Three self-care things you did today!

[ecomama]

We can do it BBers, we can do self-care.

Sleepy21 pointed out research that shows self-care REALLY helps!

Please share what you do for self-care so we can get inspiration, ideas and motivation to do it too.

Best wishes
EM

[ecomama]

Hey sweet J* we're here with you.

I found taking a travel mug with tea, a flask of cold water and my "Kit" down to the water's edge in my car to sit, very good "time out" when the kids were around at home.

My "Kit" has:
* strong smelling hand cream
* mints
* tissues
* eye drops lol
* a book - Brene Brown is my fave literary company atm
* a journal - I just grab any one I see or some writing book
* a few pens!

Sometimes I've taken a Bible.

It doesn't really matter what I use out of my kit.

I have spots I park in at the waterfront. I sit in my car mostly. IDC if the air con is on the whole time either!

I've cried rivers just sitting at these spots, for so many years.
I don't care what I remember, I just talk or write. Scream and cry some more. Sometimes I sketch.

Sometimes I've just numbed out and looked out at the water and clouds. When I'm feeling okay I can see more, funny that. The birds, the waves, the seaweed. Just stuff.

I had my phone Counselling sessions down there too this year.

Tbh some times life just sucks.

Yeah I can't stand some sermons in some Churches, like we're here to be saved not to feel more persecuted...
My Church hasn't had that effect on me .... yet lol. But one sermon definitely triggered all the kids by talking about "Good Fathers"!
That went down well.... not.

The kids never went back after that.

Do you know what I Prayed for in my very worst times in life?
"God's Will to be done" and elaborated on that in regards to my situation.

I LOVE the "Full Restoration Prayer" and have the 3 pages behind my loo door lol!
Thru the God forsaken Courts whomever used the loo, I would say they HAD to read that Prayer whether they believed or not lol!

I find Oprah very inspirational in a spiritual way.

I feel our Prayers have been answered but in God's way, not mine.
It was better than I had imagined.

I Pray the same for you J* and your beautiful family.

Love EM

[Clues_Of_Blue]

Hi all,

I'm really impressed at the depth this thread is gaining, that self-care is taking a very real shape, not just drinking wine in a bubble bath (don't get me wrong, I'm all for drinking wine in a bubble bath). I'm seeing people in all stages of healing and love that recognising abuse, and letting yourself feel what you need to feel are being acknowledged as self-care, they absolutely are.

J*, sorry you're feeling down. I'm not a church-goer (I'm agnostic), but used to attend with Mum back in the day. I have certainly seen great differences between believers when they're at church and when they're not. On one hand, there is value in fellowship. On the other, many people get bogged down in dogma and seem to lose the ability to live their belief - finding balance is so important. If connecting with God happens better at home, do that. Or if the dude at the pulpit isn't inspiring you, maybe a different church/branch?

Okay, my self care for the day:

- Actually a quiet day at work, dawdled somewhat coming back from my breaks. But also got caught up on a bunch of stuff I've been trying to get to for weeks, so good balance of practical and chill.

- Stopped at the forest on the way home. Stood and hung out with a young wattle tree, taking in the rich colours of new branches, the smoothness of the slender trunk and the softness of the leaves. It was a good moment.

- Messaged my partner and asked him to have some coffee brewing when I got home. XD

Blue.

[Guest_1643]

u really hvae incredible insight blue thank u for sharing

the forrest... wow

coffee is everything these days.

I agree with u expressing our feelings, trusting them, standing by them and speaking up for them - all self-care.

[Jstar49]

Hi all,

Have had a good day with self care today.

Thanks for the suggestion EM, at the last moment I grabbed my bag and took it with me to the beach. Stopped on the way back for some yoga stretches and journalling. I was on my own which was nice. Holidays means I don't get much alone time. H is pulling boards off the house as we speak and D is watching tv. Which is nice, but a bit hard when you need a good cry! For some reason ppl get upset!

Dogma! Yes Blue, thats part of what gets me furious. Also theres a set to the lips and a tilt to the head- thou shalt be perfect! And if thou is not perfect, thou shalt experience massive guilt! And so I find my thoughts incredibly critical of others, as well as myself.

The chats afterwards were nice, and becos I haven't been for so long, nice to find I could still have conversations about something! I'm sure the ladies thought that I would be 'back' now tho so I felt a little bit like a fraud. Oh well. If they want to ask I'll have the conversation.

Now I'm going to brave the shops and find some more food which will make life easy for the next few days. I get used to the easy leftovers after Christmas. More please!

Cheers,

J*

[Guest_4643]

Stopped talking to people, even my cousins, who don't bother with me. Got 3 toxic people out of my life.

That's about it today.

[Clues_Of_Blue]

Hi all,

Thanks, Sleepy, your kind words have buoyed my mood. 🙂

J*, I understand, that's not the healthiest mental place to be in. Glad you had some good chats after though, and are open to discussing things with those with the presence of mind to ask. I hear ya about Chrissy leftovers running out. What's this business of being responsible for food again? Haha.

