Loneliness

[Guest_05971723]

After high school our friendship group separated, I was left with my best friend and another friend. My best friend drifted apart a few years ago and the other friend I drifted away from earlier this year (we hadn’t caught up since February last year and I always felt our conversations were the same/couldn’t speak deeply with her). Now I have no friends and no partner either. Every time I’m in a social setting I’m always thinking about what I’m lacking, what I’ve lost with my best friend. It’s not fair of me to blame everything on her, I don’t, but I could confide absolutely everything to her and now I don’t really have that. 

With work, it’s the same mundane tasks and routine. I have no motivation, no challenges, I’m not in an industry that I’m passionate about. With that, I don’t do anything during the week. Monday-Friday is work and on the weekends I stay home and read since I have nobody to catch up with (I genuinely do like reading).

I am incredibly close with my brother but he’ll be married within the next few years and I’m afraid I won’t leave the house and instead will isolate myself.

I know it’s contradictory but I can’t see anyone because I don’t want my family knowing how lonely I feel. I’ve been waking up every night since January and I think the loneliness is taking a bigger toll on me than I thought.

[Pete66]

It is OK. Most people do not keep in touch with their friends from school. Growing up take us all in different directions, you just have not found yours yet. But you will

[LotusAfterRain]

Hi my friend,

I hope you are doing well.

It might be sad to say this, but it is normal to drift away from your friends, especially when you are at different stages of your life. It is not necessarily a bad thing. It may simply mean that you have outgrown your original social circle. And maybe it’s time to make new friends! 🙂

You mentioned that you are obsessed with reading. Would you like to join an online English book club? It could be a good start for you. It might give you a chance to meet new people, have something to look forward to, and slowly bring some positivity back into your life.

TMI: I love reading as well, especially detective novels! Haha.

Warm regards🤗

LotusAfterRain

[Lana026]

Thank you for sharing and I’m really sorry you’re feeling like this 💛

Losing a friendship where you could tell someone absolutely everything can leave such a huge gap, and I can understand why you keep thinking about what you had with your best friend.

It also sounds like everything has become a bit repetitive and isolating at the same time. There’s nothing wrong with enjoying reading at all, but I can see how it would feel different when you also wish you had someone to call or catch up with.

I really understand why you’d worry about becoming more isolated as your brother’s life changes too. Maybe it could help to start really small, even just trying one new social thing or reconnecting with someone you used to know, without putting pressure on yourself to suddenly find a whole new friendship group.

And the fact that you’ve been waking up every night since January sounds like this has been affecting you more than you’ve probably let on 😔

You don’t have to have everything figured out straight away, but I hope you can be kind to yourself while you’re going through this.

You’re definitely not alone in feeling lonely after friendships change as you get older 🤍