Life feels pointless

ApolloCat

Hi there,

I’m about to turn 26 in a few days and looking at my life currently, I’m in the exact same position I was in when I started living independently at 18.

I work a job that barely covers my cost of living and I’ve had the same debt for the last 8 years that I just can’t seem to get rid of.

I’ve tried starting a business in a field I’m interested in and good at, but finding new customers and trying to keep the money flowing seems next to impossible, especially given that my role is not a necessity for most customers.

I spent the last 5 years getting my cert 3 and then diploma in a field I also enjoy, but the workplace itself is toxic and has honestly left me traumatised even thinking about going back to full time work.

I'm feeling hopeless and like there’s no point in even trying at this point because after everything I’ve worked towards and tried to do has left me in the same position I started in. I have nothing to show for it all except a few fancy pieces of paper.

I had a friend tell me that I’m going to have to work a job I hate if I want to make enough money to survive and save, but the thought of that terrifies me and makes me feel burnt out before even doing it.

I just don’t know what to do or where to look. Is there any point in continuing my business, or should I just give up. Should I find a full time job that covers the bills and just try to manage the suicidal thoughts I know will come back if I burn out.

im stuck, terrified and depressed at the thought that my life is going to be like this forever

MarryRay

You're not at a dead end, you're exhausted. When you try hard for several years in a row and do not see a breakthrough, the brain begins to paint a picture that it will always be like this, but this is a state of overwork, not an objective truth. At 26, life is not fixed, you already have experience, education and understanding that toxic work harms you, and this is not zero. It is not necessary to choose between a hateful job and a complete abandonment of a dream, you can find a more neutral job to reduce financial pressure and simultaneously develop your business without despair. Now you are afraid because you have burned out, and burnout always convinces that there is no way out. If suicidal thoughts return, it is a signal that you need support and help, and not even more lonely patience. Your life is not doomed to be the same, you are just very tired and there are no options from this state, but there are.