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Essential - absolutely necessary; extremely important (Or so they say)

Community Member


I just want to know, is healthcare, and mental health truly essential?
If so, why must we still be separated by telehealth, when the counsellor, and the patient are both vaccinated, tested negative to COVID, sit more than 1.5 m apart, and wear a mask? Why can we not be?

I held yet another telehealth session today, and I do not hold blame on my counsellor, or psychologist, they have gone above and beyond for me, I fell apart today, and I can see in her eyes the wish to be by my side to comfort me.

Whenever I am in her presence I feel protected, I feel a sense that I am moving forwards, she allows me to be vulnerable, but provides the warmth and comfort I need after feeling so exposed.

When our sessions are over, she walks with me to the door, I feel supported as we say "until next time".

Whenever we hold telehealth sessions though, I dread the close, see, after we say our goodbye, we wave, then the screen fades to black, and I am back in an empty home, so cold, so alone.

I feel worse after these sessions, and I want to know why, after almost 2 months, we cannot return to the care I, and many other severely require, all protocols would be more than met, this cannot go on much longer, I cannot continue to outpour emotion and feel more and more empty and alone.

Where once I felt hope going to see her, now I feel trapped in hopelessness, I have thought about giving up, I see her wonderful face look at mine pained, shackled from providing me the care she is capable of, I feel as if I am letting her down feeling so low.

I classify my mental health, grief, and PTSD as essential to my well being, and ultimate survival.
Someone tell me what harm would come from allowing us to share a space in person, saving me from falling into complete despair, and giving me hope for the future?

Can anyone answer, Please?
Or am I just another number slipping through the cracks of an inadequate government.

4 Replies 4

Community Member

Hi pl515p1,

Sorry to hear you're going through so much.

I can understand that face-to-face contact/interaction is not the same as seeing someone on-screen.

Covid has taken away so much! We're all affected in some way. I don't remember how I used to live pre-Covid and I don't exactly know how I want to live post-Covid.

If you would like to talk more, I'm listening.

Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Heya pl515p1,

I'm sorry to hear that you're having a tough time... Especially in times like this where you're in dire need of adequate support to deal with what you're going through at the moment (I remember your previous few posts about having nightmares, and a tragic event that happened...). There's only so much that text and telephone calls can do to help support a person through their tough times, when sometimes what's most effective would be the presence of another person who's there to listen to us, give us some visual emotional support like expressions, calming gestures, emotional contact. Even just the radiating warmth from another person can be soothing for us.

We are certainly going through tough times at the moment, and I don't believe it's possible for us to go back to pre-covid times. But I do believe, things will turn out alright for us in post-covid, it definitely won't be the same as pre-covid, but it'll be alright.

Happy to chat with you more!


Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hi there pl515p1

Thanks heaps for your post - what courage and strength it has taken for you to pour so much emotion into your words.

I sincerely believe this forum will help you, as it has done to so many others over the years.

The short answer about whether healthcare for mental health is essential is a big YES!

Is Covid separation, telehealth and Covid distancing a fair way to treat it - NO is isn't!

Every day I read about the thousands of human beings severely affected by Covid and the seemingly inhumane consequences it is bringing. How very easy is it for a health officer beaurocrat to odere a sudden lock down with seemingly little empathy towards persons like you. Yes, I wonder to why you cannot go and see your counsellor for an important and healing 1 : 1 session then drive straight back home.

If I may offer one small suggestion that has proven very successful with people suddenly separated from their support framework due to lock down - that is to have a routine and keep busy with it.

Even Olympic athletes who have recently been on top of the world are now finding themselves depressed in quarantine etc - guess what? Those who have created a daily routine and stick to it are coping much better.

This probably sounds too easy - but I personally find that when my mind is occupied or thinking of the next daily thing to do (they are NOT regarded as tasks), I feel much better and the day flies by.

My daily list includes a 1 hour exercise programme and I monitor how I feel afterwards each day, relearning how to play my guitar all over again, getting into a great series of books written by Peter Fitzgerald, brushing both our dogs (very therapeutic), thinking about what's for dinner when its my turn etc etc.

One activity I have also enjoyed very much is messaging one different friend every day. Who cares if they respond, but they mainly do. Keep the messages up beat if you can, and be sure to ask about what they are up to. If you know their interests, ask about that too.

Anyway, please feel secure that as long as you are on this forum you need not feel cold and alone, even though in person hugs are not possible!

Stay strong, I believe that one day you will look back at this period as a learning experience as you gradually grow strongly out of it.

All the very best for now, happy for you to stay in touch.

The Bro

Community Member

Thank you for your replies,

In the past week I held two telehealth session, one group, one solo.
The feeling remains the same, each telelheath session takes so much out of me, but I do not renew after.

I feel so bad for my grief counsellor, she is one of the best people I have ever met, I hate myself for making her worry, for making her reschedule to accommodate me.

I also see that she is trying to somehow provide face to face care for me, even though it is above her choice, and I feel so much guilt for causing her issues such as this.

Things such as being in two separate rooms and opening up the hallway between them, seriously, how would sitting a quarter of a football field apart, fully vaccinated, and wearing a mask, cause any issues or hurt anyone?

If I were physically injured or hurt, would they prevent her from being beside me tend to my wounds in person?
I very much doubt that.

I have a few weeks without any support now, so things will be extremely challenging, especially with lockdown extended through September, and September 2020 is when dad passed, the night after fathers day..., my uncle is very sick right now, and I cannot visit him, I still have not come to terms with mum passing in March, my brother will not respond to my letters, even though he lives 15 minutes away.....

It is too much for one man to take on alone, I can't do it.
I would give anything to be able to sit beside her one last time, give her a hug to let her know that she is special.

I have 3 sessions within an eight day period from Sept 6 to 13th, so I know I will have support then, but sometimes I think I will not attend them, I don't know.

If I am even a bit late she calls me, so I know she cares so much, I don't want her to worry...
And others in the group have reached out to me, they are all wonderful people.

I feel like I wasted all of the previous sessions we held face to face, the time always seemed to fly by so fast during those, I feel as if I took them for granted.
The journey to them allowed me to formulate my thoughts, and after, when emotion escaped, she was there to comfort me, and when we parted I felt her presence and warmth on my shoulder.

I also wish I took more advantage of the only group session I was able to attend in person, I was only there for a brief time before receiving some sad news via a phone call, so I had to leave.

I did not know that would be the last chance I had to be around those wonderful people face to face.