Walking Shoes - Walking and Other Exercise

[Guest_1055]

Hey to anyone reading this.

Last night I had an idea about starting a new thread about exercise especially walking. I am aware that walking is very beneficial for our mental, emotional and physical well being. And by actually doing it....well it can make a huge difference to how we cope with the storms that we face in life.

OK, I am not real good at disciplining myself to walk, and have to really push myself to do it. And sometimes it is even hard to leave this bedroom. Anyway I am not a beginner walker, as I have stuck to sort of a plan before. So I know that it does make me feel somewhat better. But I only stayed on the plan for a couple of months, then gave up.....for whatever reason. So here I am again wanting desperately to not fail this time.

So I guess this thread is for anyone that does walk, anyone that is struggling to walk because of depression or anxiety issues. And anyone else really......

I am unsure of the outcome of all this. But my ideas included: Sharing about things we have found out about exercise especially about walking. Writing down the reasons that one would chose to walk ( like something to help motivate). Being accountable in same way. Sharing about the places where we actually do walk, like the beach, gym, around the block, with the dog, out to the clothesline and back. And any other useful tips that could help others. So here we go......

[Eagle Ray]

Hello dear Croix,

Thank you for your kind words. I agree that pets can take our attention, and that can be helpful. I am still very confused about whether I am going to stay living here or go elsewhere, so I think that has affected my ability to orient towards a pet, especially if I move to a smaller unit with very limited space. I am thinking you may not have realised you are on the Shell’s thread here and thought you were on Indigo’s thread. It’s very easy to do when responding to so many people here as you so kindly do.

And hello dear Shell. I hope you are doing ok. It’s been lovely to read about your walks and experiences.

Take care and big hugs,

ER

[Shell4]

I felt better in a way reading about your morning sitting in the sun, noticing the insects. And 28 parrots showing an interest in your peach tree. My sister had some kind of netting on her peach or maybe they were apple trees. 

Thankyou for reminding me that sometimes that is what do. Our bodies protecting ourselves. For me when not pleasant emotions are too much like a giant really then creative or logic just doesn't work that good. Thankyou for the hug too , always like hugs 

[Shell4]

Hi Croix 👋

[Shell4]

Today I went out for a walk on the breakwall. I felt unmotivated to go. Sometimes that happens then when I get into the walk something shifts within me. My feet felt like they were dragging along at the beginning but that soon passed.

The 3 man tent was still there , the one I saw the other day. As I was walking I noticed clumps of green leaves with bright yellow flowers on them. These plants were growing in the sand bordering the breakwall path and even further down away from the wall. There was driftwood near the doggie beach again. I walked all the way along the wall path. Past lighthouse hill, which did gave the gates opened. The gates are opened on the weekends and for people on special cruises. I didn't venture up though. I kept walking at a slow place today. I noticed some people fishing off the side with their lines going into the port water. Once I got to the end I turned around and headed back. There was a cargo ship out their in the sea, I knew it was coming in because some tug boats were waiting near the port entrance for it. As I walked I could feel the cooling breeze on the back of my neck, just every now and then.

A family of four walked by, with a little girl walking at the back eating an icecream. They were all eating them. But she had much of it on her face. They were icecream cones most likely from the man in the blue icecream van. This van is parked here on lots of days. 

I am thankful that I walked on out there even though I found it a little challenging.

[Shell4]

I ended up walking again tonight with my son. We walked around the neighbourhood. He chatted mostly 

[Eagle Ray]

Dear Shell and wave to Croix,

I know completely what you mean how trying to use the creative or logical brain just doesn't work well when those unpleasant emotions get big. I think that's exactly when the mind dissociates and we feel spacey. I know what you mean too about how it can be hard to start a walk, but the more you are doing it, it gets easier.

The coastal walk sounds so lovely. I find myself seeing the things you describe, such as the driftwood on the beach and the lighthouse on the hill. I could easily imagine the little girl with the ice cream too. I'm glad that you got something from the walk even though it was challenging and that you had another walk tonight with your son.

I did go for another walk to the river today. I took my lunch there actually and ate it under a shelter next to the river. I lay on the bench there afterwards and almost fell asleep. Almost no one goes there so I almost always have that spot to myself. I listen to the sound of the water lapping the shore and the breeze in the trees. It is very calming there. On the way back I saw what I think was a very small blue butterfly 🦋

I hope tomorrow is a lovely day for you Shell and you too Croix if reading.

Hugs,

ER

[Shell4]

Thankyou for your kindness ER. Your words about going to the river ,having lunch and almost falling asleep while listening to the water lapping. And hearing the breeze in the leaves does sound extremely calming. Resting. 

