed with BP and decided it's not going to control my life anymore and I'm starting to learn how to handle and avoid the dark deep downs. 
Majority of my lifes had a dull or dark cloud lingering. I'm usually a happy go lucky type but that's always been close by.

IT takes work...hard work but it's worth it. What's better, feeling terrible or being happy and cruisy. 

Basically one of the main things I've learnt is not to dwell and not to allow too much self pity, it drags ya down massively. 
Try to get sleep and what I've learnt is if I'm down is to try and think hard what exactly it is that's pulling me down and why. Once you know what it's easier to try and work on changing it. 

Dad said years ago you need confidence in life...took me years but I realised not that long ago that you do need to like/love yourself. It really does make a dif. 

Also it helps thinking and looking for positives too even though it seems there aren't any, ...they're there...just hard to find when we're feeling blaggghhh. 

A friend said recently no matter how awful you feel, it doesn't stay that way. It's true. Time thank god does help us through hard stuff. 

When I was younger I didn't know to try and help myself or how but it's working out mainly what's wrong and going from there. I try to be completely honest with myself and accept where I go wrong. Not always easy but helps in the process. 

Happy to answer any questions and hope this is of some help. 

I believe we all have the tools to fight with, it's just finding and learning how to use em. 

🙂 Go easy

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[demonblaster]

Thanks Rose,
Have you heard of desiderata, it doesn't necessarily help with depression or MI but it's kinda my bible, there's sooo much wisdome in it.

The verse I'd need and will read a few more times to fully understand the meanings.
Agree we all do have the strength within us.

A clinical Psychologist while back I was seeing when I said I'm gunna fight this, he held on to a tough piece of rope got me to pull on it while he resisted. WOW how true, but how I see it, there's no choice but to fight, if I don't I know I'll go back under and fear being there. Crying while I'm writing.
I CAN beat this and WILL but it's these times that it's sooo hard
I don't wanna live this way, no one does, not even sure now if it's BP (Bipolar) but what I have learnt recently is it's these times we really have to work harder on getting out of it.
I truly believe we have to work from inside ourselves and that we can beat this.
Though very interesting thread a chook used Alvardeya (Sp: I'll come back with thread name and right name for her fix). Indian origin. She's untold better and was in a bad way. I don't doubt meditation's good and proper diet too.

Thanks for verse and your time 🙂

How are you going

[demonblaster]

Soz Rose, was re reading posts, didn't answer your q bout meditation, do I.
Yes but not now so much, when my mania was full blast all over the shop and my brain was going faster than superman, there was & is enormous stress involved, a psych had suggested a type of meditation he used which helped and from that I worked out my own one which was imagining a metal rod going down the centre of my torso with branches reaching out towards the outer of my bod, I concentrated on the stress going out through these branches of my body, it helped, it's how I managed over the yrs to pull down the highs, which still are glorious but the minds very ON but not all over the shop when you're trying to sleep.

Trouble has always been for me to concentrate esp in mania, God lol but eventually got there.

Also learnt to try to focus on one or two projects, not 102 all at same time 🙂 Phew, relief there lol.

It's truly amazing what capabilities our brains have, and we're the drivers, just need to find the gears and work em I guess

[demonblaster]

In a way depression, & other conditions we go down with them. it seems the easier way cause It's too hard to try and tackle them, it seems easier to not fight or gain control but ultimatley it's not the easy option cause we're miserable.
It's hard as hell to be there, & hard as hell to fight to get out, but working on our thoughts, why & how to get out is hard too but it's gotta be the better option.

Yrs ago as a teen I had a revelation, said to a brother spontaneously along the lines of it's how we choose to react I guess or process these feelings.
Then on tv show once a nurse was sick as & said she realised it's not what happens in life that counts, it's how we deal with it. Kaboomb, truth.

Down to us how we choose to take it. Thought processes we need to I think change our attitudes, way of thinking and processing. Working on thinking more laterally, often there are choices, so by opening our minds take a while but again, worth the effort to reach our goal of peace content & happiness.

[demonblaster]

Soz repeating, it's recapping, tho I read back sometimes forget & some may just read the last couple of posts. Also reiterating or part of making a point. Maybe just wobbly marbles 🙂

I think often & deeply, have to, to work out how to slay these beasts.

Why: If we know it makes it easier to look for solutions.

Controlling our emotions. Very powerful, they rule us. We need to learn to control them.
Our attitudes, if we think a certain way then our emotional reactions flow from that thinking pattern.
When we're depressed I read we see the world differently, truth, take heart that wasn't necessarily meant that way or we conceive things in a negative way. Hard to see good with depression.

Understanding Depression: We know how it makes us feel. Why? Hard as but if we can figure out what's pulling us down, often multiple reasons, I think if we prioritise, heard of putting stuff into allocated boxes in the head.
Too much to tackle the lot in one go. Work mainly on the biggest downer/s to start. Other stuff yes but less or later on. Need to put energy into the biggies.

Sleep: Imperative. Lack of brings on stress, our bodies trying to lift up, get energy. If it's not adrenalin, something else that gives a boost but if it's not used for it's purposes fight, flight could be a cause of stress due to unused pump.
We're at our weakest when tired, mentally & physically.
Often depression comes with tiredness. Emotions harder to control.

Meditation seems to work for a lot with practice. Putting the mind in a peaceful,non stimulating,calm relaxing place. Distraction from overactive mind.

Excercise tiring oh yeah, great stress release, stimulating, releases endorphines (feel goods) brings on energy, suggest to go in slowly & build up in time. Too tiring otherwise and lose interest.

bbl