Staying/Getting/Doing Well – Moving goalposts or fixed target?

[Paw Prints]

Hi, this is my first post, though I have been reading the forums for some weeks. I’m probably expressing myself badly when I say that I have found reading about other people’s journeys reassuring. Finding a community of people who “get it” even when they have a wide variety of experiences and lives lived is not something I thought I would ever find.

Though people talk about getting well & there is a section Staying Well, I’m curious as to what this actually means to other people and how they manage their expectations. I noticed some people refer to being well as ‘being like themselves before they got ill’, whilst others don’t express an exact aim.

My idea of being well has changed over the years. I was first diagnosed as an 8 year old child back in the late sixties. The doctors told Mum that the voices in my head & the sudden crying bouts were because I suffered from ‘nerves’ & I was given meds to calm me. Of course such things were not discussed back then & I was told not to talk about it to anyone, not my school friends nor siblings, just Mum. For decades after my idea of being well simply meant being able to hide my illness from others.

A number of events in my life caused my illness to worsen, until some years ago I became so ill I needed to be hospitalised for my own safety. This lead to my current diagnosis of Major Depression, Anxiety & PTSD. I’m no longer in that dark place, but each day is still a battle (though I can now believe in a future). For now only my siblings & one friend know about my illness, though some things they still don’t know.
So, what does ‘being well’ mean to me, it is ever moving goalposts. If you had asked me 5 years ago would I be as well as I am now I would have thought it impossible as I couldn’t envision a future. If you had asked me last week (during one of my down periods) I would have said my progress was all an illusion & I was fooling myself that things can get better.
For now my idea of being well is being able to believe that things can change for the better, that I will one day be able to manage the everyday things like housework, caring for myself & caring for my dog & maybe, just maybe I will even be able to enjoy myself.

Paw Prints
**I took the tip to give myself time to write my post by writing on a word doc & then paste it.

[Paw Prints]

Yaaay Finally!!! I have an appointment to get my jab... the place is over an hour away, but I still couldn't get into anywhere closer... so Tuesday morning next week it is...

So the mouse saga continues... yesterday evening I put fresh peanut butter in the trap & set it back in the place in the lounge where I caught the other mice... nothing.. the trap has remained empty...

It seems to me that it is more than impossible that I have caught them all in one night... one or more of the little blighters must be lurking somewhere... so as another variant of trap arrived in the mail I have just set that one up in the dining alcove... & I think I will move the one in the lounge to my room...

I refuse to be outsmarted by a mouse (or mice)

Paws

PS - Woofa is no help... he keeps dashing to different points as though he has heard one... but then he just walks away without any of the barking he was doing last week...

[Ggrand]

Hello Paws, and everyone...🤗..

Im pleased to hear that your getting your first jab next Tuesday...Please be very careful until then...I have a sore arm...I told my Dr. I didn’t even feel her putting the vaccine into my arm...she said oh thank you...but I’m sorry you might feel it tomorrow and 😂😂I am....but it’s not too bad.,

I think our mouse plague has travelled to your area...I’m sorry that you are having trouble with them....I feel pretty bad because the trap I made killed them...If I had let them go..they would have come back....One night I took of for a ride and the road was alive with hundreds maybe thousands of mice running across it....I hope so much that you can catch them and be mouse free...

Haha my furs used to watch the mice run around..the only time they chased them was when they were caught pinching their food...dogs are such funny and impossible to ever understand there way of thinking sometimes....

How are you feeling lovely Paws...you reach out to so many here...so I thought I would ask you RUOK?..

Hugs dear friend...🤗.

Grandy..

[Paw Prints]

Hello Grandy,

No thankfully!!! I haven't got your mouse plague here... I couldn't cope with that many... I tend to leave the back door open in the day & I think some have come in escaping the wet...

I don't think you should feel bad about using your trap... with that number of mice you really had no other option... one of the traps I bought works like the trap you made... it hasn't arrived yet, but I want it in case I have problems with them coming back... it is a much kinder option than using bait.