And I am thinking that is what I did a lot of my early life ,just switch myself off somehow . And I still do at times , I call it the " far away place" . The spacey sensation as you call it. And I have had moments in my life wondering if I will ever wake up.

Anyway thankyou for taking me into your word right near the river there

[Eagle Ray]

Dear Shell, I really know what you mean about the "far away place". I feel like I spent my whole childhood and most of adulthood there. At school, while other kids seemed to know how to interact and be doing things, I would just be wandering around the corridors and playground by myself, completely lost. I could not follow most of what teachers said and often had no idea what a lesson was supposed to be about. I think I literally dissociated from birth, and I've been struggling to find my way back to being in the world ever since, and I'm 51 now! Did you feel something like that when you were at school?

I do have rare moments where I feel connected. It's very noticeable when it happens because it's so unusual for me. When I was resting by the river yesterday I actually was more grounded and in my body than usual. I think when I can return to my senses and more directly feel the environment around me, I do come more into my body and I'm actually less spacey. But other times, I'm still lost and spacey, even in places that sometimes help me. If I feel overwhelmed for any reason my brain almost always rapidly dissociates. I think there are ways back into the world and the body, but it's just harder to learn when there was never any help or support for what was going on in the past. I'm trying to work on these things now with my psychologist. I also find calling a helpline can help, because just talking to another human can help me to feel more real again and less spacey. It sort of pulls me out of it, especially if the other person is calming and understanding to talk with. I think pets can help in this way too. Do you find being with your cat helps?

Today is a very difficult day for me. However, I did get to the river again and lay down in the same spot. I couldn't get as calm as yesterday but I think it was still good for me. I could see where the tide has come up and subsided again on the shore. The river is really an estuary at this point, like a midway point between the ocean and river. I could hear Pacific Gulls calling nearby. Some people were fishing out in a dinghy. There was a cool breeze.

I hope that you may have had a good day and maybe a nice walk or time outside too. Take care and hugs, ER

[Shell4]

Hi ER, yes I believe it would have been good for you even the fresh air out there near the river. And you heard the gulls, you felt the cool breeze. Even if your senses didn't fully register somehow like a bit vague the fresh ocean air has some benefit. 

About my time in school... I think in primary school I was able to listen to the teachers well but I know I didn't interact much, I don't think I verbally spoke. I think I was a loner. I don't know if I was spacey or in the far away place. If I was I probably would have not been aware of it. Properly thought this is how life was. I have always found it challenging relating and interacting with other people. I use to hide when we went to nan and Grandad mostly. 

High school I was still much of a loner. I had 1 friend and she was very quiet too. We simply sat together doing school work. I do not remember talking much with her at all. Still I am thankful it was silent company. There were a few times I remember being overwhelmed but not understanding why and how to fix it. Like what do you do with these emotions. I had no one to talk with about them. I believe I learnt to stuff them all deep inside as this seemed to be the culture of my family. So my conclusion is I felt alone because there was no emotional connection. No one to tie my heart to. But I was not aware of all this then. It is only in the last 15 years that this had been bought out into the light. Speaking all this to my sister has helped as she felt similar to me within the family. Though she did have friends, quite a few of them. She is older then me. 

I am learning how to work through emotions. They all came out actually just after I got married. I had so much anger inside and it actually scared me the force of it. I cried so much. I think I just simply bottled everything inside me when I was a little girl. And it exploded out. Truly was overwhelming. 

The far away or spacey sensation comes when there is a huge amount of emotional turmoil of which there has been over the last few years and just last week. The circumstances have been like a feeling of my heart breaking. I would like to explain more about this but I am learning about it myself still.

I have had a long deep look into what I want in this life. And it is to be truly connected to my family, some members of my extended family. And other people who I care about. I want so much to be like this but it is scary and feels like I am in new territory. 

I feel a little connection to this kitty I have. She attopted us. The other kitty I had she was my only friend at one point in my life. She has passed away now. But I was emotionally attached to her. I got her when she was a kitten. She did help me because love came out of me for this little kitty. I think it helps us when we can give love out and she was a cute little kitty. She was good company too.

I am unsure whether any of what I shared helps you. I know I am rambling on. It was finding in challenging to get the the point.  

I am unsure about this but I think the not real thing has something to do with connecting to others like one heart connecting to another. Or even connecting in a more thoughts way or ideas. I also am aware the "not real" is affected by lack of not sleeping well. Not being properly nourished, lack of fresh air, sunshine As well as mental and emotional stuff. For me it seems all intertwined. 

Now I think I have gone on and on.

Hugs back to you ER

[Shell4]

I fear I have just gone on and on in a post I just finished writing to you ER. I am unsure about it all now. I am sorry if it is too much.