hello everyone :) does anyone have tips for aspergers christmas

[giggywick]

I'm sorry if this isn't the right forum to post in, but I didn't know where else to put this, this is the only mental health website I know of and I know this isn't about anxiety or depression so if this isn't the right place please tell me. Now that that's out of the way; I have Aspergers and I have trouble knowing how to receive gifts. Last year I got gifts I didn't want and I very blankly said that I didn't like it and my mum got so angry at me, it felt horrible because I couldn't understand really what I did wrong. That's why I went on this forum to receive advice on how to react to gifts so I don't get yelled at again. Any advice on how to at least pretend to be happy to receive gifts that I don't want or just how to avoid being nervous on when and how to say thank you for gifts and just social things that I cant understand would be much appreciated 🙂

[Matchy69]

Hi i was just reading your post.I to have aspergers syndrome and so does my 15y.o daughter.I usally dont tell people i have.My daughter also has selective mutism and will only talk to her close family and wont talk to any of her fiends at school.They have never heard her speak.

I do understand how your situation and how you react to presents you didnt want,you were just being your self and their was nothing wrong with that as that is who you are.I think your mother might not be understanding aspergers and thats not your fault.I understand my daughter and wouldnt change her for the world.

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi giggywick,

Thanks for your post; I think you're absolutely in the right place.

I totally agree with Matchy69 in that you are just being your genuine self, but at the same time I do understand your concerns because not everyone does understand.

With the 'social norms', we generally do say thank you for gifts even if we don't like them because someone has put the time, effort or money into giving us something. I too have gotten gifts that I knew instantly I didn't like, but I was grateful though that someone had taken the time to get me something anyway instead of nothing at all. When we say that we don't like it or want it, it can hurt people's feelings because it disregards everything else too (not just the gift, but any effort they went to).

Rather than pretending to like the gifts that you don't like, do you think you could talk about other parts of the gift giving?

• "Thank you for the gift" (because you weren't left out of the gift giving process)
• "I appreciate you thinking of me"

• "It was very kind of you to get me this present"
• "I will put it on my shelf at home/in my bedroom / put it outside"

Maybe these sorts of responses might feel right to you. I hope that this helps in some way

rt

[giggywick]

thankyou so much for the reply, its very helpful :). I used to think that it was best to tell them i dont like the gift because it would save them the effort next year but i had trouble understanding that it hurts peoples feeling when i tell them, i will make sure to use your advice this year to avoid making people upset 🙂