Hey look, a birdie! (How to function with ADHD.)

[Clues_Of_Blue]

As someone only recently diagnosed with ADHD, I'm still getting my head around what aspects of this crazy critter are thanks to that, and what I can do about it. It was always apparent to me that I was incredibly forgetful compared to others around me, and I've driven many a manager nuts with my tendency to bounce between tasks constantly (mostly they just ran with it because I'm actually pretty competent if left to my own processes and - very importantly - deadlines to work to), so I have a few strategies for working around it after 40-odd years. That said, I'd love to hear from others with ADHD about how you've managed the condition and how you wade through the daily drudgery. Of course I'm equally happy to share any tricks I've worked out for myself.

Blue.

[ecomama]

Excellent posts Blue! I appreciate you sharing with us.

I won't be able to respond to it all in 1 post. What spurred my first thoughts after reading them both was that our own individual perspective can override what is seen as "typical" reactions to an event. 
EG my brother & I experienced similar events in our childhood. My brother was vehemently opposed to having ANY THING to do with our father, very angry about being told to drive me to his funeral. I thought he was offering but he was told to. He felt 100% abandoned by him & felt hate. 

I didn't. Maybe I saw more? I was older.
My perspective at the time was that he was forced out.
I also thought "this is about THEM, not me". 
Same event, different reactions. 

Same with demon. He was so dependent on me for 99% of his life. He created my views during the "marriage" but afterwards, with countless hours of MH study & support, I was able to see the dynamic with CLARITY. 

With your quoted info, I do work in this field with clients. Some research said that it takes up to 300 re-presentations of new thought patterns to push this learning into long term memory. 
Blocking (avoiding) the old thought pattern is the key IME. 
This forces synaptic pruning. LOVE THAT TERM! 

Dr Joe Dispenza teaches us about this. 

Once we do what you quoted, and synaptic pruning occurs, we've created new thought patterns. 
It's freedom of sorts, feels great! 

I'm off to minimise my bedroom lol. 

LOVE YOUR INFO, thankyou!
EMxxxx

[Clues_Of_Blue]

Hey EM,

Glad the info was useful to you. Of course there's too much to respond to in 1 post. I agree about perspective and different reactions to the same events. From an outside standpoint I understand the conclusions both you and your brother reached regarding your father, you experienced the same things differently. My example of that sort of thing would be school - my siblings and I were all shunned. My sister took it on herself, always assuming something was wrong with her, always trying to be more like "normal" people. I, on the other hand, observed the people ill-treating me were no more worthy than I was and that the problem was with them, so I maintained myself and separated from the toxic atmosphere as much as possible, later working out how to cherry pick non-toxic relationships. My brother followed my logic that the bullies were the problem but never really worked out that last part about gauging what a good relationship is and has ultimately withdrawn from pretty much everything. These are three very different perspectives/outcomes on much the same experience.

Interesting about your work with clients and about synaptic pruning (it is a fun term). I was mainly drawn to the quote I posted because blocking/avoiding those thought patterns 100% does not work for me and makes it all significantly worse. A lot of my reading has backed up my experience in saying actively resisting a thought strengthens it and makes it more persistent - I have found this to be true and have struggled to find something that does work. Maybe I'm misinterpreting what synaptic pruning is? More information, please.

Good luck with your bedroom, I'm sure you'll achieve plenty.

Blue.

[M_T]

Hi Clues of Blue,

Can you tell me how this story ends? Did you get a resolution to you original question?

Are things better?

Your struggles spoke to me in a way that made me feel heard. I'm desperate for a good news story from this. 

M

[Clues_Of_Blue]

Hi M,

Sorry for such a belated reply, for whatever reason I didn't get a notification that I had a message, and found it by chance.

I don't think there's ever really an ending to stories like this, but I can tell you that though I certainly still have my struggles, things have improved to a decent extent. A lot of that has come from knowing my strengths and weaknesses, and managing my boundaries in such a way that I don't over-extend myself all the time like I used to. It's also come from unpacking a whole lot of other things about myself; as it turns out I'm also autistic, non-binary and full of a lifetime of trauma. Those things all play into how I feel about myself and the world, and how I am able to manage my stress and of course, my ADHD. It's been quite the journey!

I'm glad to know that reading my story made you feel heard. The work isn't easy, but there definitely is good news to be had, it can get better.

Kind thoughts, 

Blue.