Staying/Getting/Doing Well – Moving goalposts or fixed target?

[Paw Prints]

Hi, this is my first post, though I have been reading the forums for some weeks. I’m probably expressing myself badly when I say that I have found reading about other people’s journeys reassuring. Finding a community of people who “get it” even when they have a wide variety of experiences and lives lived is not something I thought I would ever find.

Though people talk about getting well & there is a section Staying Well, I’m curious as to what this actually means to other people and how they manage their expectations. I noticed some people refer to being well as ‘being like themselves before they got ill’, whilst others don’t express an exact aim.

My idea of being well has changed over the years. I was first diagnosed as an 8 year old child back in the late sixties. The doctors told Mum that the voices in my head & the sudden crying bouts were because I suffered from ‘nerves’ & I was given meds to calm me. Of course such things were not discussed back then & I was told not to talk about it to anyone, not my school friends nor siblings, just Mum. For decades after my idea of being well simply meant being able to hide my illness from others.

A number of events in my life caused my illness to worsen, until some years ago I became so ill I needed to be hospitalised for my own safety. This lead to my current diagnosis of Major Depression, Anxiety & PTSD. I’m no longer in that dark place, but each day is still a battle (though I can now believe in a future). For now only my siblings & one friend know about my illness, though some things they still don’t know.
So, what does ‘being well’ mean to me, it is ever moving goalposts. If you had asked me 5 years ago would I be as well as I am now I would have thought it impossible as I couldn’t envision a future. If you had asked me last week (during one of my down periods) I would have said my progress was all an illusion & I was fooling myself that things can get better.
For now my idea of being well is being able to believe that things can change for the better, that I will one day be able to manage the everyday things like housework, caring for myself & caring for my dog & maybe, just maybe I will even be able to enjoy myself.

Paw Prints
**I took the tip to give myself time to write my post by writing on a word doc & then paste it.

[Paw Prints]

Hello ER & Croix,

Ahh... that explains why it wasn't wearing a tuxedo as expected of every well dressed penguin.   It ambled off towards the coast this morning, so I suspect it is intending to hitch a ride on one of the passing whales back to you.

ER that sounds like very sensible language to me, I'm sure she is a fluffy wuffy kitty cat.  Actually that type of nonsense talk, especially in a sing song voice, is actually shown to be beneficial mood wise to both the talker & the listener.  It is why it works with both human babies & animals in settling them down. 

My visit to my sister is off as she has come down with shingles & spent hours in hospital today.

Stay warm

Hugs

Paws

[Eagle Ray]

Dear Paws and Croix,

Your poor sister getting shingles. Not what she needed right now. But I’m glad she was able to be cared for in the hospital. I imagine they have given her some antiviral meds and treatment advice for being more comfortable at home. I wonder if distractions such as watching tv or listening to audiobooks may help with any discomfort from the rash. I hope it passes quickly.

Yes, Croix, I think it must be kitty who is meowing words into my ear when she climbs onto my pillow while I’m napping, thus leading me to nonsense language and limericks. She is the author of my silliness. And Paws you are quite right about that nonsense language with babies and animals being settling. My friend’s baby is definitely talking at the moment in what sounds like nonsense sounds to us but I’m sure makes complete sense from her perspective. She loves to point at the moment and declare “da” at whatever she is pointing at. She will have quite a discussion in her own sound language too. She is absolutely delightful.

I had severe pains last night that could be gallstones so I’m off for an ultrasound tomorrow morning. It’s eased off somewhat now but I do feel a bit unwell which I think is not uncommon with gallstones. Will be glad to know what the ultrasound says. It’s always good to know what’s going on.

I have a vision of an inebriated kiwi lolling about as it tries to stay balanced on the back of a whale on the way back to the iceberg. For some reason I also have a vision of a kiwi with a little brown rucksack heading off on a journey. That is how my stream of consciousness goes. It would make a nice story and illustration for a children’s book - a little kiwi off on a journey/adventure.

