Struggling with being attracted to the same sex while also being a Christian.

[Guest_35246812]

I identify as a Christian, and my faith is very important to me. I want to be honest and authentic with the people around me, but I struggle with my sexuality. I often don’t want to talk about being gay, but I also don’t want people to assume things, even if they usually guess correctly. My closest friends have said, "It’s not hard to tell about you."

Growing up, I didn't have straight male friends because most guys were homophobic. This made me think that all straight guys disliked gay people. However, when I started getting more involved with my wider church denomination, I felt accepted. I made real friendships with straight guys who never questioned my sexuality, and that made me feel free.

I'm now at a uni, where most students are Christian and I’ve never felt safer or more comfortable. Most of the negativity I've faced has come from outside the church or even from some distant family members - that really shocks me. My close friend group here at uni is made up of straight guys, and even though we’ve never talked about me being same sex attracted, I still feel secure with them. I haven’t come out to my parents, but I know they love me. I'm just struggling with having to come out when straight people don’t have to. I’m a social person with a big personality and often banter around with everyone, but lately, I’ve started growing crushes on straight guys who have bantered back with me. One guy, in particular, has caught my attention, but I just found out he’s also "talking" to 2 other girls, and that made me feel kinda stupid. I want to stay strong in my Christian faith, but I can’t turn off my feelings. I’m not sure what to do next and would appreciate advice from people who have been in similar situations. PS sorry if this was all over the place!

[Scared]

Firstly I refuse to believe Jesus wouldnt accept you for being gay.  I believe Jesus accepts all who follow him in his divine love .  Its not your fault nor is there anything wrong with being gay and Jesus knows that.  Tho you need to accept that men had no choice in being straight either and you dont want friends being uncomfortable around you by showing your affections to straight men.

Im sure you already know this.

Nobody can tell you what to do but " coming out" would make your life easier.

There may be others closer than you think that are gay too afraid to come out.

But if this remains a secret you are limiting yourself to potential friends.

I guess it comes down to at the end of the day will being brave enhance your life for the better.  Im staight but had many gay friends and it never bothered me so long as they knew my sexual orientation.  

[Fiatlux]

Hi and welcome to the forums,

I am a mum of 3 adults in their 20’s. My daughter, the youngest is married in a traditional heterosexual marriage. I have never asked my children about their sexual orientation but I have told them that they never have to “come out” so to speak. I don’t want them to feel that pressure. Both my sons have had female partners in the past but are currently single. 

I recently listened to a podcast with a young man who felt ashamed to come out to his parents. Turns out his parents told him the same thing, that he didn’t need to come out. His relationship was no different to any of their other children. 

Your parents may already know in their hearts. They love you unconditionally! 🙏🏼