Alone at 70

Alikiwi
Community Member

As you can guess I'm 70, but oddly find myself totally alone with no one to talk to. I've lived most of my adult life in NSW, but I have no family in this state by a bizarre twist of fate. Closest I have is a nephew in Melbourne and a daughter in Tassie who I very rarely hear from. I've also had 5 failed marriages, last one of 10 years ending last year after I packed her off back to the USA. Short version is she stayed in bed 23 hours every day doing nothing, got addicted to painkillers and even after doctors warned her off it and then proved there was nothing physically wrong with her, the GP still wouldn't force her off it. By that stage she had become abusive. I had 1 friend of 8 years in this small town but she passed away last month totally unexpectedly. The only other close friends are in another town, and any contact has to be done by me.

 

So, life is frustrating, and I only see people when I go shopping each week. Have a couple of good neighbours but rarely see them as they work and don't seem to be around much on the weekends either. So, there's my lot, and I'm wondering, why bother? Not sure this is the right place to post, so feel free to move it.

16 Replies 16

Alikiwi
Community Member

Thanks for the reply. Town of about 2000 so shops, 2 pubs (I don't usually bother with them) and chemist. Don't see moving as helping, I'm not a socialite and having moved more than 35 times, I'm seriously over that. Not sure what you're trying to say re Grandy? My bushwalking had to be curtailed, 1 and a half hours in on one and my shoulders were agony due to arthritis. I've done several on my own that don't exceed 2 hours total. On my own again.

 

Aged services rate me as low priority, so no help there. Don't know about public housing guess I could check into it. 1  and 1/3rd acres with a hand mower is a killer, waiting on ride on to be repaired, for SIX months! So utterly over it all.

randomxx
Community Member

Hi again op.

Grandy ah, was just wondering her view on things to as it seems we're all in v similar situations. See she volunteered, couldn't be into that myself.

l'm on half a hect to here, funny, mowed this with my push mower to when l got back this yr. Moved a lot eh, same but not as many l'm so needing whatever l do next either here or wherever to be my last.

l do kayak , only hobby really apart from working on property and renos before. This one, l've had to come back to just 3mths ago when l lost on a bad deal in my old house , it only has a small cabin on it and l'm actually staying in a van atm, cabin needs work again now first so just trying to make up my mind about wth l wanna or even can do and just testing things here for a bit first. 

lt's been painfully lonely here though and pretty sure l won't be staying. 50km drives to the man town to which is ok just for now but a few yrs of it and that'd be getting on my nerves.

This place isn't worth much even if l can sell it so l'll prob have to rent if l do wanna go somewhere else.

Been thinking about public housing myself too.

 

rx

randomxx
Community Member

Forgot to ask op, how do you find living on small acreage , does it help like you enjoy it, being out there and messing about or just the space, or not?

My ex w and l had small acreage lifestyle places, mind you, 12yrs ago now but l was thinking so ok l have to come over to this place now , might be nice , l could do stuff with it and enjoy some space again.

l do love roaming about on it and down out the front gate, lovely trees, drive, but l also really feel the loneliness on it by myself to it really seems to exaggerate it.

Alikiwi
Community Member

Well you could do it up and improve the value, then sell it later if you wanted to, or make it decent to live in and again later you could sell it. I've built a 2 storey house myself and did the plans as well but a divorce destroyed that and never had the money to do another. Tried even to get onto mens helpline, but 45 minutes of waiting just is beyond my patience these days. Guess they're over worked as well.

randomxx
Community Member

Sadly, mensline's had the gong these days, it helped me a lot when my marriage broke up back when. But these days, even if you do get through it's pathetic. They literally waste 5mins 1st of all squeezing your details out of you, very very mechanical and then, if you do wade through all that bs you'll get some woman saying ok, you've got 20mins, l hung up on the rude b.

Couldn't believe it l emailed to complain. Told them how they'd ruined what was a once great service, also of how rude the woman was and also asked why is there even a woman on there it's a mensline, especially such a rude one whom also has such little respect or sensitivity toward men.

 

Anyway, yeah. Have thought of something like that but the sort of thing l'd like to build and all l could afford anyway , would be great for me encase l had to or decided to stay, but not such a great reseller so from that angle, so ldk. Could use up what savings l do have for very little or no return , " if " l even could sell it later. So , don't wanna gamble on that one at this stage.

l built the cabin myself though and that was quite liveable where as now it needs some work to be back to that but l am tossing and might at least do that which could help the price and get it sold, so thinking about that. 

Alikiwi
Community Member

Funny you mention mens help line. I don't mind women answering, and I spent 2 days between beyond and lifeline to get referred to mensline and all that b/s to get a bloke who asked how could he hellp, AFTER I'd written all the details while waiting. If I knew the answer I wouldn't be there! The whole system is useless. No bloomin help at all. Can't wait to step off this miserable planet. Utterly over it all, oh and dating sites are full of scams trying to get money you don't have. Even if I did I wouldn't give any to a stranger. Internet has just created more evil in my opinion.

randomxx
Community Member

Ah, so you wouldn't mind women, fair enough. Back when oh man 12yrs ago maybe, yeah it was only men on Mensline and at the time that's what l needed. You'd just call they'd answer and talk, it was v good and they were bloody helpful too.

The only one l find these days myself , so helpful and the way it still works to, is Lifeline. l even tried Beyond Blue a few mths ago and sorry BB but this guy spent 5mins trying to squeeze my details out of me 1st, it was ridiculous, l said to him so what, someone calls up suicidal and your gonna give them the 3rd degree for 5mins first - and l left the building in disgust.

 

Date sites man, wouldn't give up actually, try another one though.  l've only just joined pof Aus and it's not bad. They seem to really go the scam on the Aus one l've only had a few, but l've talked to a few women and looked through a lot, most are real, plenty round your age bracket to.

 

Anywayyyy, l'm sorry about the way your feeling , never know what's round the next bend though that can change everything, chin up.

 

rx