Well I must now go and remove a cat from my pillow so I can go to bed. No wonder I get cat hairs up my nose.

May you both sleep well 😴

Hugs,

ER

[Paw Prints]

Hello ER,

Oh lass how are you today you poor thing?   I've never had gallstones, but I understand they are extremely painful.  I'm keeping everything crossed that you can have them dissolved/destroyed very soon.

I love the image of a kiwi with a little rucksack heading off on a journey.  You do have a lovely whimsical imagination.  Meanwhile back on the serious subject 🤣  I think the inebriated kiwi would manage quite well on the rolling back of a whale, it would stagger to the left as the whale rolled to the right & then they both reverse & it would be all good.  

I find it fascinating how little children have their own language before they learn the language being used about them.  Especially how they seem to understand what another child is saying to them & can chatter away quite happily.  

My heated foot warmer arrived on Monday, but last evening was the first time I used it.  The "how to use" manual is a quite extensive list of ways it can injure the user & what not to do with it.  I was almost convinced it wasn't worth the risk using it. 🤔  However I did & it does keep my feet comfortably cosy. 

Sending you get well hugs

Paws

[Eagle Ray]

Hello Paws,

Alas, I did not make it to the ultrasound this morning because an accident on the freeway significantly held up traffic. I’ve had to reschedule for tomorrow morning but was already heading south on my way home from the city today. So I’m in a caravan park tonight south of the city (in a large town that’s really like a city itself now) where I will get ultrasounded tomorrow at a close-by clinic that had a spot available. The pain has much subsided but it will be good to still check it out I think.

I think you are right about the kiwi who will actually be quite relaxed and will just go with the flow on top of the whale. It would probably be quite artistic to watch actually, like going to the ballet with all that balancing and flowing movement.

I’m glad the foot warmer is doing a good job. I feel like almost everything has a lot of warnings on it these days. Thinking about risk, I was born just early enough that I remember a number of things that used to happen that are not allowed now, such as my brother and I as young children riding in the back of a family friend’s ute on a highway with no form of restraint. It would be illegal now. I’m not sure even pets are allowed to be now without some kind of restraint. Most likely a good thing to keep them from flying or jumping out. But I do remember the exhilaration of being on the freeway in the open air! 

It’s a little nippy here tonight. There are raucous swamp noises outside that I think might be a mix of insects and frogs. I’m glad you have cosy feet and hope all the rest of you is cosy too (having warm feet definitely helps!).

Hugs,

ER

[Paw Prints]

Hello ER,

I hope the ultrasound went ok today & that you are at last home & snug.  Do you have a long wait to get into your gp to get the results?

You are right, everything has so many warnings these days.  I think it is because people here have taken on the American trait of suing others even if it is something stupid they themselves did.   I shake my head at the fact they need to say not to put the foot warmer in the washing machine, to me that would be blindingly obvious, the electric cord should be a major give away.   

I too remember the risky things we used to do.  Though I've never ridden in the back of a ute except across paddocks dropping of feed.   I do remember one trip in my brothers ute where there were four adults across the font bench seat, my little sister on mum's lap & me squashed in the footwell.  It is no wonder the road tolls used to be so high.

More healing hugs

Paws

[Eagle Ray]

Thank you Paws. Yes, the ultrasound went well and I’m home now. They said the results should be ready Monday. The doctor who ordered it is in the city and he said he’d let me know the results but I’ll follow it up if I don’t hear anything.

Believe it or not I have my washing machine on at this late hour. I thought if things are washed already I can hang them out first thing in morning.

This morning before the ultrasound I went to a lake near the caravan park. There were many beautiful birds. I had my telephoto lens with me. A whistling kite was circling overhead. I saw a pair of red-capped parrots who are lovely, gentle parrots. I saw a nankeen night heron, sacred kingfisher, grey fantail, white-faced heron, pelicans, cormorants, ducks etc. There was another bird photographer down there and it was nice to have a chat about the birds we’d seen. It’s a beautiful spot.

