Can these forums cause depression?

[Sea-n-sky]

Hi everybody, - It's me 🙂

Having  defeated depression, I joined this web site to promulgate the good news and manifest what worked for me in achieving that victory, I have  regrettably come to a conclusion of paramount importance, which must be conveyed to you all.

Although many of the postings, are enlightening, and must be enormously beneficial to members one way or another, I see a very clear and distinct downside to it all. That downside may in fact, completely negate the benefits which these forums must offer to many.

Depression is a serious matter, and in so many cases promulgated through these forums, the stories are heartbreaking, distressing beyond comprehension, and by association, downright depressing.

What kind of country, indeed society, are we living in, that permits such misery to manifest itself across a nation, and in all probability, global spectrum ? 

I feel confident it was not the intention of this website to drive people into a state of depression, but I take this opportunity to caution you all, I feel, that could be happening to some persons "out there".

I submit, no decent normal human being could fail to be saddened and severely distressed in reading some, indeed too many, of these threads.

Unless you are “hard and thick skinned”, armoured plated against human emotion, then you should seriously consider staying away from these forums, as I feel the risks of the onset of depression may be unacceptably high.

It seems to me, in laymans terms, depression is "infectious", spread widely through the pages of these forums.

I now ask, are these forums becoming as much a part of the problem, as their potential to contribute to solution ?

There is no doubt that some stories are saddening, beyond the limits of normal human acceptance, and may contribute to the onset of

suicidal thoughts in some persons, through despair at the knowledge of the sufferings of others within our society, particularly young persons.

There goes, a tragedy of unprecedented proportion.

That’s what I feel.

That’s why I submit this posting, as it would be grossly irresponsible not to.

Prior to joining these forums I had some knowledge of mental illness, but no comprehension of its extent within our so called “society”.

Bye Sea-n-sky.

[white knight]

Hi Sea-n-sky, 

With respect I disagree with you. There are many lighthearted threads to and we are aiming at more.

I am indeed one of the most sensitive of people. Nicknamed the "worrier" at 12yo. Reactive and emotional all my life. So your comment "Unless you are “hard and thick skinned”, armoured plated against human emotion, then you should seriously consider staying away from these forums, as I feel the risks of the onset of depression may be unacceptably high." There is no evidence of this. In fact I'm on here 4-5 hours a day reading, listening and trying to assist. This forum has not only given me clarity when I've had issues to raise with my own problems,it has remarkably extended my knowledge of other mental illnesses, what others endure and if and when it all gets too much I can use the "off" button on my computer.

Effectively a point you raise is "too many threads being read can effect one's mental health". So what is the ideal amount of help? Where do we get a yardstick, a prime example of how much we can help others? When do we know when to "back off"? Which thread from someone asking for help do we not post?. How far do you reach out to others? If one reaches out too little in fear of over saturating others with depressing threads do we erase some? What of those that cant get enough of these threads? I really dont believe Beyond Blue nor any other org can make that call, make that balance because humans are all different and where you yourself are obviously concerned with the negative aspect of reading too many sad stories here we regulars are concerned we are answering to ALL peoples needs as they arrive.

 "I now ask, are these forums becoming as much a part of the problem, as their potential to contribute to solution ?" I dont know if you realise, but some sufferers feel at home here.They cannot fit into society, their family and friends lives are no longer like an easy jigsaw puzzle, its complex, often ending without any friends or family left. It is here they read- about themselves.We embrace them

 But I am old enough to realise that there is a negative about everything in life as well as positives. In war people are sacrificed for the benefit of saving many like the atom bombs in Japan. So you might be right in the extreme, a few suffer because they read too many sad stories and feel hopelessness.

To seek steps towards a problem one must firstly understand the problem and seek guidance to manage it. . That's why we are here.

take care  🙂

[depressed]

Sea-n-sky - I understand your point of view, I also respectfully disagree. I have no other outlet to express my thoughts and feelings. I feel that if I can share the good, the bad and the ugly anonomously I feel better and I get the support from nonjudgemental people. Yes some blogs are depressing but afterall we all need an outlet.

[AGrace]

Hi Sea-n-sky,

I think the forums provide a platform for several key things, none of which would I say would lead to depression:

The first would be a place to promote wellbeing, which is why we have sections such as treatments & recovery. Its also the reason behind such threads as "finding joy when times are dark", "positive affirmations", "3 things to be thankful for", "SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING ANXIETY/DEPRESSION", "Inspirational quotes" just to name a few.

The second would be for people to share their experience with mental illness in order to find hope for wellness and recovery. There are not many people who post who are not seeking support in there effort to move out of the despair that mental illness can often cause.

And the third would be to form connections with like minded people in order to share stories, share resources, share thoughts, feelings, ideas, interests, and be able to do something for others by reaching out and offering support. These connections and offers of assistance can have a really positive impact on someone's confidence, self worth and self esteem.

In an effort to support someone towards mental wellbeing, it's important that we allow them to share their story. This does mean that sometimes we hear not just the good, but the bad and the ugly also, but from these posts we also get to witness positive changes as people move toward a place of recovery and wellness.

I hope this has been useful, and I hope that it provides a different perspective on the forums for you. I would be interested to hear your thoughts.

