Learning this will help you

[highlysensitivepersonhsp]

What is it that made me sick? The answer is other people and their behaviour. Starting from childhood and through to this present day, the way other people treat me and communicate with me is the difference between being well or unwell.

But there is a trick you can play with yourself that can prevent unwellness. when you start to think of what makes you unwell you can use your insight and awareness to pause the downward spiral and make a choice that's different from how you usually respond.

For example, there are some really nasty people in my life right now who are stonewalling me or giving me the silent treatment. Ok, I can't change their behaviour but when I think about it I react by feeling worthless and powerless and helpless. Recently I caught myself entering this downward spiral of unwellness. So I used my mental energy to stop myself and I told myself that this reaction I have is not true. I am not worthless. I am not helpless. I am not powerless. In fact, I am a worthwhile person. I have lots of examples to back that up. I am not helpless. I can use my mind to overcome my reactions. And I am not powerless. I have the power to stop myself from believing the negative effects of their behaviour.

I am resourceful and I can learn about behaviour from YouTube and the Internet and this learning let's me see their abuse for what it is. I can devise my own strategies for combating them and become victorious in the battle. Even when the battle is with my own mind.

I will not let these people scar me for life and leave me ill whenever I think about them. They are not worth it. I will just get on with my life and find others who treat me better. It doesn't matter who they think they are they have no right to treat me this way. I will exercise my rights to move on and abandon them because they are not worth getting sick over.

really use your internal focus to watch how you think. Catch yourself before you go down into unwellness. Choose not to believe your automatic reactions. Change your thinking. You will heal and become strong.

[Ken1]

Hey highly sensitive person (hsp),

Love your post. Love your advocacy for the power of your mind and controlling your thinking. This is so important!

I am recovered from depression and anxiety but have my bad hours/days occasioanally and being able to control my thoughts and say NO! and not listen to the lies is what helps me to stay healthy!

Good on you for conquering your mind.

[highlysensitivepersonhsp]

Sincere thanks Ken1. It's great to support each other and celebrate the successes. Power on! Those with the mental power are the winners. We all can win this battle. We can prevent unwellness by how we treat each other. And become strong by recognising bad treatment by others and not letting it affect us. Best wishes. Sandra.

[Croix]

Dear HSP~

Thanks for your insight, I'm glad you are able to employ those techniques. I personally found the HSP concept very useful.

You may be interested to know White Rose has described a book on this subject in her post of 18 December in the thread:

Forums/ Staying well/ Helpful books and resources

I bought a cheap on-line copy and was very glad I did.

Many thanks

Croix

[CMF]

Hi HSP,

I too have adopted the same attitude this year and it does work. I also try not to engage too much with the toxic people who make me feel sick. I can't avoid them completely but I do not get into conversations unless absolutely necessary.

cmf

[highlysensitivepersonhsp]

Thanks for your support Croix. I have read The highly sensitive person by Elaine Aron. A copy is on my table in front of me. I took my nickname from the title. It was an eye opener for me. It explains so much about why I didn't fit in with my family and why I feel so deeply about things.

i have also read Arons book called the undervalued self. Again another eye opener. I love reading self development books and am currently reading How to have that difficult conversation by Cloud and Townsend. I also listen to podcasts via Sounds True which is affiliated with Eckhardt Tolle.

You can't know enough about yourself and people in general I feel. Always learning. That's my motto. Kind regards, Sandra

[highlysensitivepersonhsp]

Thanks CMF. I think that avoidance is a legitimate strategy sometimes. There is no point making yourself sick. I like to adopt a principle of independence. My self concepts are not dependent on others. This requires a certain degree of distance and detachment. It takes getting used to. And it means coming to terms with the fact that most people are toxic, except for those like us who have been through the wringer and congregate on forums like this. It is so lovely meeting people who have been through similar battles to me. Especially those who have conquered their demons and developed strategies for success. Kind regards, Sandra.

[Croix]

Dear Sandra~

Yes, I thought from your user name you might have read it. Do you think you might post details of a few other books in that thread?

I'm amazed how even one well thought out book can make such a difference.

Croix