I’m just imagining little you squashed in the footwell of the ute. Yes, cramming as many people into a car as possible including babies and children just used to be what people did. Today on the highway I actually saw a dog on the back of a ute, unrestrained. I couldn’t help feeling concerned as I was going at the 110 km/h speed limit and the vehicle cruised past me. I felt worried about the dog’s safety at that speed. The largish dog, something like a bull mastiff, was standing up with front paws on the cab of the vehicle. He or she obviously has good balance and is experienced at riding in a ute tray. But it did make me feel nervous about what would happen if the ute braked suddenly.

Well my washing just finished and it’s off to bed for me now. I’m used to having a cat climbing onto my pillow and purring away. I miss the little fluff bucket. I hope you have a lovely day tomorrow Paws.

Hugs,

ER

[Paw Prints]

Hello ER,

I hope your pain has mostly eased or that it is gone.  I'll keep everything crossed that it has self resolved & the doctor gives you an all clear.

How wonderful to have seen such a variety of birds in one place, lucky you.  I had to google "nankeen night heron" I've never heard of such a bird, probably because we don't seem to get herons hereabouts.  I hope you managed to get some good pics of them, especially the kite.  I do love our birds of prey.

I'm pretty sure it is law in all states that animals carried on utes/trays must be safely restrained.  The same with animals carried inside must not interfere or distract the driver. 

I've done washing at ridiculous times too.  I have a wonderful locally made clothes airer that can fit heaps on it & it gets used all the time.  For something so mundane it is beautifully made & manages to allow good air flow even when fully loaded.  The local farm supply/hardware store often stocks things made by locals which I like to support when I can.  The proceeds from the airer went to the local Men's Shed.

Oh has kitty gone home?  You will miss her.  Now you have the dsp do you think you might get a furry friend, either fostering or to keep?

I've had some lovely rain last night, which was followed up with showers today.  No run off yet to fill the dams or creeks, but every bit helps.  

Hugs

Paws

[Eagle Ray]

Thank you so much Paws. Things are good so far today pain-wise. Yesterday morning I had about four hours of strong abdominal cramping but it then started to ease. The pain is acting like gallstones from what I’ve read, but hoping they might be minor and not require surgery if that is what it is.

It is a beautiful sunny day here this morning. I’m putting through another load of washing as there are days of rain ahead. I love that you were able to buy the locally made clothes airer that fits heaps on it. I suspect it’s much better than many you can buy from the shops. And it’s lovely to support the local Men’s Shed too. One of the things I like about living out of the city is the personalised nature of locally made products that are often seen in smaller towns.

The Nankeen Night Heron is one of my favourite birds. The first time I saw one I thought, “What is that?!” It didn’t even occur to me it could be a heron as they are much more stocky and less delicate in form than other herons. They have so much character. The way they stand they almost look like a sort of penguin. Perhaps we can send a bunch of them to Croix’s iceberg 😂

Yes, I’m pretty sure the dog riding unrestrained in the back of the ute was illegal. If it was me, I’d much prefer the dog to be in the cab with me. But, yes, it’s important for the dogs not to cause distraction to the driver as well. Years ago I used to look after my landlords’ American Staffy Cross when they went away. If she was sitting with me in the car she knew the way to the park. If it looked like I wasn’t going in that direction she would put a paw on my arm or the steering wheel to say, hey, I want to go that way. It was only gentle so not a problem but just funny that she was trying to guide the car in the direction she wanted to go.

With kitty, I was petsitting at her place so it’s me who has actually gone home. I do miss her but can recall her lovely presence which is comforting. I have seriously thought about a pet now and actually had fallen in love with an older English Staffy I saw online but he’s on hold at the moment which I think means someone else is planning to adopt him. He looks like a beautiful soul with a happy nature. I’m in two minds as I also like petsitting which gives me the option to move around a bit, but there is something special about having your own pet.

I’ve been reading about the Antarctic blast coming to eastern Australia. I hope you manage to keep warm in the spell of colder weather. I would love to see the snowfalls predicted over there. We only usually get snow on Bluff Knoll in the Stirling Ranges, though it did snow in the town of Manjimup some years ago. I remember a news story on it and seeing emus with snow on their backs!