I love the image of your furs just laying about watching the mice run rampant... I had a Labrador like that... but he was bone lazy... I'm surprised your two don't chase them... I wonder why.

Thank you for asking lass... yes I'm ok... I seem to have got past the dark place I was in a few weeks ago... yay...

All the covid restrictions don't really affect me much as I'm usually at home alone... but I am finding it hard that I haven't been able to visit an elderly relative (who is very dear to me) since all this started... she is 91 & though we talk regularly on the phone it's not the same as giving her a hug...

Hugs

Paws

[demonblaster]

Hi there our dear friend Pawsy 🐾 Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 and readers ☺

Wow loved hearing you've pulled out of that dark place. Absolutely fantastic. I try and remember what I did to lift up at times but nada 😄

Wow the little blighters are giving you a bit of a challenge there Pawsy. So they like Peanut butter aye I always think of cheese. They're cute little things but I understand they need to be choofed. Hope the new teap works it sounds humane is it?

Grandy love that would have been quite something seeing them all in those proportions. You're very sweet not wanting to kill them.

Pawsy good on you organising your first jab darl. I've had both and same as Grandy the arm hurt a few days just on touch not achy. That was all I think. I've had both. Geeps long drive poor thing.

We might be having lockdown soon as it's come closer blow it and same doesn't really bother us.

Hope you're managing to keep warm dear Pawsy and sleeping better.

Love to Woofa and yourself good lady 🤗☺🐾⚘🕊

[Paw Prints]

Hello Deebi, Grandy, wave to all,

Deebi do be careful if you go out... it seems covid is starting to run rampant in NSW & it is in areas long before the they are locked down... the response there does seem to be a shambles.

Yes the trap is a humane one... I've been releasing them near the big shed (barn)... lots of places there for them.... after the success catching them the first night, the trap was empty the next two nights... yesterday when I checked it I saw the little blighters had eaten all the peanut butter without tripping the trap... grrrr... so I was more careful how I placed it last night & managed to catch two at once... yayyy....

I've actually ordered two more of these traps (the other type of trap still hasn't caught anything)... I want to be able to have them set in different rooms over the next few weeks... I like to leave traps out for at least a month after a mouse was last caught... just to be sure there aren't any stragglers lurking.

Woofa has been his usual brave self... even though the mice were safely in the trap he still stayed at least a metre away from them...

Yet more rain today... I do love winter, but this one seems to be wetter than usual... just a few lovely mild sunny winter days would be nice... but the forecast is just more of the wet stuff as it just clips the coast... I might need to buy the boots with spikes mountaineers use, so I can get outside & walk about without slip sliding away with the soft clay underfoot... it is so waterlogged.

Stay warm

Hugs

Paws

[Ggrand]

Hello Paws, Deebi.....and everyone..🤗..

This is the first time my little village has been in lockdown...COVID is spreading in the next town from my work....I don’t mind staying at home..I think I do that better then most people 😂😂..

My fur girls will bark and chase cats, rabbits, kangaroos, cows, but mice for some reason they just watched them....It’s strange how a lot of dogs are scared of creatures that are smaller then them....but very feisty with bigger animals....I haven’t seen a mouse around here now for a couple of months...yayyy...

I had what I would call a perfect winter’s sunny day...it was so relaxing to sit in the sun while I brushed my fur girls...I hope the weather improves for you soon Paws....I do like winter, something about being snuggled up in my soft warm doona..makes me feel comfy...with one fur baby each side..

Hope everyone reading here has a great sleep tonight..

Fur and human hugs everyone..🤗🤗🧸

Grandy..

[demonblaster]

Heyaz Paws 🐾 Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 and everyone ☺

Yes being careful thanks darl we have from day dot. No one likes the masks but of course a necessity. We've been with them quite a while now well few wks again.

Boomer the traps are humane really liking that.

There's a halarious mouse trap video on You tube I think. You see the trap ...the mouse...then clank....I think the cheese is gone...musics great to it...then bursts into a loud triumphant sound...and the mouse is on it's back weight lifting the top of the trap...again musics with each lift...Very funny 😂. Sounds like you're outsmarting the wee blighters well done. Good thinking waiting a mth or so.

