21 year old female student at breaking point

21_act_f_student · ‎29-06-2013

I have no idea what to do anymore and

how to be? I am a 21 year old female

i have an autistic brother and a sister with bipolar schizophrenia.

My parents have been controlling my whole life setting goals

and wanting to achieve something, a career a family etc.

They suggested for 2013 I move in with my 18 year old sister

land live in apartment with her whilst we both study at the ssame university.

We often fight at times and have different morals in life, I was concerned

about her sleeping with her supervisor at work enforced my parents and it

all went wrong. My sister told them about my personal life

i have been seeing a bisexual 22 year old man, my parents said to me

they were disgusted by me and my choices and why I continue to hurt them.

let me clarify I am 21 years old enrolled in masters have a bachelor degree

started university at 17, whilst having a part time job and part time classes at cit.

I believe I am bisexual, I cried over the phone once trying to tell my mother

I couldn't tell her, she says open how she feels about gay people it's not

normal, disgusting, a bad lifestyle. I never want to hurt my family with seeing a

bisexual 22 year old man. They can't believe an educated woman would make such a

stupid decision etc. I also applied for Finland for semester 2 exchange and found on a Friday

night through email I wasn't accepted due to high demand in exchange students. I was crying and

At that point in life I wanted to kill my self, I was intoxicated from a bar event that night and if I

hadnt had my bisexual 22 year old man to talk to me I think I would of done something

incredibly stupid. I'm afraid of my sanity, I never knew what normal is what is crazy,

due to witnessing the mental break down of my older sister and having an autistic brother.

my parents are giving me two choices 1. Seek medical help, get medicine, figure what mental illness

I have slowly be forgiven by them but they will always remember all the trouble I caused or

go with the 22 year old man never speak to them, I would be nothing to them.

I still don't understand why I am being punished for sleeping with a bisexual man and my sister

is sleeping with her supervisor from work and nothing said to her.

Below is the email

Hello Eem

Mum & I want you to break off any kind of relationship you have been having with Male.

Not only is a risk to your health, as he is a male bisexual, it is stupid and not appropriate. Not something we would have ever expected from you. We are disappointed.

Please delete all your facebook details on him. You posting details reflects badly on the whole family.

If you don’t want to do this and become the person that you should be. Then you are by all means you free to leave the family and the apartment anytime. I will not be financially or other ways supporting you from then onwards. You will be the black sheep of the family.

Over 3 years it cost us over $80,000 to support you and this is the thanks and respect that we get.

I suggest you get health checks and tests as may be required particularly if you had any unprotected sex with a bisexual. Don’t know what s going through your head. As we suggested seek medical counselling as soon as you can, as per our previous email. You may be having early stages of some sort of psychological or other mental health problem. The early you address it the better the outcome. Get to a doctor and get assessment and support.

The future is simple - do the right things, study and work, and you will get somewhere in life.

Concentrate on study and work for now. You said to me that you want to find a guy to settle down when you were here. But you also said some very inappropriate and worrying things when you were here also. We are concerned for you but will not tolerate stupidity and non-compliance to our advise.

I want you to reply to my email (s). You can phone if you wish.

I will be coming there by next weekend to meet and talk to you and A####.

We have quite a few issues to sort out.

I want to see a email reply or phone call very soon.

S_A_D_ · ‎01-07-2013

"Numb" by U2 is good.

IMHO, I think "Numb" by Linkin Park is better.

But it's always better to go with what speaks to you. If you prefer U2, ignore me.

luke_c · ‎04-07-2013

You've got a very valid point there Facetious. I had a listen to Linkin Park's Numb and what the lyrics are at least just as interesting as U2's version. I used to hear Linkin Park's version being blasted out of the radio everyday a few years ago without properly listening to the lyrics. But I'm a U2 fan.

Luke

The_Real_David_Charles · ‎04-07-2013

Dear lukecalv84,

It's all Irish to me.

Adios, David.