Stay warm and cosy and I hope you have a lovely day.

Hugs,

ER

[Paw Prints]

Hello ER,

Oh lass I'm sorry to read you are still in so much pain.  I will keep everything crossed they are just small ones that can be treated without surgery.  

From the pictures of the Nankeen I saw online it is an oddly shaped bird & missing the long neck I associate with herons.  From my field guide they are supposedly found here in Victoria too, but I've never seen one.   They do look like they would go well as sentries around the edges of Croix's iceberg, preventing the inebriated kiwis from falling off.   Though I think they might need foot warmers to keep their claws from sticking to the ice.

I'm not quite high enough to get snow here.  When it does snow on the nearby hills I usually get sleet.  It is very chilly today & I must confess I stayed in bed for most of the day simply because it was so snug & warm.  When I did get up I checked the temp indoors & it was a balmy 🙄😁 6 degrees.  No wonder bed seemed to be the best place.  

How gorgeous the Staffy trying to be a co-driver & dropping a very unsubtle hint.  I am very biased, but I do think when kind hearted people get a pet they not only enrich their own life, but the life of their pet as well.  Hmmm & there I was saying the Staffy was unsubtle, I'm no better with my "yes get a pet" thoughts.

Stay warm 

Hugs

Paws

[Eagle Ray]

Dear Paws,

Yes, the Nankeen Night Herons do look like they would be good sentries to prevent kiwis falling off the iceberg. They stand quite upright. But I agree, their feet are not adapted to the ice like those of penguins. I will set about knitting some foot warmers plus cosy jackets they can wear. Maybe some cute little beanies too. I imagine the kiwis just require some gentle rolling away from the edge if they veer to near to it.

I don’t blame you at all for staying under the covers when the indoor temperature is 6 degrees during the day. The air has a chill in it here but it’s still sunny this morning with rain forecast later. But I don’t think we are going to get anywhere near the cold you are experiencing. I hope you have some heating that helps.

I do think a pet could be very beneficial. I’m very conscious of wanting to be able to give them the best life too. I have days where I’m really very unwell. The actions of the liver disease sometimes leave me very weak and barely functional, and that can come on quite suddenly after a period of feeling better. So I do worry about my capacity to care well for a pet and the long term commitment relative to my health. When petsitting it is temporary and feels very manageable. But I can feel overwhelmed if feeling responsible for the life of another when I’m struggling myself. Yet I also know that having a pet can have many positive effects on mental and physical health, and I therefore may see an improvement where I’m much more able to care well for a pet.

The lovely staffy boy I saw online is 8 years old and described as low energy, which probably suits me with my reduced energy capacity. He’s an English Staffy and I’ve lived with a couple of English Staffies before, as well as the above mentioned American Staffy X. They are truly the most loving dogs and profoundly connected to their people. They have so much enthusiasm for life and are a joy to be around. They can be quite rambunctious which can be both fun and exhausting (but mostly fun). But this older staffy will be at a slower pace of life. He’s still on hold so will see if he is adopted.

I also like the idea of being able to travel about at times, but if I have a dog I will need to rethink that a bit. There are places such as certain caravan parks where you can bring a pet. A dog is family to me so I don’t really want to leave them behind if I go somewhere. My neighbour has a lovely English Staffy Cross and I think she would be ok looking after a dog for short periods if I had to travel without a dog (e.g. going to city for medical reasons). Only yesterday I saw her walking a large dog that is probably a friend’s dog she’s looking after at the moment.

Sorry, just wrote a lot about dogs! 🐶 Thinking as I write. Yesterday I walked by a river where a Border Collie was swimming out to a mooring buoy and trying to retrieve it 😂 She then ran out of the water to say hello to me and I got a bit wet 🤣 I think you were planning to get a Field Spaniel next year? They look like absolutely lovely dogs 🥰

Warm Hugs,

ER