Getting through Christmas

[james1]

Hi,

I wanted to start this thread because there are a lot of people here, and elsewhere in our lives, who struggle during the Christmas period. Depending on my personal circumstances, I'm one of those people and Christmas can really bring out the loneliness in me. So I thought it would be nice to start a little thread where we can share either what we plan to do over Christmas, perhaps some things that we'd like to do, or even what helps you get through Christmas if it is a difficult time for you.

I am quite prone to feeling exceptionally lonely over Christmas, and I don't particularly enjoy family gatherings (difficult history), so the biggest thing I did this year was I made sure I could bring my dog along. I'll take him for a nice walk tomorrow night, perhaps go looking at lights in our covid-safe car, and he'll be with me at lunch on Christmas Day.

Another thing I'd like to do on Christmas Day is to get a coffee from my local coffee shop, and hopefully wish them a merry christmas, as I quite like the people who work there.

James

[smallwolf]

On hols with family. Kids break from swimming. My son will spend with GF family. Will prolly call mum and dad to wish them merry Christmas. And brother? Will watch service streamed from my church instead of going to a service. So it will be a quiet one.

Don't underestimate the value of wishing someone else happy Christmas :)

Despite not being overly happy at this time of year, wishing someone else merry Christmas can be like wishing that person a happy birthday

[Bananie1234]

Hi James,

I hope you’ll enjoy your Christmas and Thank You for your thread.

I’m feeling the same too. And with the pandemic , i feel more lonely than ever. I couldn’t travel overseas (not even to see my loved ones). I planned to go home for Christmas this year which didn’t happen. My friend was coming back to qld from nsw over Christmas but due to the mini cluster, it ain’t happening. I have my brother here, but idk what’s going on , plus i got no invitations to hang over xmas. (For the past few years, I’ve been the one that either initiated or invited myself over) Even though I’m sure he wouldn’t mind if i rock up, my ego makes me not want to show up “uninvited”.

i have spent one xmas totally alone in the past, i guess it’s not the end of the world to do it again but ive decided to go on this hike through a hiking club so I’ll spend xmas morning with a group of strangers. As for the rest of the day, I’ll see how i feel, i might put my ego aside and show up at my brother’s or I’ll just be a couch potato with my cat.

after everything that’s happened to me this year, I don't feel the excitement, it’s just another day. I’ve got nothing to look forward to. Im feeling defeated over 2020. I’m scared if I don’t get on top of my anxiety and shame/self esteem issues, it’ll only go downhill.

im really sorry if i dragged everyone’s christmas spirits down.

[Lillylane]

Hi James

Thanks for starting this thread.

It’s a relief to be able to say here honestly I don’t find Christmas as joyous as TV adverts suggest. And the build up of expectations for at least the two months prior to Christmas is relentless.

I have a painful family history too and this time of year is a particularly difficult reminder of that.

This year I’ve planned a few things for spending the day to myself and not have too much time to think (hopefully). I’ve lined up some magazines, some plants to plant out and a small diy project to do.

I’m glad your dog brings you comfort (and I’m sure it goes both ways). I have two cats and I find their gentle presence and cuddles very grounding.

If I think about the best gift anyone has given me this year - it’s the BB forum. Here, I’ve found true kindness in the form of people generously giving their time to help and support others, without expecting anything in return.

Thank you James and many other kind people here who contribute.

Lillylane.

[smallwolf]

Hiya James and others....

Just wondering how your day went?

[Lillylane]

Hi Smallwolf

Thanks for asking. Hope the others here are doing ok.

The day went ok for me. Not great.
I found I had to put my phone away for a while, did some reading and some outside tasks.

But I do feel my mood lifting a bit this evening, perhaps feeling the relief in getting to the end of the day.

[quirkywords]

James 1

Thanks for starting this thread.
how did your Christmas go. .?

Christmas is another day for me but I know it can be very stressful and lonely for many people.
Lillylane I am glad you got through the day , and sorry it was hard for you.

Bananie thanks for sharing your thoughts . I am sorry you have had a bad year.
how did your hike go..?

[golden82]

Hi Lillylane,

Sorry, I didn't notice this thread re Xmas also. I am sorry to read you were alone. Just to let you know I was too (better late than never for this message of solidarity hey?). You sound as though your day was okay and you were well prepared/planned for it which is great. Thinking of you and hope you have a nice restful sleep and wake up to it over for another year. I have done 8 of these Xmas alone in 38 yrs and I still struggle with it. Not even a single call or anything...so I certainly look forward to it being over and aim to be strong enough to help out at a volunteer centre next year. Take care.

[Lillylane]

Hi Golden82,

Thank you for your kind message - I was moved by your thoughtful words and it lightened my day. My warmest wishes in support! It sounds like it’s a really difficult time of year for you too. Let’s have a cup of tea/coffee/hot chocolate to celebrate the day being done and having a whole year to go until we have to endure this again!

How are you doing today? I know even when we prepare ourselves, it’s still rough and that’s ok and understandable.

I’m in my early forties and I’ve not been allowed back to visit my family home since I was 27 years old...

I used to lie to my workmates and tell them I was going to see my family over Christmas. Partly I felt embarrassed and ashamed of myself and partly because I didn’t feel up to telling them the whole painful story.

I’m in the midst of a relationship breakdown at the moment and it’s hard for me not to panic and feel like history is repeating itself somehow.

I can understand how much energy it takes getting through the heavy feelings, especially this time of year, and self-care is a priority.

Thinking of you,
Lillylane

[Lillylane]

Thank you Quirkywords,
Glad there is support here, and good to know we are not alone.