PS I find the Berlin Symphony's version of Mahlers' 5th Symphony a bit grander than the Chicago Symphony's version. But if you take into account that there is a 60 piece string section of violins, violas, cellos, double basses, and a 32 piece section of woodwind and brass - 4 oboes, cor anglais, 4 flutes, 4 bassoons, 4 clarinets, 6 french horns, 4 trumpets, 3 trombones, 1 bass trombone, tuba, 3 harps plus enough percussion and timpani to fill 14 men's toilet cubicles and still be able to flush, then maybe the subjective nature of my appraisal doesn't do either major orchestra with over 100 years service each to their respective communities and the world justice. But then Mahler did composer over looking Lake Geneva and elevated the role of the cow bell to symphonic standards. The slow movement is used in the movie "Death in Venice" as the main character yearns for his love and dies heartbroken on the beach. The cow bell got stolen and entered Latin Music. Shall I go on ? Hey guys, think outside the boogie box. Will "Numb" be listened to even in 10 years ? Classical music seems to cling to humanity and embellish our senses without (1) destroying them, (2) requiring another substance to be abused, and (3) being used for any ads promoting anal bleaching. Just saying. Add in the worlds most amazing conductors in the form of Daniel Barenboin and Simon Rattle and a few jangly guitars played by sunglass wearing rock musicians might have some competition. U2 certainly owe some of their success to something called The History of Music. Whatever that is. Lol.

S_A_D_ · ‎04-07-2013

48 hours? In this scenario I'd give my parents 48 minutes with time to spare

S_A_D_ · ‎04-07-2013

As the second most popular musical band on Earth (after Coldplay), you would be hard pressed to find someone that ISN'T a U2 fan. I am, and have been for a very long time. I have 9 of their albums. I still think the lyrics and melody of Linkin Park's song is superior.

Brilliant U2 songs that speak to me when I'm down and depressed include Elevation, One, Sweetest Thing, With or Without You, Angel of Harlem, Desire and Beautiful Day.

I'm always interested to hear suggestions of other songs that speak to you.

S_A_D_ · ‎04-07-2013

As the second most popular musical band on Earth (after Coldplay), you would be hard pressed to find someone that ISN'T a U2 fan. I am, and have been for a very long time. I have 9 of their albums. I still think the lyrics and melody of Linkin Park's song is superior.

Brilliant U2 songs that speak to me when I'm down and depressed include Elevation, One, Sweetest Thing, With or Without You, Angel of Harlem, Desire and Beautiful Day.

I'm always interested to hear suggestions of other songs that speak to you.

geoff · ‎05-07-2013

dear 21, sorry I am a bit brain dead at the moment but I couldn't agree any more than what has been said.

What I can say is that your parents must have grown up in horse and cart days.

They can't run your life, don't they know about sex protection, like condoms.

You have done remarkably well to go for a masters at the age of 17, aren't they proud of that?

I remember when I was going out with my first girlfriend and married her for 25 years, well she was going out with my best mate from school, and mum hated the thought that I was doing this, and she was always waiting up for me to get home, so she could give me an ear full.

I know that she would have hated the thought if I told them I was gay, dad was a doctor so he would have accepted it, but I'm not, I'm hetersexual, I don't know what you call a man with two puppies.

Your own sexual being is private and your parents should leave you alone.

Next they will telling to have 2.5 babies and then worry about them being gay, really.

You're a brilliant girl and you will find a way to cope. L Geoff. x

luke_c · ‎06-07-2013

Coldplay? That's a bit surprising, I thought it'd be The Rolling Stones or The Beatles.

Songs that speak to me (other than U2) are Hurricane (Bob Dylan), Man On the Corner (Genesis), Do You Remember (Phil Collins), Sign O' The Times and Money Don't Matter 2 Night (Prince).

They're the ones I can think of off the top of my head..

Luke

luke_c · ‎06-07-2013

Yep I see where you're coming from David. I'm not into classical music itself (but that may change when I get older who knows?), but I do admire the timelessness and the sheer work that goes into it. You got to be pretty good to keep in timing and be fluent like they do considering all the stacks of instruments they use, and I agree. Even though I've never listened to much of their stuff, getting outside the box a bit, I think of musicians such as Sonny Terry, Brownie McGhee, Nat King Cole and Ray Charles (great pianist, even greater considering the fact he was blind).

S_A_D_ · ‎06-07-2013

The Stones and Beatles have maintained a strong fan base for the longest continuous period, but the population of this planet has risen sharply in that time, which more than makes up for it.

I like your taste in music. I know some of those songs quite well.

I also admire the discipline and coordination that goes into classical music.

You may find that being blind is what made Ray Charles greater. Visual impairment is one of the fastest ways to increase hearing acuity and mentally map an environment like a keyboard.