Tayla, removing toxic influences from your life is huge, you don't need a long list of things - give yourself credit for doing a big thing you needed to.

Okay, today's self-care:

- Slept in. Sadly I still don't feel rested, but I gave myself room to try.

- Hopped on the exercise bike whilst talking to a childhood friend on the phone (yep, that high-power self-care again, EM, hehe). Rode for a full hour and it felt good.

- Made a rare decision to order take-away so we could have a time out from cooking and got extra to pack up for work lunches to get me through until my next day off.

[Guest_4643]

Thank you Blue's. It's upsetting at first but it also helps. I don't need people who are toxic & don't bother with me & just put me down in my life.

[ecomama]

WOW BB self-carers I'm really impressed at everyone's connection and support for each other, what a loving group of people!

Better get my own list out of the way! omg... crazy times lol.
* ditched my well thought out schedule LOL! Note to self, who cares, ditch it if I need to or even WANT to...

* dealt with pressing, in my face, issues happening at our house. I always relish THESE types of issues now because I have a baseline that's ugly to compare it to lol!! This is an IRL opportunity for LEARNING for my kids that they need for their Life Skills moving forward. Me too as a parent I'm sure lol!

* SO I practiced GRATITUDE; in light of that baseline of where we were living in hell and where we are now moving "towards the light" lol excuse the religious pun! PUN intended... I am SO darned GRATEFUL!
Grateful to be living in a country where there IS BB support!! Grateful to have MH supports around even if they're not available at all times, thank goodness we use so little of them now PRAISE the Lord lol!
Hey even Jesus laughed.

Simply GRATEFUL.
My deaf friends would love to be able to listen to the music I can listen to.
I turn it up LOUD so they can feel the beat, not the same.

WE are here supporting each other. We may not be able to help you with the housework or physically be there with you or even swat these darned mozzies eating me alive atm help! ... but we DO CARE and are here for each other.

How fortunate are we. We have each other.

Love EM

[ecomama]

Hey SCers!

I was already AWAKE to do Yoga lol. I had a VERY long nap & woke early.

Blue, the self-care in this thread IS taking very real shape, this got me thinking...

It's like we're developing these areas to attend to and the actions to follow... I am SO PROUD of us all!!

Please add to my list, here's what I see. These areas are like bubbles that form a Venn diagram crossing over all over...

Food - yep we ALL need it! Getting it and eating it. Coffee can be a food or a treat lol, let's put it in BOTH sections, why not? We make our own rules after all lol.

Treats - in ANY form. From food to bubblebath to nail polish - yes men paint nails too hey Not_Batman - to anything that sparks joy in us. Treat yourself.

Feelings - attending to our feelings, sharing how we're feeling, being present & kind to ourselves thru whatever we're feeling. You're OK to be ok or to not be ok, it's ALL OK.
You are way more than enough. 💛

Boundaries - seeing a pattern here, hey Tay! Boundaries with family and friends. Rewinding back to US, asking ourselves how we feel when we're in this person's company or after. Ending the call, exiting the group, saying NO. Deciding on how WE will take some control over our time & life. Whether that person is only tolerable in small doses lol or no doses. Maintaining the contact to a level we can cope with.... whatever brings us more peace & happiness.

Time - spending time with ourselves. We need so much time to heal. Writing in a journal or here. Reading, viewing, researching. Doing nothing lol.

Nature - Looking at nature, Blue that pretty Wattle, our dog on the beach J*, the sunshine Sleepy! All that Vitamin D oh yeah! Our birds, the bush, the water, gardens.

Support - calling a helpline, seeing our GP, attending our group, writing on the forums, talking with our therapists. Giving support too as you all do so generously.

Connections - maintaining healthy relationships. Knowing the difference between healthy and unhealthy r/ships. Making new connections. Jumping into the abyss and having the courage, knowing it's paired with a vulnerable feeling! And talking with someone. You don't have to start a business with them lol... just a chat is great.

Actions - so much here already. Yoga, eating, reading, walking, cooking, gardening, observing, intentional stopping and pausing. Being!

Our surroundings - buying those nice sheets or pot plant. Changing things up at home. Moving stuff out. Making our space our own.

AWESOME peeps.

EMxxxx

[Jstar49]

Thats beautiful Em! You have a very organised mind!

Hey everyone,

Today I am:

*attending to my feelings (still a bit emotional after my revelation, more on my thread but it's just that basic self esteem stuff!)

*Not putting pressure on self for my trip in 2 days time. I'll go when I'm ready.

*enjoying catching up with all you guys before going out to the garage to do some screenprinting.

*Reminding myself that I am loved, and have special skills and abilities, and I do deserve to be alive. I'm here for a reason, and somehow I will get past this and one day I won't hurt so much.

Definitely grateful.

After all, Tayla, what you say is so true. And life is too short to worry about the ppl with whom we have no good connection. Gotta focus on the ppl we love, and who love us. In my experience, this is how it grows.

Cheers,

J*