From despair to hope, from shame to dignity, a brighter future awaits us all.

[livelovelife]

Hi there,
New to this forum. If you bear with me I would like to share my story with mental illness (psychosis and depression) so you know where I'm coming from and to give hope to others.
 I was a very normal teenager and young adult, never had any serious mental health issues until I decided to stop seeing my mates who were all druggies. Good decision? Yes and no. I no longer was influenced to take drugs but with no job (due to fight's with my father who I worked for only) and no friends or educational pursuits/purpose in my life, I slowly fell into severe depression. One night I had a psychotic episode and was taken to hospital (by my parents) and was diagnosed with psychosis. This lead to 2 stints in halfway houses/mental institutions for about 4 months total which felt like 2 years. Yeah....it was pretty soul destroying and traumatic if you've ever been in one, especially for a young man. Once out, I was put on depression medication plus seeing a case worker and psychologist. After about 3 years of this process I am now off medication completely (for 1 years), no longer required or feel the need to see a psychologist, am stable mentally with my thought processes and my goal is to one day help others who have been through something similar to me. (nearly finished my education in this area). For me, it was a combination of things which helped get my life on track, firstly sticking to the medication, then finding supportive and good friends. ONCE my head/thoughts were clearer (in touch with reality) I started volunteering and I cannot stress how helpful this was, to know I could help others (once you've helped yourself) and could make a difference, it changed my whole perspective on life. After about 5 years since my psychosis diagnosis and all the trauma that came with that I can now speak openly about my experiences to anyone who asks about my life or what I've been through. Sounds silly, but movies like Silver Lining Playbook helped me feel 'normal' and gave me a sense of dignity about my struggles with psychosis (even though the character had bi-polar). Plus, organizations like BB (not big brother but beyond blue..jokes) have helped with the shame and guilt I have felt of having a mental illness and being put into a 'nut house'.

One thing that kept me going was that I was so determined to get educated and make something of my life. At first I couldn't say exactly where that determination came from? On reflection I now believe it came from some people in my life that just spoke a word of encouragement and inspired me in some way from years ago. For example, I started to remember my legal teacher from year 11. Not your average lawyer but an inspiring human rights advocate, he told me that in life we had to 'reinvent' ourselves, twice, three times, four times or more. He told me that life is all about what we stand for, that we all need something to stand for, something to fight for, other wise what are you truly living for? What's the point? In other words, a purpose.

I realize the statistics about relapses on psychosis and depression but I'm determined to focus on the positives and if the worst happens, now I know how to pick myself up again.

I'm not saying what worked for me will work for everyone, but if someone can find hope and encouragement through my story then well .....maybe that's my purpose? And maybe the person I help will find their purpose in helping others?

Thanks for opportunity to share.

P.S. Does anybody else find it annoying when visiting a GP and your mental illness that you used to have must be explained every single time because it's on record? Bloody annoying..haha.

[The_Real_David_Charles]

Dear livelovelife,

Thanks for the heads up on your story.

I was thinking about your joke re BB (not big brother but beyond blue..ha).   In a strange way big brother is therapy.   We see the daily things.  The fights.  The liaisons.  It's a bit of a snap shot of life.  Pretty mundane though.  It's life in a vacuum.  Some pressure to be in that situation, just like our own mental health situations.  That's why it's a bit of a lesson in tolerance, acceptance and getting on.  Not exactly negative behaviours.

Inspiration for getting well and being balanced can come from anywhere.    By the time some of these house living competitors are finished they are either coping very well or totally destroyed.  Both of these would be Beyondblue candidates.

Your legal teacher from Yr 11 was a good mentor for you.  His contact with you is now here for us to witness.   As we ourselves may witness stuff to others.   You're right, it's like a shared understanding.  Maybe Big Brother should be more Big Sharer.   Might not be as dynamic but the entrants would learn to "be".

Adios, David.

[livelovelife]

No problems David 🙂 this forum is a great way to share and release everything we sometimes 'bottle up' in regards to mental health. If only I knew about this before I went through all my rough times who knows, maybe it could've been prevented? The past is the past though, I can't change it, only understand why it happened and look to the future. It took me a while to realize that, it was very easy to start blaming people, even though it could've been there fault and that thinking just creates resentment, anger and more suffering.

With the BB joke, I was just simply clarifying what I meant by BB (that it' was beyond blue). I guess Big brother does provide life lessons though as you mentioned and if we find meaning or something inspires you in a good way then that's just fine to me.

I was very lucky to have good mentors such as my year 11 legal teacher. If you impact or inspire kids greatly they do remember what you say to them for the rest of their lives. 

love life.

[geoff]

dear Livelovelife, phew can have a rest now after your username,.

You do make a good point ' impact or inspire kids greatly they do remember what you say to them for the rest of their lives', and this does happen, even though you had no intention of it being so.

All of a sudden out of the blue someone comes back to me and says I remember when you said ===========, and it has helped me through a difficult period in the last few weeks.

Talk about pulling the rabbit out of the hat, oh did I say that to you, I don't remember. Geoff.