Not sure what my next step should be?

[positivity]

Hi guys,

for the past 1.5-2years I have suffered with very low mood, lack of enjoyment of activities & hobbies, I work and then study full time, waking up in the mornings will be the death of me, I could liturslly stay in bed and sleep all day and that exactly what I do on the weekend. On the weekend I could sleep in till about 11am, even though the night before I could fall asleep at 9pm. I would wake up at 11am do something for a few hours and then go back to bed because I'm exhausted.

i have reserved myself from friends, family and my partner. I'm very anxious, stressed and very unhappy. I have started to develop anxiety type symptoms and it seems to be increasing, last week at work I ended up crying infront of patients ( I work as a medical receptionist) and I ended crying myself into a panic attack infront of the doctors, it took myself a long time to calm down. I have never experience this type of episode in my life. I also have developed my hand shaking or twitching vigorsly- when this happens I don't consciously know I'm doing this to my hands or fingers. I only know about it when my partner tells me to stop it or I need to relax.

ive gone and seen my doctors about my issues and they send me to get my bloods checked, everything comes back normal. They then suggest more exercise and a healthy diet. I'm currently studying to be a dietician and practise what I preach, I used to exercise 5-7days a week, currently not so much as it drains the life of me these days. I have taken the doctors general advice, but nothing improved i feel my symptoms are increasing.

I feel like I'm screaming for help and everyones just seems to be sending me for blood tests which come back normal. I'm feel very hopeless, unhappy and I have noticed I'm crying everyday and I prefer to cry by myself as I don't want to burden anyone.

I just don't really know what to do? I know I need to start seeking help, but it hard to when everyone seems to not be taking it seriously. I feel abit worried It's gonna get A lot more severe for me.

ugh just feeling really sad, lonely and stuck.

[blondguy]

Hello Positivity

Welcome to the forums and good on you for having the courage to post!

You are really in a dark place right now positive....You are an intelligent and well articulated person from what I can see. I am sorry that you have been crying in front of patients...that is a sign you are really fragile which may be a sign of anxiety or mild depression....maybe. I have had depression since 1996 and I remember the crying.

Can I ask you what the anxiety type symptoms were?

There are many kind people on the forums that can be here for you. Many of us have had the same awful feelings...If you can let us know what those symptoms feel like we will be able to help you a lot more 🙂

I really hope you can get back to me. You are more than welcome to post back as many times as you wish

My kindest thoughts and empathy for what you are going through

Paulx

[positivity]

Thank you for your reply.

i stress out of the smallest things, things that can be easily fixed. Not consciously my hand will shake (like as if I'm trying to shake off water from my hands) or my fingers will start to spasm or twitch back and forth, when I do that multiple times a day for x amount of time, my bones in my fingers are starting to feel very sore.

Soketimes I find it very hard to remember to breathe and I have to keep tell myself to breathe count to 10 slowly, cause if I start up in a panic state. I will never do this infront of people as I've always been brought up or taught try not to show people personal weakness.

so I'm suffering with it alone, however in the passed 6 months it escalated, I now do everything I have said above in public, which to me is very embarrassing as I can't control it. When I feel I'm in a stressed, panic state people are like just relax or stop it. This angers me because I can't just recover or stop by someone telling me to relax or stop.

my partner has recorded me doing the physical symptoms and show his own psychiatrist, the psychiatrist did say to him that it my brain not being able to handle the overloading amount of stress it's being given so it released by phsically shaking of twitches in my hands.

Mom a little too afraid of going to see a doctor once again about my issues cause I'm not going again for one more blood test, cause it not helping me. So I feel abit stuck, what was your process in first dealing with anxiety if I may ask?

[Doolhof]

Hi Positivity,

I too welcome you to the community.

I am wondering if you have talked tot he Drs about how you are feeling emotionally and mentally. Can you write down everything that you experience and take that list in to the Dr?

In the past I have had some mental health care plans done. Part of that process is to answer a lot of multiple choice questions. This test has a name that eludes my brain right now! The Dr. adds up the score and decides if you suffer from depression, stress or anxiety.

Look up ANXIETY on Google and write down what relates to you if you can't think of ways to describe it yourself.

Is it possible for you to see the psychiatrist your partner sees? You could ask for a referral.

People who do not experience mental health issues may have little understanding of what you are going through.

I recently had some quite severe panic attacks in hospital after an operation. One Dr was telling me to slow down my breathing and then all of my body shakes and thrashing about would cease. Once I had calmed down I tried to explain to him that my body was doing that on its own accord. It felt like it just took over and decided that might be a fun thing to do right then.

Tell the next Dr you see that you don't want any more blood tests, you would like to find out if you suffer from anxiety and how can it be dealt with.

All the best with finding answers and getting help!

Cheers from Mrs. Dools

[positivity]

Thank you for your response, I hope your feeling better and your anxiety attacks don't increase. When your body thrashed around and shook, what did the doctor tell you?

are you talking about the k-10 mental health test? You answer questions and the doctors measure and give you a score? If so I have done a couple of these tests and I've score very high in depression, stress and mild anxiety... But nothing happens.

so I'm not sure if I should see a different gp or just get a referral to a psychiatrist? I'm a little worried I'm going to go and not get any progress or help and everything is going to stay the same

[Doolhof]

Hi Positivity,

Yes, that must be the test. I am a little surprised that if your score is high that nothing has been suggested to help you. My recommendation is see another Dr. Explain the results you have received and say you need to receive help for your mental health issues.

