10 wishes never realised

amd1953 · ‎24-03-2026

1. I wish I had fought back against the bullies at school

2. I wish I had run away from home when I had the chance.

3. I wish I had accepted one job over another.

4 I wish that I had never married.

5. I wish that I had never joined the ADF.

6. I wish I had been born better looking than I am.

7. I wish that I had been born smarter.

8. I wish my parents had never met.

9. I wish that I had not wasted so much time trying to fit in

10. I wish that I could leave this world behind me and fly to another.

Croix · ‎25-03-2026

Dear Amd1953~

I've looked at the things you wish had been different and think some you have already accomplished. Your past posts show you are smart, and you fit in here just fine without effort. Your Christmas message show a kindness in you.

You now now how to handle bullies, after all they could pop up anywhere, not just at school. Similarly now you know how to interrelate on an equal basis with others.

I could go on though the rest however I'm sure you can see that there are often hidden benefits in things you wish at first had never happened.

I wish now I'd never joined the police as it made me ill and recovery has been long. At the time I was full of enthusiasm and enjoyed it. Which is better, I don't know.

I know if I'd left my parents I would not have ended up with a guide as to what not to do as a parent, from a grim upbringing came wisdom and able parenting.

Most importantly you do already leave this world and fly to many others, from the fun galaxy of Douglas Adams to the horribly logical world of Albert Camus and there is so much more others have conceived.

As I get on in life I, like most, have regrets about situations, about the actions and choices I made, but I have the opposite too, a long list of what went well, what I enjoyed or took satisfaction from.

You can prize the knowledge you have gained though your experiences, good and bad, and now know what to look for.

DON'T PANIC <--(large friendly letters)

Croix

amd1953 · ‎27-03-2026

In the past, which is where I used to live, I was a willing slave to autonomy. These days, I am the king of all I survey. As a child I was already preprogrammed to obey the dictates of the "grownups" otherwise I would be punished. Well, how could anyone not want to strive to be so good that one becomes the personification of perfection. In those days, anyone older than me knew better than me and I was expected to toe the line and do what I was told. Even teachers had the blessing of the system to mete out corporal punishment and all in the name of authoritarianism. A swift slap across the side of the head was bound to work wonders for any errant wrongdoer. This is why I hated school. I had to contend with bullies and the teachers. I had such high hopes for when I finally left the school system. How wrong I was. I found so-called adults to be bigger children as far as sensibility went. However, now I am the keeper of the keys to the kingdom of heaven. Well, heaven on earth at least. As an ageing, grumpy old man, I have the power to lose the attitude and become a better person in a metaphysical sense. But do I really want to, I ask myself. Is it just some kind of deranged dream? Who knows?

Daydreamer70 · ‎27-03-2026

Hi there,

These are really deep and introspective reflections on yourself and life, thank you for sharing here. You seem to have a very wise outlook on the world and you're speaking about I think a lot of people can relate to. I particually related to the part where you write about your experience in school and having high hopes for leaving the system. I felt the same when leaving school, and now being out in the world I realise school is in many ways a micro version of society in many ways. Humans will always have their difficult traits throughout life, and it can be difficult to navigate at whatever stage we are in. And I think you are right, some adults really are more childish than the children themselves. That younger version of us never really leaves, we just get better at managing and masking it, some maybe more so than others. Acknowledging and accepting this part of ourselves is important and I think essential to being a better person. Awareness is the first step.

If I may ask, what things do you feel you have in your life at the moment that make you want to become a better person? What things outside of yourself give you a positive sense of purpose? I ask this because I find these questions help me focus on the positive rather than negative aspects of life and the world. Maybe they could help you too.

All the best, feel free to continue on this thread.

Daydreamer 🙂

amd1953 · ‎27-03-2026

Hello Daydreamer,

Thank you for your comments and interest in my previous post. In answer to your questions. I have always had a strong desire to be as good as I can be. I cannot always say that I have succeeded. My upbringing was quite severe which probably accounts for my fear of perpetual punishment for anything that was unacceptable to someone else. What I have now is a resolve simply to be who I already am with perhaps a little bit of fine tuning here and there. I don't thrive at all in society.

Whereas before I would listen to what everyone else thought of me and hold it all as some universal opinion. Now, I have a lot less to do with society as a whole and I no longer allow anyone to diminish my sense of self-worth. Having said that, my past tends to hang over me like a black noxious cloud, and it takes a daily effort to suppress the memories of the past. As far as external influences go, I have to say that there are very few of those. I have a deep mistrust of people due to past experiences. Reading is my main consolation these days and of course writing is a true love. When the two combine in harmony, I am in another realm of being. The older I become the more I realise how precious one life is.

Kind Regards amd1953

randomxx · ‎27-03-2026

l'm lucky l suppose in that l have done most every dream l ever had but in saying that , it has costed me dearly.

So many regrets and wishes too.

That l was more cautious and not so gung-ho in life.

That l treasured more the things and people l'd had.

That l was more conservative bc if l was l wouldn't be where l am today in so many things, situations and ways.

l wish l'd handled bullies and troubles at school differently too.

l wish above all l'd handled many things with many people but especially loved ones differently too.

rx