Bad things always seem to happen to me. Not even the usual bad things. Bad things happen to me that would NEVER happen to anyone else. I got thinking tonight about all the bad things that have happened over the last few years and I thought I would share a few of them here.
During a party at an indoor kids playground a gecko fell from a 3 story high roof beam and landed splat on my arm.
I rescued a stunned bird from the side of the road, put it in a canvas shopping bag to drive it to the vet. Halfway there the bird woke up and exploded from the bag while I was driving on a 3 lane road. It flew around the inside of the car flapping feathers all over the place before settling down under the accelerator pedal. I had to coast along getting slower and slower until I could move across the lanes to pull over and let it out.
I was lying in bed scrolling through my phone when two legs stepped over my eyeball followed by the body of a very large daddy-long-legs spider.
There was a weird looking half dead plant in a rusty metal pot in my yard that I decided to get rid of. Without really looking at it I grabbed it with both hands and yanked. Turns out it was a cactus covered in thin almost clear spines. I go running inside yelling for my daughter to get the tweezers because both my hands are full of needles, then spend half an hour sitting there while she tries to find and remove all the spines from my hands. The next day I have the thought that if I didn't know it was a cactus then the kids won't realise either so I can't leave it in the yard. I decide I will just throw the whole thing out, rusty pot and all. So I pick the cactus up by the pot and start carrying it slowly towards the open bin. I get a little way before the rusty bottom of the pot starts to give way, so I start to walk a bit faster, then the sides of the pot start to disintegrate and I end up legging it fast as I can to the bin while carrying this large falling apart pot and giant cactus. I make it just in time and launch the cactus (pot and all) into the bin. At this point the cactus hits the bottom of the bin, snaps in half and rebounds out of the bin slapping me across the face with a great deal of force. For the second time in 2 days I go running into the house screaming for tweezers.
Is anyone else's life like this?????