Working as a medical receptionist you may be aware which Dr in the practise is best suited to assist with mental health. Some clinics also have information sheets or pamphlets on mental health issues available. Use those to find help in your region.

Ask for an appointment to see a psych. Write down how you are feeling and give him or her the paper. Ask your partner or a friend to attend with you if necessary.

Ask for home work, tell them you really want to get well again. Go tot he library and look for books or askt he librarian for assistance.

Things don't have to stay the same. You want to feel better, so with a little help and with your own determination, this is possible. You may have days where you go backwards, but that is okay too as we all have days like that.

My episodes in hospital seemed to freak the medical staff out more than it did me. I feel my body was reacting to the anaesthetic and also due to swallowing a lot of blood during a sinus operation. I awoke in recovery not being able to breathe out of my nose then my throat clogged up and I had no air getting into my lungs.

Naturally my body was going to freak out! It happened a couple more times for reasons unknown to me as I wasn't at all panicky or stressed. These episodes have not happened again since returning home and I am not expecting them to.

My Dr. just told me I was a mystery patient and had no idea why those things occurred.

So back to you, read up on anxiety, stress and depression, looking for ways to assist yourself. Go to a different Dr and ask for a referral. Use the phone help lines like Life Line, Beyond Blue and any mental health numbers in your region.

I have called these people and they are very helpful.

The more I know about a condition, the more effectively I understand it and can live with it.

Cheers for now from Mrs. Dools

[Doolhof]

Me again,

Just thinking, it is the weekend. What are you going to do with these two days?

Go for a walk, see a movie with a friend, go to the beach, gardening, craft, fly a kite, buy a kite so you can fly it, cook something different, go for a drive, visit a market...the choices are endless.

[positivity]

I'm thinking of maybe seeing a new doctor, I think my regular doctor I see I work for, so not sure if they feel comfortable giving or accepting my mental health.

i will read and research anxiety abit more, so far in my research everything seems to relate to me. I feel abit nervous about calling a help line, I usually don't like talking about my feeling or how I'm feeling- this is just how I was brought up with tough love, don't tell anyone your feelings/issues as people can use them as weakness or sign your unhappy and reflects on your life. Hence why I would prefer to cry alone & suffer in silence.

This weekend my partner is doing backyard reno's which stress me out beyond belief as 9 times out of 10 I'm organising stuff with added stress of mid semester exams this week, so I'm mostly staying in doors. Which I know is very unhealthy, I might take a walk tomorrow.

i hope you have a beautiful weekend

[Doolhof]

Hi. It may be a good idea to see a Dr whom you don't work for. It will be interesting to learn what results you receive by doing this.

Regarding the phone help lines. I have trouble telling people how I am feeling vocally as well. I know what you mean about not voicing your opinion or needs. It was never welcomed in our home. I have found the phone help lines to be so beneficial for me.

I don't know the person on the other end of the line so it is okay. At times my calls to these people has prevented me from collapsing altogether. They are there if you need them.

How did you get on with your partner doing the out door reno activities? Do you get stressed because he asks for your help when you want to be or need to be doing other things or is it because the noise disrupts you?

Can you work out ways to change the results of how you feel and act towards these things?

My husband sometimes decides to vacuum the house when I return home from work and just want to relax and be quiet for a while. He is home all day so has had hours to vacuum! I have suggested he try to do it while I am at work.

If he still vacuums when I get home, I make a cuppa and sit in the garden for a while, pull a few weeds or do something away from the noise.

I'm stressed when my husband does reno work or garden work, due to not knowing what the result will be! Quite often he scares me when he uses power tools, chainsaws and such. He almost cut me in half with a chainsaw, almost decapitated himself and some times chops down the wrong tree!

I did have a lovely weekend thank you. I spent some time in the garden, caught up with friends, went to Church and had coffee with some ladies after, started a new jigsaw and researched "Riding for the Disabled" as I am thinking of becoming a volunteer.

Cheers for now, from Mrs. Dools

[Bekster]

Hey Lovely,

I wasn't going to join the beyond blue forum but because of you I felt compelled too & share. I understand where you are and the merry-go-round you're on. The questioning of your sanity and what is going on. I have been there and emerged the other side and now help others that are in recovery from pretty much anything because of what I personally lived through over a five year period.

You are so brave and strong and I feel you have a lovely compassionate heart as well. The shaking for me was when the adrenalin was hitting my system because of the fear "anxiety" of the 'what if's' were happening starts the bodies flight fight response. You sound to me like you are isolating more and more and in my experience that is not healthy. I teach the people I work with that which we focus on expands...including the anxiety. So maybe suggestion if you can do it, go inside the body see were it sits, don't judge it, just acknowledge it...then take it for a walk, do knitting with it or if you were me I would dance my ass off in my house...whatever works for you :). If you are in total panic (but not physically having a panic attack...but you can use it here too) I used this all the time "My name is Rebecca I am safe, to the left of me is (insert what ever is there ie Door) to the right of me is a (again insert ie Window) my name is Rebecca I am safe." And repeat it as many time as you need to come back to the present....it was the best tool I found out there in those situation and trust me I looked and went everywhere.

Also maybe have a look at googling on you tube ETR emotional trauma release exercises. I used this too. It is a way for the body to 'gently' shake out any trauma without having to go into the 'story' memory. My personal journey has been a bit in my words 'nuts' as I experienced life changing event after life changing event all in an incredibly short space of time...you can do this, its not in your head, your body is telling you this. Hope this helps a bit sending you a big hug x