Do You Like Yourself? Your Thoughts are Welcome!

[blondguy]

Hello Everybody and new posters especially:-)

I have had anxiety since 1983 and depression from 1997. There is always someone that says 'You have to Love Yourself' before recovery. When people are suffering from anxiety/depression this may be the last 'advice' they really need. This is only my experience when I am 'advised to love myself' to rebuild my life. I have heard the following from people that cant 'love themselves' which is fair enough as I am a person that cant either. Your thoughts will help me and others learn from your point of view. I can only be 'gentle' to myself to heal...not love.

• Why should I love myself if I dont in the first place?
• I am in a dark place, how can I love myself?
• I dont deserve to love myself
• I am depressed...How can I love myself?
• I have mega anxiety attacks..what is there to love about myself?
• I hate myself and what I stand for...why should I?
• I love my partner more...I will care about myself 'later'

When people have depression/anxiety/denial they dont need to be counseled with ' love yourself'. Thats a huge ask.

I dont need to climb Mt Everest by trying to love myself when I cant. It can be an unrealistic and even silly target to achieve having depression

I just prefer to be 'gentle' to myself. Same results and way less stress 🙂 Your thoughts/opinions are more than welcome

Thankyou so much

Paul

[quirkywords]

Thanks CMF

I think acknowledging and being open and honest is part of liking ourselves and realising our strengths and weaknesses.

Sometimes I say things that are kind but because of another's mood they misunderstand and take offence. that really upsets me as I know I have not said anything hurtful. I have to learn that is their problem and be strong.

It is hard being a people pleaser!

Quirky

[CMF]

Hi Quirky,

'I think acknowledging and being open and honest is part of liking ourselves and realising our strengths and weaknesses.' - Absolutely agree.

Also There is a difference between saying things that are kind, but misunderstood because of mood, and saying things that are hurtful and telling someone they are too sensitive. The latter is what i often have to deal with.

I think you are on the right track to liking/loving yourself.

[blondguy]

Hey everybody .......and NEW POSTERS too 🙂

CMF & Quirky......you are wonderful......When my brain is 'tired' (exhausted )and if anyone asks me how I am..then I say "I saw the ceiling this morning so its going to be a good day" 🙂

It sounds cheesy....but I stole that quote off the Hon Geoffrey Kennett.....the creator and recent Chairman of Beyond Blue

Paul x

[quirkywords]

Paul,

I hope it is ok to say this but you always seems so patient and understanding and encouraging of others. I know that is your role butI feel it is part of ho you are.I wonder whether you still are harder on yourself and dont have the patience or the acceptance of the kind things people say. I hope I am wrong but is just a feeling. I suppose that makes you human.!

Do others find it easier to patient with others than with yourself.?

Quirky

[blondguy]

Hey Quirky

I am a lot more patient with myself than I used to be. It took a heap of counseling in the 80's and '90's which I didnt want to do but had no choice as I wanted to heal from being a nervous wreck and being so hard on myself

Thankyou for the super kind post though. I used to dislike myself a lot as I used to fight anxiety and was way too hard on myself. I am always super appreciative of any nice things that people have to say.

Good question Quirky 🙂

Paul

[Moonstruck]

Hey BlondGuy....I couldn't resist....saw your quote from a while back "I saw the ceiling this morning so it's going to be a good day".....guess what...I saw the floor, the walls, the door and the hallway too....does this mean a super-duper, u beaut terrific day awaits me?? Just askin'.........

(still can't relate to the "used to dislike myself a lot" aspect of your thread)...is there something wrong with me as I like myself a helluva lot!! It's striving so hard to please others and have them like me too and not "abandon" me that makes life so hard for me at times.....but not liking "myself"?.....No I think I'm terrific!

luv ya......Moon S xo

[quirkywords]

Moon

I love your attitude. nothing wrong at all I would like your self confidence. I am a people pleaser too but unlike you I don't worry if people like me, in fact I assume most people won't so I don't get disappointed. FIgure that out. I have a question on my thread to day about the need for people to like us,.

Quirky

[Moonstruck]

Quirky....I don't have much self confidence at all....I just like who I am. I am not confident that others do, or will though.....I have the idea that if people tend to "like you" they tend to treat you better...not be cruel etc...rather than if they Don't "like you". I am not good at standing up for myself. I will do anything to avoid confrontation or friction...hence I am anxious that others will "like" me.

[CMF]

Moon,

We are so much alike when it comes to liking ourselves vs others liking us. You said ' I like myself a helluva lot...' I think this comes down to knowing we have good morals and respect others. We try our best to be good people and do right by others also. It's part of being proud of who you are and what you stand for. I too like myself most of the time but do struggle with how others perceive me.

cmf

[Guest_128]

Hi Sara,and all.

I think this is where I need to respond to my statement I left on the pearl thread.

This is hard to answer, so as usual I just spit it out

I hate being praised as I so very much don't think I am worthy.

I give prais,compliments to help people and try to help them.

I do often think the whole point of people praising is a huge wank feast and it is really about the person giving it. Cause they want it back.

I don't get why everybody else has to know how you feel about someone.

the bs school like feel,omg did I not kiss ass to tha t person,or omg have I already done that one.

I don't know, Don't want to offend,sorry,it just makes me feel uncomfortable.

Dory

I don't have the words to