Haha loven big tough Woofa. Interesting them including yours Grandy not going for them and elephants fear mice too apparently. Wonder if it's the speed. Wow wish I could bolt that fast 😄 tho think I could for choccy 🍫

I too like winter rugging up and blankies but not how cold you girls suffer blaghh you'd love here not too bad at all.

I wouldn't worry about the expense for spike boots 😅 Pawsy it's cheaper to just get stilts 😆. Yukko sounds like a big mess. Hard walking..be careful darl.

Been wondering how did you go with the housework you did very well getting some done in very dark times. Ok if you haven't got any further because it can be a goal that you tackle in baby steps. I find the sense of achievement gives a good buzz doing hards like that.

If we allow ourselves to feel stress over jobbies it's much harder to push through and I think it turns to deeper depression.

If we can learn to use the energy attached to stress in our favour by thinking how can I get through this. Which opens our minds to further thought which is what we need

We then can use the energy physically and mentally to our advantage. I'm going to work on that.

I love the sunny days without the horrid heat that wipes you out. I've put an order in for some sun to go your way Pawsy love and for you dear Grandy I've ordered some more of those gorgeous veranda days 🌞

Love to you both dear friends 🤗🐾👩‍❤️‍👩💗👀🤝

[ecomama]

Hello all

This time last year I had a fixed target. Achieved it too, was doing really well by my standards compared to where I was at.

Now things are weird. Working from home (and all the kids learning from home) has been very difficult this time around. Not the kids, they're awesome.

After another shocking work meeting on Friday, being told by my psych friend that I had a PTSD reaction... my Counsellor telling me I need to be kind to myself then leaving the country....

IDK... I'm contacting my Union rep tomorrow.
I've done my best to set up clear boundaries and even sorted it all FOR my bosses yet the disrespect and inhumane demands have me spent.

How can I "stay well" or even "be well" if all the stuff at work is rhetoric and NOT actual.
I can't.

I made very strong decisions and followed through with actions over the weekend.

I realised I'm a workaholic (which bosses love lol) but it's dangerous for me. No, I'm not telling my bosses.

Soon I hope the issues will be clarified, understood & settled.
I feel bitterly disappointed I have to involve my Union rep at all.

So as we continue through a hard lock down, 7 weeks now and more restriction yesterday, it's very important that I get this sorted.

I really CRAVE the virtues I hold dear, trust, respect, kindness and understanding.
All disappeared completely in one fell swoop on Friday.
I actually felt heartbroken on the weekend. I was betrayed.

LOTS to think about. Enact. DO to collect evidence should this escalate.

My target now is to stay safe and keep my sanity (if I'm sane after all lol).

Love EM

[Paw Prints]

Hello Em,

Lass you sound very sane to me... and very strong. You're right that you shouldn't have to fight to have reasonable boundaries & workloads... that you haven't been listened to when you have raised the matter is appallingly bad leadership/behaviour from your bosses.

Getting your union rep involved is a good idea... I do get the impression though, that with your work ethic you might struggle with strictly limiting what you do & how much time/effort you put in... lass I think it will be important that you don't give the others an even an inch or they will again take a mile & dump everything on you.

Remind yourself you have every right to a healthy work life balance... you also have every right to be treated respectfully by those in your workplace... if your insisting on this gets a few noses out of joint or causes a few temper tantrums to be thrown... well that's their problem not yours... Lass you are setting a great example for your kids with this...

Hugs

Paws

[Paw Prints]

Hello Deebi, Grandy, wave to everyone,

Deebi if I was going to move home for a change of climate I might chase Mr Walrus (alias Croixy) off his iceberg as the artic would suit me perfectly... I sleep so much better when my room is cold.

I am trying to do housework one thing at a time... today I did a load of washing & went to the general store to get milk... I had also bought some indoor plants online & they finally arrived today... so I've given them a drink & I'm aiming to pot them up on Wednesday (Jab day tomorrow)... just small steps.

Hugs

Paws