AGrace

[Vegetarian Marshmallow]

I feel like anyone who has only just had the existence of suffering in the world revealed to them specifically by these forums has been living in a very small bubble indeed.  You can't take everyone's suffering into yourself or you'll go insane.  Something being a serious matter does not mean you have to experience its emotional extent yourself.  Sometimes, it's actually counterproductive.  It doesn't cheapen the seriousness to allow yourself some breathing room.  I consider it a useful skill to be able to twiddle the knobs on your empathy so it doesn't get out of hand.  A very standard coping mechanism seems to be humour.  This is why you see armed forces personnel cracking jokes about heads blowing up, and nurses joking about children dying - if they didn't make those jokes, they would be crying and they wouldn't be able to do their jobs.

[Mares73]

Dear Sea n Sky I have to also respectfully disagree. I've read so many posts where people say this is the only place they feel comfortable to share their thoughts & feelings. This is particularly true for those who are isolated or have no other support system. Personally I have found the forums with all that I've learnt to have been more beneficial to me than a psychologist I was seeing. And people come & go-often if a members in a really difficult place we might not hear from them until they are ready to come back & participate. Finding Beyond Blue & this forum has been the most positive thing that's happened  for me. We are also under no obligation to read or respond to anyone if we don't feel like it. The fact is depression is so real & still has much stigma. That's a reality. This forum offers hope & understanding. I don't believe people feed off others depression-we are each on a journey looking for ways to help ourselves feel better & we seek the experiences of people who may have been on a similar journey & can offer insight & support. Each person try to help each other. In no way is it just a depressing place-its a place of courage & strength, honesty & the desire to get better. It's had such a positive influence on my life. When I'm feeling down I now know I'm not alone, that there are a wealth of strategies I've learnt here to help me through such times. It's an incredible place & for me I find it inspiring & hopeful. Even my family know how much this forum has helped me. I can now talk to people who understand rather than trying to talk to people who don't.  So I guess I have the opposite opinion. With all respect I truly believe this forum has literally been a lifesaver for some & a great source of hope & inspiration to others. Thanks for sharing your thoughts & I'd be interested as others have implied-as to what you think about our different perspectives. Mares xxx

[Jo3]

Hi Sea-n-sky

For me personally, I have found BB on line forum a blessing.  I could never have got through my issues without being able to come on here and honestly open up with what happened to me.  This forum has allowed me to open up and be honest, true to myself. It has allowed me to share my despair, hurt, anger, emotions all of it to people on here that even though I have never met before, I now feel I have so many friends.  

I cannot open up freely and honestly to my husband or family. So for me this was the only place I found that I could. With no judgement, just beautiful caring people who are all suffering in their own way; and some have given amazing ideas of how to improve our mental illness; how to find happiness; how to find love etc.

I'm sorry you find this forum so depressing, I do respect your opinion but for me I have to disagree.

Beyond Blue have been amazing to me with continuing support via members from the forum to the moderators who respond and email me personally when I am in despair.  I thank them so much because I know that at times I have been in that dark hole and every time I am there BB is here to help.

Sea-n-sky - I hope you are okay and find peace and happiness.

Take care

Jo

[geoff]

dear Sea-n-sky, in due respect I appreciate your thoughts and the care you have for people, and I understand what you are saying, however I am like the others as I have to disagree with your principle.

You could naturally think that by having a forum dealing with all types of depression that what you say could be real, and that it could upset those verging on becoming depressed would feel, but this is not so, so I have to respectably disagree.

In the ten years or so I have been on this site, I have seen many people who have felt that they have only one choice in life, but after a period of time we have been able to convince this person that there is another option, and have been able to change their thinking, and that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

These people have read other posts and realised that they are not alone, and have learnt how their mind is able to expand beyond their one and only decision, and they wouldn't be able to do this unless they knew that there are other people who understand their point of view, and that's what counts and is vital to their recovery.

Don't get me wrong here because it seems as though we all disagree with you, but it's a valid point you make, and can be interrupted as you say.

There could be a possibility that by going on your reasoning that if someone who is on the verge of falling into depression, but wasn't quite there yet, that they could be vulnerable by reading the comments that people post, to then fall to this debilitating illness, but I don't go along with this, because the more they stay on this forum, the more replies they will receive to reaffirm their struggles and acknowledge their sufferings and so we both go on to to make them feel better, which is not done straight away, but if they didn't have any support then their one and only choice would be carried out.

Sure we have to acknowledge that not everyone is satisfied and this does happen, but not in the majority of cases, so they may leave the site, but doesn't that mean that they haven't learnt from being here.

It's an essential forum for people to be able to vent, whereas they couldn't do this with anybody else, as there is a great amount of experienced people who have been to hell and back, many of who have been through different experiences, and because we can relay ours to them is certainly a great help to them. Geoff.

[white knight]

Hi again Sea-n-sky

I dont think you are in a good place.  My gut feeling is that you have taken on board some sad stories here and it has downloaded to you in a negative way.

Sometimes we all can feel this way. I do on the odd occasion get a little irritated with some threads and that irritation can come out in my words posted there. I get a little grumpy then want to reach out again. This is all quite accepted by me as long as I dont upset the other person too much and they see my intentions.

So we can "swing" one way or the other. I feel your hurt at the start of this thread. I want to reach out and find what the real cause is.

I dont think any of us posters to this thread mind you starting the thread at all. We all have opinions and we are entitled to them. But I cant help feeling there is something more to this than meets the eye.

Feel free to reply. To deny or other.  We are listening.

Take care above all else.