My Boyfriend May Have Already Lost Interest in Having Sex with Me

[JanusKiyan]

Hi,

Does the sex slowly fade away the longer you are in a relationship with someone or is that just me? I don't know much about relationship as this is only my second relationship and I've been with him for 2 years. My previous relationship was with a bad person and that only lasted for 3 months. I know that my boyfriend still feels sexual as he has a collection of porn on his computer (which I caught twice because he accidentally uploaded them on our shared document folders) but he rarely wants to do anything sexual with me anymore. We used to have lots of sexy times together but after I moved in with him he seems to have lost his interest. And I've started watching porn again recently. Don't get me wrong, I know that sex is not everything in a relationship. But I'm kind of worried that he might have lost interest in me. he is a great guy but the only thing he lacks of is that one part.

When I was depressed I used to hook up with random strangers but not until I am already in a relationship. I don't want to repeat the same mistake again and cheat on my boyfriend just because he has lost interest in me sexually. This makes me feel really anxious.

Help.

[marcus_c]

Hi Janus, the short answer to the question is yes, it's normal for there to be changes in your sex life within a relationship. The important thing is to be able to talk about it. Is that a discussion you think you can have?

When you move in with someone, what used to be novel can quickly become routine. You might find that things you took for granted before, like sex and spending couple time together, start happening less as you both get busy or caught up in daily life. It takes work and communication to keep a relationship going in the long term.

The good news is, you've been together for two years now, so the foundation is there. How do you think you'd feel about having a conversation with him about this?