some help please

[1963]

Hi all,

I'm completing the Moodgym program online & was after help with an exercise.

Moodgym has asked me to take note of an event that was associated with anger or distress. 

"Write down the event, your interpretation of it, your emotions and your consequent behaviour. Then survey some other people (not just your closest buddies) ask them their interpretations of the event and how they would react. Ask them, for example, to respond as if the event had happened to them, to imagine they were in your shoes. Are the reactions all the same? Does this modify your interpretation of the event?"

That's what I'm asking for, some responses from other people please.

My event was a re-occuring one; most weeknights when I get home my partner talks to me impersonally [eg; just asks about bills or if I can run an errand, etc.], the ratio of positive interaction to impersonal or negative interaction is out of whack.

She knows recently I've had a bad run with depression and this night she didn't ask how my day was at all & actually got stuck into me about some financial things that she thought I'd neglected. That's the event.

I felt down but also a bit angry & upset. Like, how can she just concentrate on stuff that & not even ask how I'm going, considering all the circumstances. We had talked about this before, how she can seem so impersonal, & even though we'd had arguments in the past about it, I felt so upset that I decided to bring it up, so that was my consequent behaviour.

It didn't go well, she felt under threat & started attacking me, & I ended up feeling down & alone that night.

So, can I have some responses please, to help with the Moodgym exercise; imagine you were in my shoes; what would be your interpretation of the event, how would you have reacted? 

Thanking you in advance 🙂

[geoff]

dear 1963, because you are suffering from anxiety and depression, I don't believe her tact was appropriate at all.

You don't or shouldn't attack the black dog that unfortunately someone has, it's only making this illness dig it's heels in.

It also causes a rift in the relationship, which is worsened by her physical violence.

Does your partner work at all, and why can't she pay the bills, most can be done online, or by phone.

I am also questioning the state of this relationship as it appears as though she is 'kicking you while you're down'.

What's her point of being so insensitive, and are there any intentions in doing so. Geoff.

[1963]

Thanks for replying Geoff, I hope some other people might too so I get different viewpoints of the same situation.

[vip]

Hi 1963 I have never heard of moody gym. I did some marriage counselling with my husband and I found this really helped. Having that 3rd independant person there to give there opinion on what was going on with my depression was beneficial. And when my husband totally didnt get my depression she explained it to him. I think talking about these problems this way stops a lot of arguments and confrontations how would you both feel about giving this idea a go? I know its not everyones cup of tea but its worth a try.