Okay here goes.
My boyfriend of almost four years recently broke up with me. He has been struggling with his sexuality since I met him, along with depression, possible bipolar and taking antidepressants and recently antianxiety medication. He came out as bi-sexual to me over a year ago and that was all fine and our lives continued. I support him and his sexuality but recently I'm worried about his choices.
We very rarely fought and had a lot of things in common. There was never really a dull moment. I lost my libido when I had my contraception implant a year and a half ago and he lost his when he developed depression a year ago.
For quite a while we didn't have a sexual relationship but on all other levels we were connecting. Then around 10 months ago he stopped communicating and got really distant. I figured it was just his depression so I tried to be there for him. He talked to another friend about his problems more than me.
Three weeks ago he told me he was gay not bi and he had no feelings for me. He still considered me to be his best friend and loved me but not the way I wanted him to. But his actions and his words always contradicted. We had sex multiple times during the course of the breakup. He seemed to want to break up to stop any possibility of hurting me in the future if he found someone else. He wanted to keep living with me which I found too heartbreaking. He has become arrogant since taking the antianxiety medication and believes everything he knows and everything he believes is right.
when he told me he was bi, it was always he liked men but I was the only girl he had real feelings for. I got worried that it was his depression that caused him to fall out of love for me and thus get his feelings messed up. I know I'm probably being deluded in believing it to not be true but I'm really not coping with losing him and that part of my life. I've had to move back in with my parents because living with him got too painful. I've lost my best friend and soulmate and I feel like a part of me has died. I've been having panic attacks and nonstop crying. I haven't been able to eat or sleep for days. I've been done ecounselling and have an appointment to see someone face to face to talk about what's going on but I can't stop having hope that he will love me. I know it is horrible but I'm not coping well at all.
